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125: Bernie Swain: Ronald Reagan brought us great legitimacy

Bernie Swain Show Notes

Bernie Swain was facing gargantuan competition to be the lecture agency that would represent President Ronald Reagan. He was certain that he would lose out to a more experienced and larger firm. When Bernie got the call, he prepared for the worst. Listen to Bernie share his story of how wining helped him to move onward and upward faster.

Bernie was born in Riverdale, Maryland but grew up in Arlington Virginia with his younger/older brother John.

As a young boy Bernie could always be found on the baseball on the playground or listening to a New York Yankees games on the radio and cheering on his idol, Mickey Mantle.

Inspired by his high school football coach, Bernie planned on a career in college athletics. Despite the fact that no one in his family ever attended college.

Bernie earned his undergraduate and master’s degrees from George Washington University. In the last few months of graduate work, he met his lifelong partner, Paula, a special education teacher.

When Bernie was 32 years old he became the assistant athletic director at a GW. When the athletic director announced his retirement, Bernie was offered the job. It was my dream job and at 36 years old, he far exceeded the goal of that high school boy who may or may not have ever gone to college.

Then in 1979 Bernie and Paula’s friend, Harry Rhoads, sent them the note that inspired all three of them to turn their lives upside down.  They quit their jobs to start a lecture agency—without experience, without a plan, and without a single client.

The trio worked from a small supply closet belonging to Chuck Hagel, who would later become Secretary of Defense. For eighteen rocky months, they sat in that closet with their savings running out, unable to compete against the dozens of established agencies up and down the east coast.

Then Bernie got his first exclusive speaker, sealing the deal with a handshake. That handshake became a “defining moment” for their company as word spread in the small town of Washington.

Bernie Swain is the author of What Made Me Who I Am and the co-founder and Chairman of Washington Speakers Bureau and today’s foremost authority on the lecture industry. Over the past 35 years, he has represented former US Presidents, American and world leaders, journalists, authors, business visionaries, and sports legends.

Today Bernie and Paula currently split residence in Nantucket, New York and Florida. They have three kids in New York City – Michael, Tim and Kelly and a grandchild on the way.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @Swain_Bernie and get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“We started our company based on handshakes.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet

“When an old person dies it’s like a library burning.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Each life is defined by volumes that can teach us.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Each life is a storehouse of wisdom and knowledge.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Each life is its own library stuffed to the rafters.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Sitting down and giving thought to who you are saves you a lot of time.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Success you haven’t experienced before gives you a lot of temptation.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“There are no shortcuts to success.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“We have to pay attention to the defining moments and powerful influences in our lives.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“If we face our problems and find solutions then the load is easy to carry.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“In life, it’s a step at a time and those steps are building blocks.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“It’s paying attention to other people and learning from them that’s most important.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Most of the heroes today are social media personalities that come and go.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“We don’t slow down to pay attention to our own life and learn from it.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“Young people today need heroes and examples to look up to.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“I have to stay curious about the world around me and then I can stay involved.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

“I had the passion to look for skills and develop those skills.” -Bernie Swain Click to Tweet 

Hump to Get Over

Bernie Swain was facing gargantuan competition to be the lecture agency that would represent President Ronald Reagan. He was certain that he would lose out to a more experienced and larger firm. When Bernie got the call, he prepared for the worst. Listen to Bernie share his story of how wining helped him to move onward and upward faster.

Advice for others

Pay attention to the defining moments and powerful influences in your life.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

Curiosity. I have to stay curious about what’s going on around me to stay involved.

Best Leadership Advice Received

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry the load.

Secret to Success

Passion. And the belief in myself.

Best tools that helps in Business or Life

Strategic thinking. Think ahead.

Recommended Reading

What Made Me Who I Am

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Contacting Bernie

Website: http://bernieswain.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bernie-swain-0a704b4/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Swain_Bernie

Resources and Show Mentions

54 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Competencies List: Emotional Intelligence has proven to be the right kind of intelligence to have if you want to move onward and upward faster. Get your free list today.

 

Show Transcript: 

Click to access edited transcript

125: Bernie Swain: Ronald Reagan brought us great legitimacy

 

Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we explore convenient yet effective shortcuts that will help you get ahead and move forward faster by becoming a better leader. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligent practitioner, Jim Rembach.

 

Need a powerful and entertaining way to ignite your next conference, retreat or team-building session? My keynote don’t include magic but they do have the power to help your attendees take a leap forward by putting emotional intelligence into their employee engagement, customer engagement and customer centric leadership practices. So bring the infotainment creativity the Fast Leader show to your next event and I’ll your attendees get over the hump now. Go to beyondmorale.com/speaking to learn more. 

 

Jim Rembach:   Okay Fast Leader legion today I’m excited because the guests that I have on the show today has some great stories to tell that are full of wisdom. Bernie Swain was born in Riverdale, Maryland but grew up in Arlington, Virginia with his younger brother John. As a young boy Bernie could always be found playing baseball on the playground or listening to the New York Yankee games on the radio and cheering on his idol Mickey Mantle. Inspired by his high school football coach, Bernie planned on a career in college athletics despite the fact that no one in his family ever attended college.

 

Bernie earned his undergraduate degree and master’s degree from George Washington University. In the last few months of graduate work he met his lifelong partner Paula a special education teacher. When Bernie was 32 years old he became the assistant athletic director at GW. When the athletic director announced his retirement Bernie was offered the job it was his dream job. At 36 years old he far exceeded the goal of that high school boy who may or may not have ever gone to college. Then in 1979, Bernie and Paula’s friend Harry Rhodes sent them the note that inspired all three of them to turn their lives upside down. They quit their jobs to start a lecture agency without experience, without a plan, and without a single client. The trio worked from a small supply closet belonging to Chuck Hagel who would later become the secretary of defense. For 18 rocky months they sat in the closet with their savings running out unable to compete against the dozens of established agencies up and down the East Coast. 

 

Then Bernie got his first exclusive speaker sealing the deal with a handshake that handshake became a defining moment for their company as word spread in the small town of Washington D.C. Bernie Swain is the author of What Made Me Who I am and the co-founder and chairman of Washington speaker’s bureau, today’s foremost authority on the lecture industry. Over the past years 35 years he has represented former presidents, American and world leaders, journalists, authors, business visionaries, and sports legends. 

Today Bernie and Paula currently split residence in Nantucket, New York and Florida. They have three kids all in New York City, Michael, Tim and Kelly and one grandchild on the way. Bernie Swain are you ready to help us get over the hump?

 

Bernie Swain:  Yes. I’m looking forward to it. 

 

Jim Rembach:   I’m glad you’re here. Now I’ve given our listeners a little bit about you but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better?

 

Bernie Swain:  Well in the mid 1980’s Alex Haley kind of set me on a path to understand the people that I was representing to look at them not as clients but as people that I could learn something from, a classroom for instance. And so I’ve written a book and my passion at the moment is getting word out on that book and sharing it with young people.

 

Jim Rembach:   I appreciate—I had the opportunities to see you as well as here you on an interview with Doc Baron who’s also a guest on the Fast Leader show and I think you guys had a really great time together and I just got so fascinated by your story and how you’ve actually overcome a lot of the hurdles that so many of us have to overcome both in an organization as well as building your own organization and I thought you’d be a great guest on the show, so thanks for coming. But when you start talking about who or what made me who I am, for you without going through and talking about the entire book what are some of the things that stand out for you?

 

Bernie Swain:  Well, as I said we started our company as you said earlier based on handshakes and it was actually a mistake all the other lecture agencies at that time were signing people for one and two-year contracts and Steve came to us because his contract was up and they hadn’t produced for him so he says I’ll give you guys a chance and we had been in that stationery closet for 14 months when he came to us. I was so excited and went over to Steve’s office and shook his hand came back to the office’ tried to justify it to my wife Paula and our partner Harry by saying what good would it do to sign somebody to a piece of paper and that mistake on my part turned about out to be a defining moment for us because Steve went and then told other journalists that in Washington DC that if you didn’t want to tie yourself up to a written contract that you could shake hands with this new speaker’s bureau in town and walk away from them anytime you want. And what that did was establish for us the atmosphere of trust and honesty. 

 

In 1985 Alex Haley came aboard with us and Alex used to sit with me in the office for hours at a time and talk about family relationships and he used to repeat a phrase to me, when an old person dies it’s like a library burning. And that phrase stuck with me and as the days and months passed I began to understand what he was saying to me, that each life the lives of those that are listening today and the millions of people that go uncelebrated is defined by experiences that have volumes to teach us and that each life is basically a storehouse of wisdom and knowledge its own library stuffed to the rafters. I wrote this book for two reasons one is to share these collections of stories that inspired me for many years about and taught me something about life the stories of a compelling an eclectic group of my friends who were guided by their powerful influences and the defining moments and by recounting these stories to give others a better picture and understanding of their own life and the importance of the turning points on the process. 

 

Jim Rembach:   Thank you for sharing that. There’s a couple things that stood out to me as you were talking about that and also one of the things that I didn’t have the opportunity to share is the background of your parents. Both of them came from pretty meager means and even your father went through a lot of I guess you’d say issues associated with having a stable home, and grew up in an orphanage and all of those things kind of culminate into kind of what we are and what we have become. Oftentimes we lose sight of that because on the Fast Leader show often times it’s a little bit of an irony. In the Fast Leader show we talk about doing things faster but really the way to do things faster is to do them correctly. 

 

Bernie Swain:   Right, it puts us on the right path. We don’t off on tangents and make mistakes and have to re-correct ourselves. Sitting down and giving thought to who you are and the events and the people in your lives that have affected you and changed you in essence made you who you are saves you a lot of time and allows you to make fast decisions.

 

Jim Rembach:   That’s a very good point. When you talked about that mistake—you talked about how it was a defining moment, however, what was the temptation for you to go to that next speaker and try to actually get them under contract and use that piece of paper versus the handshake?

 

Bernie Swain:   Well, actually over the years—in 30 some years we have not yet re-signed anybody to a written contract. I remember in 1984, I was kind of anxious about having some success an initial success that you haven’t experienced before gives you a lot of temptation to cut corners and nobody and the industry had followed us with handshakes, we were the only people signing people with handshakes people could walk away from us anytime we weren’t tying them up. I was anxious to cut corners maybe to raise commission’s to do things to make success come quicker for us and in the process at the same time we were recruiting a football coach from the University of Minnesota who would later go to the University of Notre Dame named Lou Holtz and Lou was going to the White House to meet with Ronald Reagan and we read about in the paper and sent Lou a letter asking Lou if he’d stop by the office no one had been able ever to represent Lou, Lou had been independent and at the same time he was probably the best sports speaker in the country at the time. So, I asked Lou if he we could represent him when he came to the office and he wrote me a letter a month later saying that he needed to concentrate on football and that while he appreciated the offer he turned us down. Months later after that I get another letter from Lou and says, you know that I have two inboxes on my desk and one is for football and one is for speeches and the inbox for speeches is twice as big as the inbox for football and if I’m going to be successful in life I need to concentrate on football so if you’ll allow me I will love for you to represent me on three conditions and those three conditions were, do you care about me? Are you committed to excellence? And can I trust you? And I put that letter on my desk and left it there thinking I was going to file it away and for some reason it stayed there for a day and maybe two days or three days and finally it came to me why I couldn’t put it away. Do you care about me? Can I trust you? Are you committed to excellence? Those were the very reasons I walked away from GW and to start something on my own that I had never experienced before because I wanted to build a company that I was proud of and I was at a point where I was willing to cut corners and do anything for success and I suddenly realized there are no shortcuts to success and that totally changed my life and put us back on the correct path. If I hadn’t gotten that letter, if Lou hadn’t signed, came and shook hands with us I would have probably gone the path of other lecture agencies or done something different or maybe never been as successful as I ended up being.

 

Jim Rembach:   And so you have to share with me too because as I was listening to you talk I started thinking about the whole fast piece and that we kind of hit as they call a tipping point or we hit a point by which exponential activity starts occurring. In other words we have like 10 speakers, 20 speakers and all of a sudden boom! We have like 200 that we’re representing. So, to me I’m thinking that that slow growth actually did help with the acceleration to get to where you are today. Am I wrong in that thinking?

 

Bernie Swain:   No, you’re really right.  In 1988 in the fall we got a letter from the White House asking if we would be one of 30 agencies to interview to represent Ronald Reagan. The idea was that they would take—and these were not just the big lecture agencies up and down the East Coast but their Hollywood agencies because he was from Hollywood and so the idea was that you would take the 30 agencies have an interview whittle it down to 15 then another interview down to 7 and they would present the top two choices to the President and Mrs. Reagan for them to select it. You heard nothing for two months nobody knew what was going on and Washington is a very gossipy town so if you need to know something all you have to do is pick up the phone call somebody and they can find out what’s going on but there was nothing. Suddenly in the middle of February, two and a half months after the last interview, I get a call from Fred Ryan, who’s now publisher of The Washington Post, and he was the chief of staff for Ronald Reagan and I braced myself for the bad news because I kind of envisioned what he was going to say—Bernie, you’ve done a great job you should be proud of the accomplishments you’ve done in nine years and you did a great job with the interviews but I hope you understand we have to go with a more experienced agency. And so I picked up the phone bracing myself for that bad news and he got right to the point and says, President and Mrs. Reagan have selected you to represent them. I didn’t know what to say so I promised that we would do a good job, told him that we’d be in touch soon and hung up the phone. I remember sitting at my desk that day thinking how totally amazing it was that a President of the United States would select a fledgling agency and a group of totally inexperienced people to represent him and risk his legacy and I came to understand it after I got to know him that he was really a small-town boy who believed in entrepreneur-ism in the little guy and he wanted to give us a chance. It was exactly what years earlier Alex Haley has said to me that we have to pay attention to the defining moments and the powerful influences in our lives and that’s exactly what Ronald Reagan did. If I had that slow start, if I hadn’t paid attention to the experiences and the lessons that I was being taught for the people I represented maybe I would have never represented Ronald Reagan. Soon as that took place we were representing Margaret Thatcher and ended up representing the last six Prime Ministers of Great Britain, five secretaries of state and three out of the last four Presidents. 

 

Jim Rembach:   That’s absolutely amazing. So, I know now you’re sitting here with a whole slew and cadre of all of these folks who have been part of your life and that obviously you’ve been part of theirs because you said of the way that you do business you get to know them and you care about them so there’s personal interactions that are there. So, I can only imagine that there’s a whole lot of inspiration that you’ve received along the way. And one of the things that we look at on the show are quotes to help find inspiration. Is there a quote or two for you that you can share?

 

Bernie Swain:  Lou Holtz who has been a big influence in my life, I’m still very close to Lou, I just went to his 80th birthday party. He’s made the kind of life he’s lived. He has made a great influence on me and he gave me a quote years ago– It’s not the amount of the load we carry but how we carry that load. And what he meant was that we all have responsibilities we all have problems in life and if we allow those problems and responsibilities just to stay stagnant in where they are the load becomes heavy but if we pay attention to our responsibilities and handle them one at a time if we face our problems and find solutions for those problems then the load is easy to carry and we can carry greater loads, which we end up doing anyway.

 

Jim Rembach:   That’s very true. And I think the whole piece for me about just the movement don’t stay and don’t be burdened to the point to where you don’t actually make some type of movement even if it’s backwards at least is movement because eventually you will get moving forward.

 

Bernie Swain:  Right. In our business the thing you hate the most is that you schedule somebody to speak at an event and you may schedule them four months in advance and I remember at one point Ronald Reagan fell off his horse and I had three of speaking engagements for him and it’s the worst thing in the world to call somebody and say the person you’ve been depending on can’t come no matter how legitimate that is. I remember thinking to myself at one time I had two or three speakers that once had to cancel for very legitimate reasons but I just couldn’t bring myself to call the client and tell them right away and I was in the process of trying to find replacements so I have something ready and I let it build up and I remember that feeling of letting those problems build up without taking care of them immediately and it was an experience, I was living with Lou Holtz said not to do.  People say quotes to you all the time like Lou that quote to me but sometimes you have to experience what that quote means in order to understand it and for it to work for you. 

 

Jim Rembach:   I can imagine too then when we started talking about this that may be a hump that we have to get over quite often. And we shared one of the hump as far as starting the speaker’s bureau was concerned, but is there another hump story that you can tell us that we can actually gain some more wisdom from?

 

Bernie Swain:  I think the big hump for us was the Ronald Reagan story. Because what Ronald Reagan ended up bringing us great legitimacy. Nobody in Washington DC ever thought we would represent a Ronald Reagan and when that happened—I remember the next year Margaret Thatcher had resigned on Thanksgiving and it was hard to get a hold of people and I didn’t really know who to call to reach Margaret Thatcher and I remember getting a call from President Reagan the next day who said that I just talked to Maggie and she wants you to represent her. And so you just don’t know you build up step at a time when you build something or in life it’s a step at a time and then suddenly you find that those steps or building blocks where you build something that’s a solid foundation and that solid foundation then allows you to build a bigger house on it or have bigger opportunities in life. I remember that Ronald Reagan was the biggest hump we ever overcame in addition to the Lou Holtz story where it just changed my perspective on life.

 

Jim Rembach:   When you start thinking about over the course of the years and where things are going from a speaker and lecturer perspective, what do you see some of the things that are most profound in regards to the future and where you’re headed?

 

Bernie Swain:  It’s very interesting because with Donald Trump and what’s going on in the country today it’s totally different from the life and the people that I’ve experienced before. As far as our lecture industry is concerned I think it’s going to grow. Years ago they came up with an idea of teleconferencing so you would then be able to tell a conference to an event and for us the important thing is for people to be there in person and to touch and allow you to feel the experience that’s taking place. So I don’t see a great deal of change in our industry. I think it’s an industry that’s just going to grow because I think today we want to feel people and to understand people and to experience different experiences. More than ever today we can easily get lost in our own ideas of what we want to do and what we want to become but it’s paying attention to other people and learning from other people that’s most important. 

 

Jim Rembach:   I think that’s a very important point that we all should consider as a takeaway. Proximity and being able to have that flesh and that feel and all of that is extremely important so if we’re sitting there and we’re thinking about reaching out to somebody and making  a particular contact having an important conversation. How we go about them? The way that we do that is extremely important. And I’ve always said up for face to face and whenever you can get it and everything else comes way below that and i think you just validated that for me 

 

Bernie Swain:  Right. And I think that’s what your show does. Your show shares those experiences with other people so that they can take those experiences and use them in their own life. The point of what you do is that you’re giving kind of a guideline a direction for people to go so that they can make the most of their own life.

 

Jim Rembach:   I appreciate that. Now I know—and we talked about a grandchild on the way, we talked about splitting your residence, we talked about continuing to work as a Chairman on the  

Board of the organization—the Speaker’s Bureau—what’s one of your goals?

 

Bernie Swain:  Most of the people in the book that I wrote or people that are recognized by people that are my age, I grew up with those people, but young people today starting out in life don’t have the heroes or the examples in life that I had. Most of the heroes today are social media personalities that come and go and so my the difficult thing for me today is what I’m trying to do is to reach out and speak to schools and to classrooms and meet young people to share the experiences in this book and for them to understand the importance of finding your own turning points and own powerful influence as those turning points in their own life that can make a difference for them. Because I think today you order something one day and it comes the next day and things go so quickly that we don’t slow down as we said in our conversation, you don’t slow down to pay attention to your own life and to learn from it. And I think today young people need heroes and examples to look up to or examples to better understand their own examples in their own life. It took me, for example, how many people get to a certain age and they lose their parents and they think back—well, gee, if I’d only ask this question if I’d only known a little bit more with their grandparents and it’s the same thing wouldn’t it be better if we were in our 20’s and 30’s and we could learn the things that we would have learned when we were 50 and 60 and 70 years old and use those things.

 

Jim Rembach:   And the Fast Leader legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on let’s get a quick word from our sponsor:

 

An even better place to work is an easiest solution that gives you a continuous diagnostic on employee engagement along with integrated activities that will improve employee engagement and leadership skills in everyone. Using this award winning solutions guarantee to create motivated, productive, and loyal employees who have great work relationships with our colleagues and your customers. To learn more about an even better place to work visit      beyondmorale.com/better.

 

Alright, here we go Fast Leader legion, it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay, Bernie, the Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast.  I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us onward and upward faster. Bernie Swain are you ready to hoedown? 

 

Bernie Swain:  I’ll try all.

 

Jim Rembach:   Alright. So, what do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today?

 

Bernie Swain:  I think curiosity is holding you back. I mean the fact that I have to stay curious about what’s going on in life and the world around me and the really important issues today. And if I stay curious about those issues then I can stay involved.

 

Jim Rembach:   What is the best leadership advice you have ever received?

 

Bernie Swain:  I think it’s Lou’s advice. It’s not the load that breaks you down it’s the way you carry the load. And I think that’s very important because things can get us down and we can lose perspective quickly because we can’t handle our own situations.

 

Jim Rembach:   What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

 

Bernie Swain:  Passion. I sat in that stationary closet for 14 months without representing a speaker. Every day I got up excited about a new day and I was facing and I would come home at night facing a lot of adversity because I’ve been disappointed that nothing had been accomplished I was virtually out of money after 14 months. I was not smart, I didn’t know what I was doing when I started this lecture agency so I think it was the passion to accomplish something and belief in myself.

 

Jim Rembach:   What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life? 

 

Bernie Swain:  Strategic thinking. The key to me when we sign well-known speakers and we’re competing with other agencies is to think ahead what the competition is going to say. I ought to know what somebody is going to say about me or what events going to take place so I have an answer to that question before it takes place. And if I think ahead—Tim Russert when he was alive, a host of Meet the Press, Tim would ask one question and then a follow-up question and his third question which nobody does today was what he knew would be the answer to the first and second question and try to get a correct answer rather than understanding what they were trying to say to us. So, I think strategic thinking is the key.

 

Jim Rembach:   What would be one book and it could be from any genre, and of course we’ll put a link to “What Made me who I am” on your show notes page, but what would be a book from any genre that you’d recommend?

 

Bernie Swain:  There’s a book by Angela Duckworth called Grit: The power of passion and perseverance, and it’s a terrific book. It shows that passion is much more important than talent and I think it’s a great book for anybody to read. 

 

Jim Rembach:   Okay, Fast Leader legion you can find links to that and other bonus information from today’s show by going too fastleader.net/Bernie Swain. Okay, Bernie, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity go back to the age of 25. And you’ve been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you. But you can’t take everything back you can only just choose one so what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

 

Bernie Swain:  That’s such an easy question because when I started out I had one single ability and nothing else. You’ve got to remember that I started a speaker’s bureau by reading an article in Fortune magazine where article was about—it said, I don’t have any competition. It turned out there was no Internet back then and because there was no Internet I had no way to tell whether he was telling the truth or not. I was six months later in starting the speaker’s bureau and discovered because I got letters from other speaker’s bureaus that there was 12 other agencies in addition to this there was Harry Walker agency which was the subject of this article and discovered that I was facing a lot of competition. So, passion is the answer to your question. Without the passion—I built on skills because I had the passion to look for those skills and to develop those skills. 

 

Jim Rembach:   Bernie it was not her to spend time with you today can you please share with the Fast Leader Legion how they can connect with you?

 

Bernie Swain:  I’m on http://bernieswain.com. I’m on Facebook, LinkedIn. I love to connect with anybody anytime and I answer any questions that are ever sent to me so I’d love to do that.

 

Jim Rembach:   Bernie Swain, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader Legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

 

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today for recaps, links from every show, special offers, and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and word faster.

 

END OF AUDIO 

 

 

 

121: Tracy Goodwin: I was getting beaten every night

Tracy Goodwin Show Notes

Tracy Goodwin was a Freshman in college and was cast as the lead in a play. The young man playing opposite of her began to beat her as part of a scene. The intensity increased over time and Tracy asked the play Director if it could stop. The director refused and threatened to replace her. Tracy was devastated. Listen to Tracy’s story of how she was able to get over this hump and move onward and upward faster.

Tracy was born and raised in Kingwood, Texas just outside of Houston along with her two older sisters and an older brother.

Her older brother and sister are quite older than her and her middle sister, so it’s as if there were two families of siblings. Her mother was resilient and caring home maker.

Her father was a Choctaw Indian, born on a reservation in Oklahoma.  Her dad was her inspiration as he lived an extremely difficult life and overcame incredible circumstances to become the President and CEO of the largest pipe fabrication company in the world.

Growing up in a family where she was not a loud to use her voice Tracy started entering speaking contests at the age of 12. Wanting to be a professional actor Tracy when to college and received Bachelors of Fine Arts and Master of Child Drama.

Continuing to act and working professionally as an actor for years and then directing plays all over the world at the age of 34 she finally found her destiny.

Tracy now is the Chief Voice Coach of Captivate the Room. And author of Captivate the Room with your Voice.

Tracy is proud to leave behind as her legacy two thing. First recovering her son from autism which was somewhat severe in the early days and doing it without support from family or friends.  She sees that as one of her greatest blessings because it give her the ability to get her son everywhere he needs to succeed.  Her second legacy is the number of people that she has helped step into the power of their voice and get from limitations linked to their voice from their past experiences.

She has overcome insurmountable odds both personally and professionally but God has seen her through and is good all of the time.

Tracy currently lives in Los Angeles, California as a single mother of a child with special needs whose father left when he was 5 months old. Tracy calls it her, “went out for a loaf of bread and never came back” kind of story.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @TracyAGoodwin and get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet 

“Everybody has a message to share.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet

“What is your psychology of the voice?” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“You need to use the five elements of voice variety.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“We should be using the five voice elements to touch the emotions of our listeners.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“When we’re up in our head we’re disconnected from our voice.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“It’s about getting out of our head and connecting to the passion.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“The voice is the orchestra of the heart.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“The words are everything and they are nothing, it’s how you bring them to life.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“Only 7% of the impact of the message is in the actual words.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“Perception in our mind is not always reception.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“Speak your truth, just do it beautifully.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“They need to hear it in such a way that it connects back to memories.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“We are not a problem, we’re all an answer.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

“There’s a purpose and a reason for everything and you don’t need to control it.” -Tracy Goodwin Click to Tweet 

Hump to Get Over

Tracy Goodwin was a Freshman in college and was cast as the lead in a play. The young man playing opposite of her began to beat her as part of a scene. The intensity increased over time and Tracy asked the play Director if it could stop. The director refused and threatened to replace her. Tracy was devastated. Listen to Tracy’s story of how she was able to get over this hump and move onward and upward faster.

Advice for others

Include vocal variety in your delivery.

Holding her back from being an even better leader

Fear of rejection.

Best Leadership Advice Received

Take a breath and start before you’re ready.

Secret to Success

Never give up.

Best tools that helps in Business or Life

Intuition and trusting self.

Recommended Reading

Captivate the Room with Your Voice

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Contacting Tracy

Website: http://captivatetheroom.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracyagoodwin/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TracyAGoodwin

Resources and Show Mentions

54 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Competencies List: Emotional Intelligence has proven to be the right kind of intelligence to have if you want to move onward and upward faster. Get your free list today

Show Transcript: 

Click to access edited transcript

121: Tracy Goodwin: I was getting beaten every night

Intro Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we explore convenient yet effective shortcuts that will help you get ahead and move forward faster by becoming a better leader. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

 

Need a powerful and entertaining way to ignite your next conference, retreat or team-building session? My keynote don’t include magic but they do have the power to help your attendees take a leap forward by putting emotional intelligence into their employee engagement, customer engagement and customer centric leadership practices. So bring the infotainment creativity the Fast Leader show to your next event. And I’ll your attendees get over the hump now. Go to beyondmorale.com/speaking to learn more. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Okay, Fast Leader Legion, today I’m excited because we have somebody on the show today that is going to help you find something that you must find. Tracy Goodwin was born and raised in Kingwood, Texas just outside of Houston along with her two older sisters and an older brother. Her older brother and sister were quite older than her and her middle sister so it was as if there were two families of siblings. Her mother was resilient and a caring homemaker. Her father was a Choctaw Indian born on a reservation in Oklahoma. Her dad was an inspiration as he lived in extremely difficult life and overcame incredible circumstances to become the President and CEO of the largest pipe fabrication company in the world. Growing up in a family where she was not allowed to use her voice, Tracy started entering speaking contest at the age of 12. Wanting to be a professional actor, Tracy went on to college and received a bachelor’s of Fine Arts and a Master’s of Childhood Drama. Continuing to act and working professionally as an actor for years and then directing plays all over the world at the age of 34, she finally found her destiny, Tracy is now the chief voice coach of Captivate the Room, and author of Captivate the Room Find your Voice. Tracy is proud to leave behind as her legacy two things, first, recovering her son from autism, her second legacy is the number of people that she has helped step into the power of their voice and get from limitations linked to their voice from their past. She has overcome insurmountable odds both personally and professionally but God has seen her through and is good all the time. Tracy currently lives in Los Angeles, California as a single mother of a child with special needs whose father left when he was five months old. Tracy calls at her went out for a loaf of bread and never came back, kind of story. Tracy Goodwin, are you ready to help us get over the hump?

 

Tracy Goodwin: I am so ready and so delighted to be here, thanks for having me. 

 

Jim Rembach:  I’m glad you’re here Tracy. Now I’ve given our listeners a little bit about you but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well, my current passion is my work. I just absolutely love helping people find their voice and learn how to speak their truth beautifully. Everybody has a message to share and that’s just kind of my thing that is what I love to do.

 

Jim Rembach:  There’s many figurative types of presentations of finding your voice, kind of like finding your place gaining your ground a lot of those things that you are talking about the feeling but for you we’re literally talking about voice quality, voice impact, voice dynamics all of those things. So, how do you actually address finding voice versus somebody who’s talking about it figuratively?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well, I think the inner voice is what a lot of people work with. What is your message? What is your story? And that is great. But I go straight to the core of what is your psychology of the voice? What have you laid into the muscle memory, that I’m going to call bad habits, like your words aren’t flowing out or you’re not using all five elements of variety or even worse you’ve got voice barriers that are preventing you from selling, from connecting, from catapulting your success, so it’s literal techniques that are the difference between good voice habits and bad voice habits. Captivating and enthralling the audience and leaving them in a fog drifting off into their iPhones. 

 

Jim Rembach:  So, you talked about the five—what are the five?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Pausing, which is the most powerful tool in the toolbox, elongation, shades of fast and slow, shades of high and low, and shades of loud and soft, those are all interesting right? Five elements, five senses that’s what we really should be using to touch the emotions of our listeners and most people use one or maybe two, I call them go two’s. 

 

Jim Rembach:  That’s really interesting that you bring up those different dynamics. I get feedback from people who have listened to different episodes and some of the feedback that I have received are about certain people in the way that they’ve connected with the listener. And for me I’m like—it’s really interesting how they interpret things versus what I interpret from a listening perspective. Because I’ve had some people on the show that for me are incredibly brilliant folks and yet they don’t convey or come across that way and I’ve had people say for some of those folks they really didn’t complete the episode because they didn’t think there was a whole lot of engagement or dynamics there. So, how do you teach somebody who’s stuck in a rut to get out of it?

 

Tracy Goodwin: I can totally believe what you just said to me because I see that day in and day out. And a lot of times people that are super analytical, people that are really in their head that’s the thing. When we’re up in our head we’re disconnected from our voice so, we’ve got to get back in the body. One of the things that I start with I associate everything with food. So, voice is like baking a cake. First we have to fix the foundation which is actually baking the cake and then we’re going to come back in and we’re going to ice it and put the roses on and that’s the flair. So the first thing we have to do is we have to assess and say, okay, your sound is stuck in the back of your throat that’s part of why you can’t make it interesting because it’s kind of holding it back there not letting it flow out and so this is the box that you’re working in. So, first we have to flip something in that muscle memory to pull that sound out and get it flowing, I call it strengthening the pipeline like a garden hose. You turn a garden hose on and the water comes out at the end, well it does unless I sneak over in the night and clip little holes in it and then the water also comes out the side, we’ve got to patch those holes first so that the sound will flow out strong, that’s where we start almost always. 

 

Jim Rembach:  I think you bring up a really interesting point. And as you were talking I started thinking about how I get feedback from some of my guests when it’s on mic versus off mic. So we’ll have conversations and then we’ll record an episode and they’re like, wow, you come with so much energy you’re not the same person that I was just talking to a moment ago. And I think that’s an important point, is that you have to know when you’re on and when you got to bring it and when you have to do things that are different than what you would do during your normal conversation but that doesn’t come naturally. 

 

Tracy Goodwin:  No, that’s that stepping into energy and that’s such a good point and that’s where so many people struggle. They struggle in being podcast guests or hosting a podcast, it’s huge for people in video. They’re okay in regular conversation but as soon as the camera rolls, they just kind of get like this and so it’s about stepping into that energy. And it’s especially important like what you’re doing is phenomenal because we can be on a show with a guest and if that guest has really low energy we can easily drop down to that energy and what we want to do is we want to pull them up to our energy. So, it is, it’s about getting past those barriers, getting out of our head, getting in our body, taking in a breath and connecting to the passion because then the voice is allowed to work and be the orchestra of the heart that it really is. 

 

Jim Rembach:  And I would like to take an add on to this because for me a lot of our listeners are actually working within an organizations and have careers where they have to do a lot of business presentations and the assumption is that they have to just really present the data and not be someone who detracts from or takes away from the emotion and all of the insight that can be used to connect to people in their heart so that they’re really reaching their mind. That’s what I try to tell people that they really need to bring out is that telling people the statistics is really—people don’t connect emotionally to statistics what they connect emotionally to is what happens as a result of those statistics. Meaning, I felt upset, I felt energized, I felt betrayed, I felt like I wanted more, I felt like I wanted to run away, it’s those things that they really need to connect with in order for their business presentation to have more meaning. 

 

Tracy Goodwin: Absolutely and you are singing my song. I mean one of my key sayings is the words are everything and they are nothing it’s how you bring them to life that changes lives. And I get that with people—I love that and I get that with people with regards to professionalism I don’t want people to think I’m not professional so I have to be professional, well, you have to be real too. We’re going to see your professionalism we’re going to know you’re the expert that is there, we’ve got to connect with you that’s just as important. Like you’re saying the statistics sure, but man, could touch my life, touch my emotions make me feel something. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Well, I also have to share with you because of what we’re talking about here is—just the casual conversation talking to somebody at a conference and they were referring to a business case that they were having to build about initiative that they were trying to get approved. And they had a lot of non-business presentation conversations with one of the folks that who was really a key decision-maker for this particular project and she went through, put together all of her business case information and hand it over to him and he basically said that, “you know what, we don’t really need to go through all of this business presentation stuff” he goes, “this is just the right thing to do.” And approved it without her even presenting her business case.

 

Tracy Goodwin:  Wow!

 

Jim Rembach:  I think that’s a great lesson for us to all take is that, if you can connect emotionally and bring it and turn it on and really get to people’s heart through that and then ultimately connect to their head a lot of times the business cases that you go through you may only be doing them because they’re required not because it’s actually connecting and getting your things approved.

 

Tracy Goodwin:  Oh, I agree. I agree a hundred percent, it’s about connection, absolutely. And the voice is a big tool for that. We get bogged down in the words a lot I think too much and there are other elements. What is the statistic? I believe it’s only 7% of the message, the impact of the message is in the actual words the rest is body and voice which is connection.

 

Jim Rembach:  So a lot of the folks that I am having the opportunity to interact with and hopefully assist and support help, are people who are in customer, care contact centers, customer experience, and so the voice oftentimes is the primary interaction point. If you were to say and look at the experiences that you have had working with folks in, yes the theater, but is also the business world, if you were to say that there was one thing that they could really focus on to make a difference for them, what would it be?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Oh boy, narrowing it down to one. I think—

 

Jim Rembach:  Or let me put it this way, if there was a common thing that you have seen where people struggle with that often times you could say that the most people have this problem, what would that be?

 

Tracy Goodwin: I think it would be stepping outside of the variety box, the vocal variety box that keeping everything contained and you end up doing what we call flat lining and you have zero variety of any kind whatsoever like that, start rolling in some variety. What is your norm? Do you normally go fast? Then roll in a little bit of slow to balance it out. Are you normally loud? Roll in a little bit of quiet. Because what that does is that creates unpredictability and so it keeps us engaged. And when we’re engaged we’ll listen better than sitting here while you’re talking and I’m thinking about what I’m going to say because I’m not even listening to you. So, I think that variety is a big, big part of it. 

 

Jim Rembach:  That’s an interesting point that you bring up because we used to have contests within our call center of different voices and variety that we would actually bring so it will kind of break up the monotony of the day. And so we’d like have radio voice day where we’d all say, “Hello, this is Jim, how can I help you today? What other things would help us step into more variety?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Probably the acknowledgement and recognition and understanding that perception in our mind is not always reception. We think, Oh! my gosh, I’m being too over-the-top, I’m being too wild. I’m being too loud, I’m being too crazy, I’m making a fool of myself, when really that’s not what’s being received at all. So, I think it’s about bumping it up. Like what we were talking about a little a little while ago about stepping into that energy, getting a little more exciting with the choices that you’re making with your voice. Because you’re perceiving it in your head is maybe too much or maybe enough but what are they receiving? If they’re staring off, if they’re not listening, if they’re looking at their phone, they’re not receiving anything that’s too interesting. I think it’s, really that awareness of—okay, I need to up my game here a little bit I need to play in a bigger box, if that makes sense. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Well, it does. And so when you start thinking about the Fast Leader show stepping it up and bringing it and having the dynamics oftentimes we look to quotes to kind of help us do those things. Is there a quote or two that you can share?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well, I have to think about that. Some of the things that I use the most are things that that I say. One of them is, “Speak your truth just do it beautifully”. I think we have to get to  a place where we get comfortable saying what we need to say without fear using our voice and speaking it in a beautiful way not relying on tone, and not the right words but tone, so that maybe you’ll get how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking.  I see that in the workplace a lot I think that’s a big one. And I think of course my favorite that I’ve already mentioned is, “The words are everything and they are nothing.” It’s how you bring them to life. How do you want to make me feel? How do you want me to feel? Do you want me to get excited? Then you need to have excitement in your voice because that’s going to get me excited. If you just flat line I’m going to just flat line emotionally. 

 

Jim Rembach:  As you’re talking I started thinking about something that we refer to an emotional intelligence called active listening. And I think we need to turn that a little bit and talk about active speaking. How does our audience actually need to hear it not how we normally deliver it?

 

Tracy Goodwin: How do they need to hear the message? Or hear our voice? 

 

Jim Rembach:  All of that.

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well, I think that at the end of the day in my world it’s about connection and it’s about having their senses touched which in turn affects their emotions they need to hear it in such a way that it is going to connect them back to memories. When I say, “Oh, the winter, it was so cold.” I need to say that in such a way where they go—Oh, that reminds me I remember that time and that winter back in ’78, I like her I want to hear what else she has to say. So, they need to hear it in such a way where we’re not talking at them we’re talking to them we’re sharing experiences and we’re connecting, based on those experiences that happen to be coming from words, but the voice and the elements of the voice are being used to affect the senses so the connection can truly be created. 

 

Jim Rembach:  It’s a great point, thank you for sharing that. Now we had talked about—off mic—about a couple of the things associated with how you’ve come to be the actual chief voice coach. We talked about some of the humps that we have to get over and you talked about the transition and ultimately finding where you need it to be in this world as well as your family dynamics and stuff, there was a lot of humps. But can you share one of those?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well I can tell you the biggest one and it’s kind of a mind bender, really. But I was, of course you know, I wasn’t really allowed to use my voice and I found speaking and acting as a way to use my voice. When I went off to college I was cast in a lead in a play which, as a freshman was a huge deal. And in the play there was a scene where the man is supposed to slap the woman, and of course you’re thinking it’s going to be staged slapping, but as the play progressed as we rehearsed the young man that was playing opposite of me started slapping me around for real and nothing was done about it and it got worse and it got worse to the point where I was getting beaten every night. 

 

Now, remember I was raised in a family where I was not allowed to use my voice, so I was terrified to use my voice. And three nights before we opened, he just literally beat me to—a horrible—he threw me down on a hardwood floor face down on a hardwood floor, broke my nose. And I went to the director of the play and I said, “Listen, I finally mustered my courage, and I said, is there any way he could not hit me like that anymore? I can’t take it anymore. And she said, let me tell you something you have chosen a profession in which you must suffer for your art and if you can’t I can replace you. And the result of that was my voice started—I started talking like this—this was what my psychology of my voice because I was so afraid. Well, all of that was horrible but what that did was that put me in the training that is the core of what I teach and how I help people today 32 years later. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Thanks for sharing that, I’m sorry that—I can only—what happened after that discussion? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: With the director? 

 

Jim Rembach:  With the show? With everything? I mean to me it’s like—how did—I know your voice change but I can only imagine the pain and the anguish and the frustration and the feeling of despair that went through, how did you move forward from that? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: It was pretty awful and I don’t really even think that I felt the full ramifications of it until later I honestly think that I was in shock for quite some time. Shock that it was happening, really honestly, the shock of what that director said to me was far greater than taking the hitting every night. I mean that was horrible, don’t get me wrong, but what made that so horrible was I didn’t know how to use my voice and I finally used it and I was smashed under the rug. And so that was a tough blow, to say the least I left that university, because the director and the situation was applauded and I was the problem. And I believe that we are not a problem, I believe far too many people live in the world believing they’re a problem and I believe we’re all an answer. And so, I left that University and had no idea even that my voice was so messed up when I got to the new University in the acting the head of the acting program said, “Good grief! You’re never going to make it if we don’t fix your voice. I was like what do you mean I’m an award-winning speaker, what’s wrong with my voice? I didn’t even realize until I got into the work but the work that I got into is muscle memory work which allowed me to release those experiences along with that voice. So, I think leaving that University was essential. I think if I had stayed there, there just was too much baggage and I think for years I resented the way that I was treated there and why that was allowed? Why that was okay? There’s something very wrong with that. But I fixed my voice I was successful as an actor and it was only years, not that long ago when it impacted me. Oh, my gosh, that’s my core, that’s the foundation for everything I do. And that allowed me to really have—that was the end of it that was the victory in it that was the silver lining of that really unbelievable experience it really is, it’s really unbelievable. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Thanks for sharing that I mean, that you have had the opportunity to really persevere and come out for the better is incredible. I know that you have a lot of things going on, you just moved to LA because you have a lot of clients that are actually in the Hollywood entertainment industry, you have you have your son that you’re taking care of a lot of things going on in regards to growing your business, but what are some of your goals? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: Well, one of my big goals for this year is to start live speaking again. I have not done that in many years because my son’s been my priority and he’s in such a great place now he’s doing so well and I’m really feeling led to speak live again, so that’s really big on the forefront. I’m working on really even growing my podcast, Captivate the Room, even more and I’m dabbling in creating some online programs to help even more people around the world rather than just—I predominantly work one-on-one right, those are the big things I’m working on right now. 

 

Jim Rembach:  And the Fast Leader Legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on let’s get a quick word from our sponsor:

 

The number one thing that contributes to customer loyalty is emotions. So, move onward and upward faster by gaining significantly deeper insight and understanding of your customer journey and personas with emotional intelligence. With your empathy mapping workshop you’ll learn how to evoke and influence the right customer emotions that generate improved customer loyalty and reduce your cost to operate. Get over your emotional hump now by going to empathymapping.com to learn more. 

 

Jim Rembach:  All right, here we go fast leader legion it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay Tracy, he Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Tracy Goodwin, are you ready to hoedown?

 

Tracy Goodwin: I think so. I’m nervous but I’m ready.

 

Jim Rembach:  Alright.  What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: Fear of rejection. 

 

Jim Rembach:  What is the best leadership advice you have ever received? 

 

Tracy Goodwin: Take a breath and start before you ready.

 

Jim Rembach:  What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

 

Tracy Goodwin:  Never give up. 

 

Jim Rembach:  What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Hmm-hmm, intuition and trusting self. 

 

Jim Rembach:  What would be one book, and it could be from any genre, that you recommend to our listeners? And of course we’ll put a link to your book on the show notes page as well.

 

Tracy Goodwin: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

 

Jim Rembach:  Okay, Fast Leader listeners you can find links to that and other bonus information from today’s show by going to fastleader.net/tracygoodwin. Okay, Tracy, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 25 and you have been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything back you can only choose one. What skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

 

Tracy Goodwin: That it all works out and you do not need to stress over it. That everything is going to be okay and just go with the flow because there’s a purpose and a reason for everything and you don’t need to control it. 

 

Jim Rembach:  Tracy it was an honor to spend time with you today. Can you please share with the Fast Leader Legion how they can connect with you?

 

Tracy Goodwin: Sure I loved being here. They can find me at captivatetheroom.com.

 

Jim Rembach:  Tracy Goodwin, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader Legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

 

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps links from every show special offers and access the download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster. 

 

END OF AUDIO 

 

 

106: Wendy Keller: I was not physically able to sit up

Wendy Keller Show Notes

Wendy Keller was not physically able to sit up because of the terrible injuries from the car accident that claimed the lives of her two young children. That’s when she decided to get involved with Tony Robbin’s Personal Power program. She did exactly those actions recommended in the program. Listen in as Wendy shares what happened.

Wendy was born in Chicago but lived all over the place.

When Wendy Keller was four, her dad took off. She didn’t see him again until she found him when she was 28.

When she was six, her mom remarried. Soon after, her parents joined an extreme Fundamentalist Christian cult. They believed, that the End Times were coming any day, and that women were made solely to serve men.

Despite this, when she was 10 she won a district-wide writing contest; at 11, she won her first sales contest; at 16, she graduated high school and began college. She got her dream job working at a newspaper and won a scholarship to attend Arizona State University.

After her scholarship ran out, she didn’t have enough money to stay. Her parents offered to pay for her education if she switched to the college her church ran in Pasadena, California. That’s where you went if you hoped to marry a minister. She had no such hope. She wanted to be a journalist.

After that college expelled her for claiming her love to a church outsider and labeling it as sexual misconduct, Wendy was devastated. But then, a few weeks later, a handsome guy whose girlfriend had recently declined his marriage proposal started talking to her. She married him less than a year later.

In time, they had two darling, beloved children: Jeremy Winston and Amelia Louise. Her marriage was suffering, but the kids were the focus of their life.

In 1989, Wendy started Keller Media, a literary agency, helping writers sell their book manuscripts to publishers. And in 1991, her family took a vacation to the London Book Fair. While driving down a little country road, her husband forgot to look both ways an intersection and was struck by a car at 65 kph. Amelia died instantly. Jeremy was taken off life support 3 days later. (read more: http://wendykeller.com/meet-Wendy/)

Ever since March 15, 1991, when the children died, Wendy has survived the grief of losing her children and her own horrendous injuries, giving birth again, surviving a divorce, a natural disaster, and a substance-abusing child. And she has persevered.

As of today, Wendy has personally taught +20,000 authors how to get published; and over 7,500 people how to get started as paid, professional speakers. Today, she is the author of 31 published books. She has been a featured guest on 53 television programs, has been a guest on +500 radio shows, and has been interviewed/quoted in hundreds of publications.

Wendy currently lives in Marina Del Ray, California.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @wendykeller to get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet 

“Everyone suffers at 100%.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet

“Everyone suffers their own losses at levels they’re capable.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Bad stuff happens to everybody.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“You can’t start something twenty years ago; just get started.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Get out there and start whacking weeds and forging your way.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“That first step is the enormous one, after that things get easier.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“We tend to want to take the easy fun part and blame others with the rest.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Do you want to grow or do you want to sit there and whine?” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Being reflective is a really important skill.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Usually we’re our own biggest obstacle.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Getting in front of people is how you get good at getting in front of people.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

“Not everyone can be coerced into a model that I would prefer.” -Wendy Keller Click to Tweet 

Hump to Get Over

Wendy Keller was not physically able to sit up because of the terrible injuries from the car accident that claimed the lives of her two young children. That’s when she decided to get involved with Tony Robbin’s Personal Power program. She did exactly those actions recommended in the program. Listen in as Wendy shares what happened.

Advice for others

Enroll yourself in a dance class. Take a comedy class. Sign up to speak.

Holding her back from being an even better leader

Time management strategies.

Best Leadership Advice Received

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes all the time. Show more compassion.

Secret to Success

I am a pitbull. You hold on until you get it.

Best tools that helps in Business or Life

My ability to learn anything new – technology, strategy, anything.

Recommended Reading

Ultimate Guide to Platform Building (Ultimate Series)

Web Copy That Sells: The Revolutionary Formula for Creating Killer Copy That Grabs Their Attention and Compels Them to Buy

Contacting Wendy

Website: http://www.kellermedia.com/

Website: http://wendykeller.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellermedia

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wendykeller

Resources and Show Mentions

54 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Competencies List: Emotional Intelligence has proven to be the right kind of intelligence to have if you want to move onward and upward faster. Get your free list today.

 

Show Transcript: 

Click to access edited transcript

106: Wendy Keller: I was not physically able to sit up

 Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we uncover the leadership like hat that help you to experience, break out performance faster and rocket to success. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

Need a powerful and entertaining way to ignite your next conference, retreat or team-building session? My keynote don’t include magic but they do have the power to help your attendees take a leap forward by putting emotional intelligence into their employee engagement, customer engagement and customer centric leadership practices. So bring the infotainment creativity the Fast Leader show to your next event and I’ll help your attendees get over the hump now. Go to beyondmorale.com/speaking to learn more.

 

Jim Rembach:    Okay Fast Leader Legion today I’m so excited because the person I have today on the show her story is absolutely awe inspiring. Wendy Keller was born and raised in Chicago but live all over the place. When Wendy was four her dad took off she didn’t see him again until she found him when she was 28. When she was six her mom remarried, soon after her parents joined in extreme fundamentalist Christian cult. They believe that the end of times were coming any day and that women were made solely to serve men. Despite this when she was 10 she won a district wide riding contest. At 11 she won her first sales contents. At 16 she graduated high school and begin college. She got her own dream job working in a newspaper and won a scholarship to attend Arizona State University. After her scholarship ran out she didn’t have enough money to stay her parent offered to pay her education if she switch to the college her church ran in Pasadena, California, that’s where you went if you hope to be a minister. She had no such hope, she wanted to be a journalist. After that College expelled her for claiming her love to a church outsider labeling it as sexual misconduct, Wendy was devastated. 

 

But then a few weeks later a handsome guy whose girlfriend had recently declined his marriage proposal started talking to her. She married him in less than a year. In time they had two darling beloved children, Jeremy Winston and Emilia Louise. Her marriage was suffering but the kids were the focus of their life. In 1989 Wendy started Keller Media, a literary agency helping writers to sell books and manuscripts to publishers. And in 1991   her family took a vacation to the London Book Fair. While driving down a little country road her husband forgot to look both ways at an intersection and the car was struck by another car traveling at 65 km/ph. Emilia died instantly, Jeremy was taken off life support three days later. Ever since March 15th 1991 when the children died Wendy has survived the grief of losing her children and her own horrendous injuries, giving birth again, surviving a divorce, a natural disaster, and a substance abusing child. And she has persevered. As of today, Wendy has personally taught over 20,000 authors how to get published and over 7,500 people how to get started as paid professional speakers. Today she is the author of 31 published books. She’s been a featured guest on 53 television programs and has been a guest on over 500 radio shows and has been interviewed, quoted in hundreds of publications. When currently lives in Marina del Rey, California. Wendy Keller are you ready to help us get over the hump? 

 

Wendy Keller:    You bet I am. Thanks for having me on the show.

 

Jim Rembach:    I’m glad you’re here. Now I’ve given our listeners a little bit about you but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Oh, my gosh! Jim, I have so many current passions. Whatever book I’ve got up for sale is my current passion. Whatever book I’m reading is my current passion, whatever book I’m writing next—I got a lot of passions. And I love ideas and I love information and I love learning new things in all different kinds of (3:36 inaudible)of my life. So I’m a lot like the people who take the time to listen to your excellent podcast. 

 

Jim Rembach:    I appreciate you sharing that. Reading and learning more about you as a person and that’s one of the things we really try to do in the Fast Leader show because I always tell my guess it’s not what you do that makes you great it’s who you are that makes what you do great, there’s a very distinct difference. 

 

Wendy Keller:    For sure agree with you. 

 

Jim Rembach:    And a lot of folks, they talk about one of the biggest phobias of all you know being public speaking and when I look at your bio and the things that you’ve been through I’d rather choose the public speaking route. But you’re an inspiration to a lot of folks. And when I start thinking about the barriers that are preventing people to move forward and get themselves out there build their platform, it makes me wonder when I think about your story, why? So, why do people struggle? 

 

Wendy Keller:    I think people interpret things differently. When I speak on overcoming adversity which is sort of tangential to what I do as an agent. I just gave a speech this week and I talked about—people think that the deaths of my children is so devastating that it would stop anyone in the tracks and I know that it does and it was devastating it was 20 billion times worse than anyone could ever imagine unless they’ve been through it and there’s just no way to describe it but here’s the perspective that I’ve adopted that has been part of my success I guess in functioning after that catastrophic loss and it is this: When I was six years old I had a hamster his name was Caesar because we were studying Roman history in school and after a while I was real busy with school and he wasn’t a novelty anymore and I unfortunately didn’t think he needed food and water every day I was a little kid and Caesar died. 

 

My mom explained why he died and I was absolutely devastated and so sorry and I felt so guilty and I was in such grief over the death of my hamster, and you know I’m 7 years old at that time and then my grandma died when I was nine and then other people died and then I started to learn these bad behaviors for handling loss. Like when my hamster died my mom said, “Oh, we’ll get you a new hamster, stop crying.” So, I started to pick up this bad behavior and by the time my children died there is no way to get new children, and you know the same ones or any things, and that burden was so heavy that I had to get some help to handle it. And so I went to professional people and grief counselors and started studying and I learned some strategies to help me get through such a devastating loss. 

 

But I will say this for anyone listening who’s facing any type of loss or challenge whether it’s divorce or something of the world thinks it’s minor like your dog died or your hamster died all the way to your children died which I admit is a quite significant loss in life but the difference is everyone suffers at a hundred percent. Everyone suffers their own losses at these level that they’re capable and here’s the difference in that, number one it allows you to be compassionate with yourself and number two it allows you to be compassionate with the world. And as soon as you recognize you’re not oh, so special because something bad happened to you and then the pretty much bad stuff happens to everybody, it changes your perspective and allows you to go forward in a powerful way. 

 

Jim Rembach:    It seems easy for a lot of people to probably kind of look through what all the things that you just said while you’re in it, it’s tough. 

 

Wendy Keller:    Oh, yeah. 

 

Jim Rembach:    And it doesn’t happen quickly. 

 

Wendy Keller:    No, no. 

 

Jim Rembach:    And when you’re needing that inspiration there’s a lot of places that you can go seek it and sometimes they’re incorrect. On the show we like quotes to help us find that inspiration and hopefully pull this out and pushes to particular directions that we need to go. Is there a quote or two that has influenced you that you can share?

 

Wendy Keller:    There are many quotes that influenced me and I’m kind of a quote junkie I guess because I use them to buoy myself. Right now I’m reading, The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks which is a book I returned to many, many times. But I would have to say that one of the quotes that has really been an inspiration personally, there’s another one that’s professionally inspirational but personally is the Lao Tzu quote, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” And when I look at the daunting things I overcome or try to overcome or the goals that I have it’s easy to go, “You know, I wish I had done this 20 years ago, but you can’t start something  20 years ago or I wish I didn’t have to go through this but you don’t have to get started because if you just sit down and feel sorry for yourself or just sit on the side of the road going, “I can’t believe I have to do this.” You’re` going to have all kinds of problems and you’re not going to make any progress you just got to get out there and start whacking just whacking the weeds and forging your way. I think of myself with a machete going through a dense jungle like, “Okay, I hate this, I’m scared there might be snakes or spiders or who knows what or tigers or whatever, you just got to get started and that first step is the enormous one and after that things start to get a little bit easier.

 

Jim Rembach:    It does get easier and it does take time and it is a journey. When we start going through those things oftentimes we have to get through it it’s a long distance away but there are humps, what a humps that we have to get over through our lives. 

 

Wendy Keller:    I don’t know if there are humps as much as Mount Everest.

 

Jim Rembach:    True. 

 

Wendy Keller:    And about the time you finish one and you’re going on the other side you’re like, “I’m going to do great, it’s all downhill for me this is awesome.” And then you see the next peak. I would say that people would say “Oh, it’s peaks and valleys” like well, no, it’s mostly peak after peak in my life.  

 

Jim Rembach:    That’s so true and like I was saying you’re just an amazing— 

 

Wendy Keller:    It’s just for a lot of people, I’m not unique in that at all.  A lot of people they get one—you know like that game that the kids play check or cheese in a whack-a-mole where you hit that poor little animal on the head and try and get the next one and they pop up randomly, and that’s owning a business, that’s being successful in your career, that’s personal life, that’s raising teenagers, there’s all parts to that and that’s just human life everybody suffers at a hundred percent. That’s really comforting quote if you really meditating and reflect on it. 

 

Jim Rembach:    So, when you think about one of those mountains that you’ve had to get over can you share that with us and the impact it had on you? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Well, obviously, the deaths of the children but I have discussed that. I think the one that is a universal experience is my divorce. So, my divorce was fall out from—you know, we weren’t really happy like you said in the intro, we weren’t really happy before the kids I wasn’t happy before the kids died, for other reasons and ironically my ex-husband and I are friends now. He comes to my house once a month for dinner with our child and whatever because we eventually had another baby, our daughter is now graduating college, but I think that one of the challenges in the way that have been able to overcome the divorce which is obviously very common thing, relationship breakup subsequent to that, is by taking time to put my emotions in let’s say box A and in box B sort of really sort through it looking for the ways that I contributed or did not ameliorate or extinguish a behavior that was negative. I have an excellent friend his name is Ford Sakes, he’s one of the intelligent, socially intelligent people I’ve ever met in my life he designs websites in Wichita Ford Sakes, really a powerful speaker also. 

 

One of the things I learned from him in our friendship is that, you know, he was in therapy for something we were talking about and the therapist said, “When you do this, this happens and it creates that result so you should try to stop doing this” and on that day he stopped doing it. When I got involved in Tony Robbins personal power program I listen to the cassettes, say how long ago that was, I was not physically able to sit up much less walk because the car accident that killed the children left me so devastated but I did exactly, verbatim, every single thing Tony said in those and I took exactly those actions and I looked at myself to see what limiting beliefs and thoughts I was using and what repetitive behaviors were resulting from those thoughts and I apply them 100% I was on Tony’s infomercial as one of his success stories for four years because I got the results. Most people go, “Oh, Wendy I want to be an author, oh, Wendy I want to be a speaker and I say. “Okay, here’s the first thing you need to do.” Well, I don’t-really—can I start somewhere else, “would it be okay if I did something else first because I don’t really want to do that. It’s a good idea I’m sure you’re right but—and it’s the same way when we’re dealing with major obstacles in our lives we tend to want to take the easy fun part and blame the spouse’s friend into the divorce or blame our children if they’re not behaving the way we want them to or circumstances for not getting the raise but you know when you turn that mirror on yourself you really give yourself a chance to see some powerful insights.

 

Jim Rembach:    Yeah, but sometimes we don’t want that mirror to be able to look back at us. 

 

Wendy Keller:    Tough luck. 

 

Jim Rembach:    That’s true. 

 

Wendy Keller:    You want to grow or you want to sit there and whine. I was talking to my friend, Mark Victor Hansen, he wrote the Chicken Soup for the soul series of his buddy Jack, Jack’s a client, and I was complaining to Mark about something I was really angry about. In my publishing life that wasn’t going well and Mark listen basically probably to half of lunch and then he finally put his fork and he look me right in the eye and I’ll never forget this moment it changed my life he said, “Do you want to keep talking about the problem because we can or you could start to think about the solutions.” I’m like, oh, my god, I’m so embarrassed. And he was right.

 

Jim Rembach:    And I think for what you just said right there that’s often one of those mountains that we have to continually get over. It’s just that whole issue around keeping and bring it up and look in the past and reflect and be nostalgic instead of—my eyes are pointing out they’re not pointing in. 

 

Wendy Keller:    That’s true. Being reflective is a really important skill I think. People who waste years in therapy are waiting for the therapist to reflect back to them things as opposed to, and I’m not thinking therapies obviously helped me too and has helped a lot of people, but learning to journal or learning to be reflective or learning to meditate those factors certainly helped me enormously in my life. And I think they help anyone, men in our culture, particularly American culture, are socialized not to be reflective and some people don’t have that natural propensity because it wasn’t modeled for them in their youth but what a difference it can make even it was just subject-specific. Those who are entrepreneurs or those who are trying to overcome something usually we’re our own biggest obstacle. 

 

Jim Rembach:    So, when you start thinking about you had mention off mic that you’re getting ready to publish a brand-new book can you agree to tell for us please?  

 

Wendy Keller:    My newest book just came out it’s called The Ultimate Guide to Platform Building. It came out a couple of weeks ago and it’s doing great. It’s based on the consulting I do helping people build an enthusiastic and positive audiences that like them like and like their content. Whether you want to be a speaker or an author, a consultant or a doctor, an attorney, whatever. So, I’m really having fun promoting that book. I love helping people see how easy it is to find their personality and then match the platform building skills to that, just like you’re doing Jim, with the podcast this is for you. You’re good at it, you got it set up you got over 100 podcast. That’s fantastic that’s an important platform but that’s available for anybody who’s willing to take that first. 

 

Jim Rembach:    I know that for a lot of people like when we started the episode we are mentioning how they don’t take that step forward, how they’re fearful, and how they don’t look at the things of life that could be more devastating and they allow public speaking and getting themselves out there to be something that blocks them. What are some of the different pieces of advice that you would give somebody who is in that position? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Number one, go to our website and take a free quiz. There’s a quiz there that’s in tandem to my new book it’s at kellermedia.com /bizquiz. Keller Media is my last name. Go there and take that quiz and you’ll find out whether or not you even should be speaking. There are people who should not be speakers but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t do a podcast or start your own radio show or you would be okay standing in your living room in front of a video camera and starting a branded YouTube channel. There are billions and billions of ways at this time in history to really build out your success, your platform. You don’t have to be a speaker if it’s not what you want to do but there are permutations. If you really want to be a speaker for some reason and you don’t want to do keynotes like most of my clients do like Les Brown or Jet Hay Lead or you know I represent a labyrinth of the past president of the National Speakers Association, you don’t have to do that. 

 

You could do lectures, you could do trainings, you could do workshops, and you could be like my chiropractor and do ten people a month on a Wednesday night in your office. You could teach a class you could do adjunct teaching there’s all kinds of ways to do it if you want to do that but the great thing is there’s so many ways to build a platform. So, if you’re sitting they’re going, you know, I’m a little nervous about public speaking and I’m terrified this would be the worst thing ever because you probably will suck. But if you’re thinking, gosh, I’m a little bit nervous there are three things you can do right now that would make a difference in your ability to move forward as a public speaker. Number one is enroll yourself in a dance class. Performers have similar energy and speakers are performer energy. Enroll yourself in dance class, it’s not disco dancing where you’re dancing by yourself but dancing like waltzing and ballroom dancing or even a dance class like a jazz dance that’s where you’re dancing with the group even though you may not be touching one another that’s really important. If you don’t feel comfortable with that make the decision to take a comedy class. Every city in America probably has a comedy workshop, sign up for a comedy workshop even if it’s just a few weeks this will allow you to get out of yourself and move into a bigger space with your own sense of self. It’ll teach you to think on your feet if that’s not a natural aptitude for you. And if you don’t want to do dance and don’t want to do comedy other thing for you to do is sign up to speak. So, find a place that’s willing to bring you in, have it be at least a couple months from now weeks at the most at least a month or more from now would be ideal. And whether you’re going to give a lecture to the Ladies Auxiliary gardening club or you’re going to go be a guest lecturer at the local junior college it doesn’t matter that will force you, if you’re like me especially if you’re a deadline-driven person, it will force you to have something ready and do the best job you can and to find out if this is really the right destiny for you. Getting in front of people is how you get good at getting in front of people.

 

Jim Rembach:    Definitely practice and putting yourself out there. 

 

Wendy Keller:    Prepare and practice, yeah. 

 

Jim Rembach:    Makes it easier. So, when you started talking about the new book and all the work that you’re doing and all the clients that you’re representing, you talked about your daughter graduation in college, you got a lot of things going on and you always have a lot of things going on as you said, but if you think about all those things, what’s one of your goals?

 

Wendy Keller:    Oh, goal, personally or professionally? 

 

Jim Rembach:    Whichever comes to mind 

 

Wendy Keller:    Well I would say that my primary professional goal right now is to transition from the—the work we do—we represent a lot of brand-new authors, up-and-coming authors, I find that I have more value to give the world than just selling another 5 or 10 ten-thousand-dollar book. I have a lot of big clients but I also have this sense of service and responsibility because I have had the honor of 17 New York Times bestsellers—and so I’ve tried to sell smaller clients like, you know, at the $10, 000 level, and help them, grow themselves into becoming $100,000 clients where I’m actually making enough money to make it worth my time. I have that coterie but the majority of authors at this time in history are $10,000 or less. 

 

And so I don’t want to sell as many of those I want to use the platform book to really help people understand how a book is a component of a successful business marketing strategy not how it’s the only thing, I know your mom’s going to be real proud of you, but I don’t care unless I’m getting paid and you shouldn’t either. So I can teach you how to use a book to really grow your business, whatever your business is it doesn’t even matter what you want to do, you could be a dentist and I can show you how to use a book, publish yourself or self-published whatever to grow platform because that’s when passionate about. But I need to get out of doing the ten-thousand-dollar books we sold a bunch of those this year and it’s not helpful because the authors are not cute queued to be successful, so I’m actually hurting them by doing that and I feel I need to take responsibility. Unless they have a growing platform of fans they should not be doing a book and they as sure as heck should not be self-publishing. So, that’s a big important professional goal that I have this year. And my personal goal really this year includes taking better care of my mom. She’s getting older and it is time for me to step up as the oldest and as the only female child. 

 

Jim Rembach:    And the Fast Leader Legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on, let’s get a quick word from our sponsor. 

 

The number one thing that contributes to customer loyalty is emotions. So, move onward and upward faster by getting significantly deeper insight and understanding of your customer journey and personas with emotional intelligence. With your empathy mapping workshop you learn how to evoke and influence the right customer emotions that generate improved customer loyalty and reduce your cost to operate. Get over your emotional hump now by going to empathymapping.com learn more. 

 

Alright here we go Fast Leader Legion it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay, Wendy, the Hump Day Hoedown is a part of our show where you give us good insights fast so I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us a robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Wendy Keller, are you ready to hoedown?  

 

Wendy Keller:    Yes, I am. 

 

Jim Rembach:    Alright. What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today?  

 

Wendy Keller:    Time management strategies. 

 

Jim Rembach:    What is the best leadership advice you have ever received? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Put yourself in the other person’s shoes every single time. Show more compassion.

 

Jim Rembach:    What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success? 

 

Wendy Keller:    I am a pitbull. If you like it, you want it, you take it, you put in your mouth and you hold on until you get it. 

 

Jim Rembach:    What do you feel is one of the best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

 

Wendy Keller:    My absolute ability to learn anything new, technology, strategy, anything, I’m ready to learn. 

 

Jim Rembach:    What would be one book, other than your own of course and you several of those, that you would recommend to our listeners? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Web Copy That Sells by Maria Veloso, she happens to be our client but it is the best book on how to write any type of copy web or otherwise its focus on the other person’s actual needs. 

 

Jim Rembach:    Ok, Fast Leader listeners, you can find links to that and other bonus information from today’s show by going to fastleader.net/wendykeller. Okay, Wendy this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question? Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 25 and you’ve been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything you can only choose one, what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Thank you for that question. I would take back the ability to be humble and not only learn but also treat other people more kindly. Other people have gifts differing and I need to realize that not everyone can be coerced into a model that I would prefer. 

 

Jim Rembach:    Wendy, it was an honor to spend time with you today, can you please share with the Fast Leader Legion how they can connect with you? 

 

Wendy Keller:    Great sure. We’re at kellermedia.com, stop on by. And if you are experiencing an emotional problem or challenge that you would like to connect with me, that’s under my eponymous website wendykeller.com. 

 

Jim Rembach:    Wendy Keller thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader Legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

 

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show, special offers and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster. 

 

END OF AUDIO

 

028: Lance Miller: I’m emotionally and spiritually dead

Lance Miller Show Notes

Lance Miller thought he had a life plan set in front of him. As the third generation in a family business Lance was all set. But then he found himself looking in the mirror one morning thinking he was emotionally and spiritually dead. It was then he realized that he needed to get away and figure his life out. Listen to Lance tell his story and some valuable lessons so you can get over the hump.

Lance Miller is a graduate of Michigan State University with a degree in Food Systems, Economics and Management.  He began working as a teenager in his family’s milk and ice cream company in Indiana, learning real life lessons while working in the processing plant, running delivery routes and managing retail stores. He gained valuable experience in understanding the importance of hard work and service in handling both employees and customers.

He has held sales and management positions with the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Organizing Committee, Nestle, Anheuser Bush and Katz Media Group. For 15 years he developed and managed sales and marketing programs for businesses in the fields of Law, Construction, International Finance, Alternative Health and the Internet. He has also key leadership roles in completing 5 new business start-ups and product launches.

He has traveled extensively and has held leadership positions forwarding numerous international Humanitarian causes.

In the early 1990’s he was a Founding Member of The Fair Tax Initiative and debated federal tax policy on over 300 radio and TV shows and scores of community forums.

He served as Vice-President of the International Foundation for Human Rights and Tolerance where he organized and led International Human Rights Marathons in the U.S and Europe covering over 10,000 miles in over 15 countries.

He served as the President of The Way to Happiness Foundation International. The Foundation delivers programs in 94 languages and 100 countries teaching universal character and ethics principles to assists individuals and organizations around the world by creating values of trust, honesty and responsibility.

In addition to an extensive business background, he has sat atop 14,000 ft. peaks, rafted some of the roughest whitewater in U.S., sailed transatlantic from the Virgin Islands to Norway, piloted his own aircraft hundreds of hours from Northern Michigan to the tip of Key West, scuba dived under the ice of frozen lakes in the dead of winter and twice hitchhiked through Europe.

Lance is a member of Rotary International and Toastmasters International. He is a Distinguished Toastmaster and in 2005 he emerged from a field of over 30,000 contestants from more than 100 countries to win the title of the World Champion of Public Speaking and over the last 25 years he has delivered more than 4,000 presentations in over 50 countries.

His real life experience brings fun, lively and entertaining presentations to the podium. Lessons of leadership, integrity, responsibility and honesty are the Hallmark of his messages.

Lance currently lives in Los Angeles with Kathleen.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen and @LanceSpeaks will help you get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“I was capable of a lot more than I ever realized I was.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“As long as I stay on my purpose in life things work out.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“The good Lord doesn’t give you youth and wisdom at the same time.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“There’s a big difference between being smart and wise.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Integrity is always doing what you promise and wisdom is knowing what to promise.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“You know it’s true when it happens to you.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Good judgement comes from experience and a lot of experience comes from bad judgement.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Embrace the experience you had and learn from it. Don’t get hung up on the win or loss.” -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“I’m not going to live my life for 40 years in a job I don’t like.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“You’re gaining wisdom as you live your life.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“If you are in a situation that is not good, look at what you are benefitting.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“As soon as you can, you need to be true to your core purpose.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Get on that dream or purpose you have as soon as you can.“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Anybody can fire a man, that doesn’t take any special skill or talent. Can you get them to work?“ -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“Each one of us needs to find what is right for us.” -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“If I’m not succeeding enough it’s because I’m not failing enough.” -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

“If I’m not winning enough it’s because I’m not losing enough.” -Lance Miller Click to Tweet

Hump to Get Over

Lance Miller thought he had a life plan set in front of him. As the third generation in a family business Lance was all set. But then he found himself looking in the mirror one morning thinking he was emotionally and spiritually dead. It was then he realized that he needed to get away and figure his life out. Lance decided to move to Los Angeles and set a new path. Listen to Lance tell his story and some valuable lessons so you can learn how to move onward and upward faster.

Advice for others

If you are in a situation that is not good, look at what you are benefitting. As soon as you can, you need to be true to your core purpose. Don’t delay it, do it now.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

A current failed business start-up has drained my resources and I’m trying to build my base back up.

Best Leadership Advice Received

Anybody can fire a man, that doesn’t take any special skill or talent. Can you get them to work?

Secret to Success

Being able to laugh. Being able to glean the silver lining in life’s lessons.

Best Resources in business or Life

Hands on experience and the mentors I have had. And reading and learning.

Recommended Reading

Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage

Contacting Lance

Website: www.LanceMillerSpeaks.com

Linkedinhttps://www.linkedin.com/pub/lance-miller/3/416/955

email: lance@lancemillerspeaks.com

More Resources

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028: Lance Miller: I’m emotionally and spiritually dead

 

Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we uncover the leadership like hat that help you to experience, break out performance faster and rocket to success. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

 

Jim Rembach: Okay Fast Leader legion, I am really excited to share with you the person who I have on the show today because he’s one of those folks where you would say, “Gosh, how was he been able to do all the things he’s done?” “Well, he’s old, of course.” Lance Miller is a graduate of Michigan State University with a degree in Food Systems, Economics and Management. He began working as a teenager and his family’s milk and ice cream company learning life lessons while working in the processing plant, running delivery routes, managing retail stores, and he gained valuable experiences in understanding the importance of hard work and service in handling both employees and customers.

 

Lance has held sales and management positions with the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Organizing Committee, Nestlé, Anheuser-Busch, and Katz Media Group. For 15 years he developed and managed sales and marketing programs for businesses in the fields of law, construction, international finance, alternative health and the Internet. He has also held key leadership roles in completing five new business startups and product launches. He has traveled extensively and has held leadership positions forwarding numerous international humanitarian causes.

 

In the early 1990’s he was a founding member of the Fair Tax Initiative and debated federal tax policy on over 300 radio and TV shows and scores of community forums. He has served as Vice President of the International Foundation for Human Rights and Tolerance where he organized and led international human rights marathons in the US and Europe covering over 10,000 miles and over 15 countries.

 

He served as the President of The Way to Happiness Foundation International. The foundation delivers programs in 94 languages in 100 countries teaching universal characteristics and ethics principles to assist individuals and organizations around the world by creating values of trust, honesty and responsibility. In addition to an extensive business background he has at the top 14,000 foot peaks, rafted some of the roughest whitewater in the US. Sail Transatlantic from the Virgin Islands to Norway and piloted his own aircraft, scuba-dived under the ice of frozen lakes in the dead of winter and twice hitchhiked throughout Europe. 

 

Lance is a member of Rotary international and Toast Master International. He is a distinguished Toast Master. In 2005, he emerged from the field of over 30,000 contestants from more than 100 countries to win the title of world champion of public speaking. And over the last 25 years, he has delivered more than 4,000 presentations in over 50 countries. Lance currently resides in Los Angeles with his wife Kathleen. Lance Miller are you ready to help us get over the hump?

 

Lance Miller:    After an introduction like that I hope I can. Thank you, Jim.

 

Jim Rembach:     You’re going to have to because like I said that’s so extensive. I was just kidding on the age thing, I mean, you’re still a young man you got a lot to do. I’ve shared with our guests quite a bit about you but can you tell us which are current passion is so we can get to know you even better?

 

Lance Miller:     My current passion is really helping people to rediscover what I found in my own life which was I was capable of a lot more than I ever realized I was. And I was figuring out how to get out of my own way and also tap into those skills, those passions, those convictions that I had. Where did I really live as a core being? And what I really learned in life, as long as I stay on my purpose in life things will work out but it’s so easy to get off on somebody else’s purpose and you wind up stuck in a ditch with the wheels spinning. 

 

And what I really try to do is inspire people, to ignite in them what their core beliefs are, and what their true story in their life is and that was a long journey for me and I try to shorten it for them by taking them to the process that I went through. I do that through public speaking, through seminar training, through one-on-one coaching. 

 

Jim Rembach:     And that’s really one of the things that we focus here as well on the Fast Leader Show, is that life experiences teach us a ton. And if we get the opportunity to share those stories it is quite possible that someone will be able to take those and better their own life so that they don’t necessarily repeat some of the same mistakes that we have made and therefore they can move onward and upward faster, so, I appreciate all the work you’re doing and glad you’re here on the show. 

 

When you start talking about some of the things that you’ve been able to accomplish there has to be a boldness there and risk-taking there that a lot of people may just be so afraid overcome like you were saying, and we need inspiration in order to help us and give us that push sometimes. A lot of time we focus on quotes on the Fast Leader Show, is there a quote or two that inspires you to push forward?

 

Lance Miller:    There’s a number of quotes that I have. I have a very good mentor—we were talking in my intro that I work in my family’s milk and ice cream business. I came out of college and that’s why I had a degree in Food Systems Economics and Management because my life plan was to be in that business as a third-generation heir apparent to that company. My grandfather started, my father had carried it on since—my grandfather started 1926, my father had taken it on. I came out and was planning on booming in and expanding and having a tremendous successful career there. But I had a mentor, he was an older gentleman named Oscar, and Oscar’s one of these guys that graduated from maybe the eighth grade. But since he didn’t have a formal education he looked at life every day and figure out what did he learn today could apply it tomorrow. He was about 60 when I got out of college and as I was about 22, 23 when I came back but he’d known me since I was an infant.

 

One of the thing he used to say, “I’d screwed something I’m afraid, I do make some mistakes, some ridiculously inexperienced [Laugh] mess,” and he pat me on the back and he would say, “The good Lord doesn’t give you youth and wisdom at the same time.” And then he would wink and he’d say, “You should enjoy each while you got them.” I didn’t like hearing that. When I was 23, 24 years old I thought I was pretty smart and to be honest I was smart but I wasn’t wise and there’s a big difference between being smart and wise. 

 

And I heard another quote from President of Rotary about five or six years ago he said the, “The difference between integrity and wisdom is integrity is always doing what you promise and wisdom is knowing what to promise.” [Laugh] And I think that’s true, we get wisdom by walking in the face of this earth and by living that life experience and having that empirical knowledge of having experienced it. And once you’ve done that—I had another uncle who was a test pilot at Edwards Air Force Base was [6:56 inaudible] or back and highlighted a space race and everything and he always says, “You know it’s true when it happens to you.” And those are a couple of quotes that keep me moving.

 

And just on that, another thing I’ve learned to live by, was another quote I love that I use all the time is: “Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of experience comes from bad judgment.” And it’s really the ability to embrace the experience that you had and learn from it and not get hung up on the loss of it.  That was one quote there was a handful of them. 

 

Jim Rembach:    That was and they are all awesome and just to let all of our listeners know one of the things that we do at the Fast Leader show is we go through and we pull all these quotes and we put them on our show notes page. And you’ll be able to find many of the quotes from this particular episode at fastleader.net/Lance Miller. So, Lance I know that, like you are saying with you being bold, taking risk, having the family business all the things that you’ve done—moving away from the family and living in a garage with some friends in Los Angeles to break out and, do some new things and some adventurous things, is that we’ve had to learn and go through and have those mistakes. 

 

We talked about getting over the hump on the Fast Leader show and we have epiphanies from those, sometimes they’re pretty immediate and sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in, but can you think of a story or a time where you’ve had a hump to get over and set you in a different direction than you are heading?

 

Lance Miller:     The first one you’re talking about was thinking at a life plan set in front of you and then—especially with the closeness of the family business and a third-generation family business. Anybody’s who has grown up on either family farm or family business knows the almost, I would say congenital or inherent commitment that you grew up with on sustaining that because any family member whose running it that is their life. And so, you grow up and that to break out of that was a huge pivotal moment for me. And what I really had to look at was that the fact that this was my life and I needed to be able to figure out what that was. And at that time I was living in a family who is very—not controlled in a bad way just that my grandfather, my father were there, it was a very controlled environment on their goals and purposes that they’ve been living through their lives and I was a young guy without the experience and I was trying to learn and do the right thing but I wasn’t feeling the fulfillment.

I remember just looking in the mirror one morning saying, “I am emotionally and spiritually dead, I need to get away from here and figure my life out” and I wound up in LA. 

 

I’d a couple of fraternity brothers from college, Michigan State, that has a house in Manhattan Beach and they said, “We got a loft over the garage, you can stay there if you want.” We pulled the suitcases out of loft and I got carpet remnant and put some drywall up and there’s a cools room in the house and I had $20 as rent living at the beach, which is great because I never had to pay rent the I moved to California because I was either living at home or with my grandfather. That was a huge pivotal moment and I remember it’s very scary to leave that security,  and it was a very financially secure situation for me because I wasn’t earning that much money but I was netting a ton because I didn’t have any expenses because of the family support that I had around me. I remember the first time I moved to L.A. I had to pay for an oil change, I never have to do that and it was like, “What I got to pay to get an oil change in my car?” It was just I was stuck as getting nickel and dime. But that was a huge adjustment because quite honestly I thought once I got a way that everything would clear for me and I wouldn’t have any stops or barriers in front and just be able to succeed like crazy. 

 

I had a great time working for the Olympics, I wish I could continue to do that full time that was very much the type thing I want to do. A life-changing experience working on a project that was huge and all-encompassing worldwide. The uplifting aspects of it, the benefit we were doing to mankind, the bringing people from different cultures and races and nationalities and religions together and all competing together and doing it in a peaceful caring manner it’s truly a life-changing experience for me.

 

 I left that, I’ve been able to get very good jobs I was able to get them. I went into Nestlé and brand management which is something that typically MBA’s only get. I had a contact, I’ve set up a lunch one that get in the job I spend a couple of years at Nestlé and I was expecting to be fast-tracked and thought I was brilliant and everything. I learned how Fortune 50 companies work and I spent a year and half and then I was at Anheuser-Busch and sports morphing which is a lot of fun. I wasn’t really going anywhere but I got to wear a lot of cool shirts and drink a lot of beer, and when you’re in your mid-20’s it was cool but I’m not achieving, I’m not moving like I want. I have a lot of friends installing media, Katz Media Group is one of the largest media sales companies in the United States and I was able to get in with the company that they had just acquired and they had some problems with it. 

 

And again I have I learned something about going with the winning company or a losing company it was a company they had bought that was selling radio but I’ve got to learn how Nielsen works, I’ve got to learn how Arbitron works and I’d call on the major advertising agencies in Los Angeles it was my first sales job, I had a window office on Wilshire Boulevard, I was earning more money that I had ever earned before and I was miserable. This comes down to a specific moment, I was driving to work and it was about 6 o’clock in the morning and I gone through several stoplights that were green and I had a red light and I’m sitting there by myself the radio is off and I was relieved to hit the red light and I look back I remember ever time I went through a green light I was disappointed I want to hit a red light. You have a thought in 

the back of your mind that you don’t realize it’s there and I sat at that red light looking at it going, why don’t I want to hit red lights? And I also realize I had a thought that I wish somebody would just come running to me that day and have a car accident so I don’t have to go to work. [Laugh] And I sat there and I said, “I don’t like what I’m doing I’m not happy at all, I’m going in here based on somebody else’s dream or purpose and I have no idea why I’m doing what I’m doing.” And I just said, “I’m not going to live my life wanting to hit red lights, wanting to stop, wanting to have something prevent me, I want to get up every morning and be excited to do what I’m going to do and I had no idea what that was. 

 

I went in and talk to my boss and I’d be honest I wasn’t doing great on the job. I didn’t do great in the Fortune 50, the large corporation environments, but it was invaluable experience to have. It was very difficult besides when I came out of that I did feel like I wasn’t as able as a lot of my peers because they seem to be able to succeed in it and I didn’t. I discovered I don’t do well in a cubicle. I need a lot of space, I need a lot of freedom, I’m more of a pioneer type person and that comes from that entrepreneurial family that I came out of. And so, I left, I left that business I turned it over trained another replacement for myself for about five weeks. 

 

I left I’d no idea what I was going to do but I started getting up every morning and trying to figure it out. I’m now going to let you talk, I can talk for a long time, but that was the pivotal moment for me. And I’d be honest here is my viewpoint, I’ve had four jobs since leaving my family, the Olympics, Nestlé, Anheuser-Busch, Katz media group, I’m either going to win or die in the attempt to figure out what it is but I’m not going to live my life for 40 years in a job I don’t like, so that I can have a couple weeks off here and do what I want. 

 

Jim Rembach:   You and I had the opportunity to speak before the interview and you shared with me something that I can connect with very much and I suspect that there’s a lot of our legion that would connect with it as well and that you said that when you started working in the corporate world, and I’m sure some of the whole nature and nurture thing with the whole launch counter spirit in your family, but you felt like slowly over time the life was getting sucked out of you and that your different thinking and your differences weren’t appreciated even though they may say that that’s what they wanted. If there was a piece of advice that you would give to our Fast Leader legion from that story and you going through that epiphany that took a while, what would it be?

 

Lance Miller:      I think it’s two sides. One of them, looking back in your life it’s beautiful, it’s 20/20, yeah, wouldn’t I like to be 26, 27, and 28 years old with the knowledge that I have now in my mid 50’s but we don’t get that. And I said to good the Lord doesn’t give you youth and wisdom at the same time and so you have to realize that you’re gaining wisdom as you live your life. But one the of things is, as you said, if you’re in a situation that’s not a good situation, what I would advise people is look at what you’re benefiting because you’re learning something invaluable at that point. 

 

I look back on that 45 year period that I was in the Fortune 50 environment, as critical knowledge I needed for life. Yeah, it wasn’t that enjoyable and we were talking about most of the people were MBA’s, they had a mentality that you needed to have the schooling. I had a college degree but I had more empirical business experience with dealing with independent grocers and farmers and difficult of employees and I said we are to attempts to unionized you company, we have attorney’s, we had legal battles, we had a fight, I have a lot more hands-on on empirical management experience than a lot of the people I was working with that were even five or six or seven years older than I was in that environment. 

 

The first one is understand your learning valuable information even if that information is what you don’t like or what not to do, that’s very valuable in life. The second one is, as soon as you can you need to be true to your core purpose, your core sense of what you want to do in life and I was sort of in a viewpoint that I needed to gain more experience before I could be on my own and do what I want. As I look back on it I could’ve started doing what I wanted immediately, and there was going to be a run, there was going to be some road to travel but don’t delay that, get on that thing that dream you have that purpose you have as soon as you can. Maybe you have to work at McDonald’s, flipping burgers to pay for it but you need to be doing that in your life.

 

Jim Rembach:      I appreciate that and appreciate you sharing that. Now, I know you have a lot of things going on. You talked about several startups, you talked about all of your speaking and all of your travel but if you’re to say that there was one thing that really is just giving you a lot of energy and passion, what would it be?

 

Lance Miller:    I think the biggest thing is I like to see people win and I had my own struggle with trying to really feel that sense of fulfillment. And if I’m doing a startup, what I love to do is win, you get the team winning. And we’re talking about leadership, we’re talking about accomplishing something. It’s so easy to get stuck in the day-to-day treadmill, stuck in the rut of life where you just feel like you’re digging some unknown ditch, you just keep shoveling. What I love to see is to see people accomplish their dreams and see this twinkle in their eyes and the spark of life.

 

As I look back again all those experiences were invaluable experiences that have put me in the position I’m in today and I wouldn’t trade that path for anything even though it was tough while I was going through it. 

 

Jim Rembach:     The Fast Leader legion wishes you the very best.  Alright, now it’s time for the—Hump Day Hoedown. Okay, Lance, the Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. So, I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Lance Miller are you ready to hoedown?

 

Lance Miller:     Let’s get the fiddle up there on the hay bell and you go, okay? 

 

Jim Rembach:     Alright. So, what do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today? 

Lance Miller:    I talked about taking your lumps and moving forward with  everything you do but everything you do has a consequence in it. I’ve done five successful business start-ups the thing that has impeded me from really taking up where want to right now is that I had, in the last five years, I had one that was not successful. And quite honestly, it was a huge drain on resources, time, commitment and I just was able to cut the tie on that about a year and a half ago. One of the things that you need in life to succeed is a banking account. Quite simply, you need to be able to invest in your service activities, and that’s the thing I’m working on right now. And the biggest thing that hit me was I did do a program, I did do a startup, had it gone, my share of it was $30-$40 million. It was a huge launch, it was an environmental company and I can tell you a whole series of things why that failed but when it failed it put me in a bad position financially. And right now I’m building that base back so I have enough firm ground to stand on that was a huge life lesson that I learned in the process of it. But the biggest thing that’s been preventing me from moving forward is having the available capital to put into the services I want to establish the things I want, I’m just now, I’m building at that right now.

 

Jim Rembach:     What is the best leadership advice you’ve ever received?

 

Lance Miller:     The best leadership advice I’ve ever received came from Oscar, who I’ve shown you about earlier in the show, my mentor, and it came after the first time I fired a man. I was 23 years old I was acting pretty cocky and Oscar got up from his desk and looked at me and he said, “Did you fire him?” and I said, “Yeah, I did.” And he goes, “Well, Lance anybody can fire man that doesn’t take any special skill or talent, can you get them to work? Now, that takes a manager.” And he walked out the door. What I realized, as a leader it’s really our responsibility to get our juniors to work and to get them to succeed and get them to be competent at what they’re doing and anybody can go kick some in the butt, anybody can cut their head off, kick them out the door that doesn’t take any special skill or talent. That’s what I wanted to do and it took me never a number of years to develop that skills to take people and get them to function as they should, but that was a pivotal moment in my life.

 

Jim Rembach:     What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success? 

 

Lance Miller:     One of the secrets to my success is being able to laugh. Quite honestly, no matter what happens be able to laugh at it and be able to glean from my biggest failures the silver lining of the lesson. That didn’t come easy. I accumulated a lot of baggage, I accumulated a lot of failures and quite honestly it was all the speech competition I did in Toastmaster where I competed in the speech content for 13 years and finally I had an epiphany one night that it was going to be pretty hard to learn from my mistakes if I was unwilling to admit that I was making any. And when I was willing to admit that I was making mistakes and I had room to grow that’s where it opened up for me in my life. I was able to go back and a lot of mistakes I’ve made in my life and find the lesson rather than looking at the loss. 

 

Jim Rembach:     What do you feel is one of your best resources that helps you lead in business or life?

Lance Miller:     Probably one of my best resources, it comes from two things, it comes from hands-on experience that I’ve had and the mentors I’ve had around me. I also believe in reading and in the learning. You need to find something that really resonates with you and you find is true for you and your process of it. There’s a lot of people out there and I really feel that each one just needs to find what is what right for us. And one of the biggest resources I’ve had is actually a tremendous amount of management work put together by a man named Laurent Robert who has some of the most sane management systems that I’ve ever studied, and I studied those extensively and that’s giving me—whenever I have a problem I can go to his writings and find the solution there’s something that spurs on my thinking from that standpoint.  ** has been a controversial man in society for number of reasons but I have also learned in the process of that is, if you want to know something go look at yourself and don’t listen to what you hear on the radio or TV and observe for yourself and see if it’s true for yourselves. 

 

What would be one book that you would recommend to our listeners? It doesn’t have to be business book. 

 

Lance Miller:     I’d tell you the book I’d recommend it’s a book called, Endurance. It’s about Ernest Shackleton’s failed attempt to across Antarctica in 1914. A book that truly changed my life because—just a short story behind that, I attended at age of 14 I attended the Telluride Mountaineering in  leadership school it was an outward bound program which I talked my parents into sending me out to. We learned technical climbing—how to slide down snow fields and arrest ourselves how to raft rivers and navigate to the mountains. One night around a campfire, the director of the camps said, the best book he’d ever read in his life was a book called Endurance, that’s all I remember, twenty years later I went to the library got the book.

 

Shackleton was almost got to South Pole, Amundsen got it year later, Shackleton came up on the hundred miles, and he almost went down in history as the guy that got to South Pole. And he wanted to make his mark in history so he was going to be the first person to do a transcontinental exploration of Antarctica, this is equivalent to Lewis and Clark exhibition it was huge. With 28 man on a ship called Endurance who’s going to Antarctica, he got within 80 miles of the shore where he’s going to be dropped off. The ship gets stuck in the ice and it’s down there for two years, it gets crushed, they move out on the ice, they have three lifeboats and 22 months later he winds up saving all 28 men. It’s the most horrific, heroic story of survival and overcoming any obstacle in your path that I’ve ever read. There had been so many times that I felt that my life had just hit the dirt and was not worth anything and I could look at Shackleton’s experience, and you know what? At least I’m not stuck in the ice in Antarctica. [Laugh] I got a lot of positive things to be thankful for, it could be a lot worse. That’s the book I will highly recommend you read.

 

Jim Rembach:     Well, we’re going to make a link to that and other things like we mentioned before on our show notes page and you’ll be able to find that at fastleader.net/Lance Miller. Okay Lance, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you are given the opportunity to go back to the age 25 and you’ve been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you, but you can’t take everything you can only choose one, what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you? And why?

 

Lance Miller:     Wow, what skill or knowledge would I take back with me and why. I think the piece of skill or knowledge I would take back is I said, good judgment comes from experience and a lot of experience comes from bad judgment. And it was the skill or knowledge to embrace my mistakes, embrace my failures with as much fever and enthusiasm as I embraced my successes and realize it is all part of the process. One of the things I’ve learned in life, if I’m not succeeding enough it’s because I’m not failing enough. If I’m not winning enough it’s because I’m not losing enough. I really got hung up for a number of years in my—what I thought we’re my failures and it was just pure life experience but I viewed as failures. And I would’ve liked to have kept that twinkle in my eye early in my life that I got back when was really able to embrace the knowledge that I had gained through the experiences that I had. 

 

Jim Rembach:     Lance it was an honor to spend time with you today. Can you please share with the Fast Leader legion how they can connect with you?

 

The easiest way is to go to my website, which is lancemillerspeaks.com, and by the way, I have a brand-new site that I’m coming out with, at this recording it should be up in about 30 days and I’m very excited about, because I have just a ton of content I’ve been wanting to put on the web for people access and I haven’t had—again because of that business situation I got into—I hadn’t had the resources to build the site up that I wanted. I been working on this for the last six months we get this put together to really have that platform in place that I could put the training and the interviews, like were doing, the experiences that I’ve had, the coaching all of the things I want to on both communication and leadership and just basic success on that. 

 

So, that will be up in probably within 5 days, I will say the end of August 2016, depending when you’re listening to this, lancemillerspeaks.com, you have all my contact information on there. And quite honestly, I really love getting out and energizing groups, and energizing people to win in a group. No man is an island as I say, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. Life is lived in a group setting and we had to learn to work together in businesses and families and communities and have that alignment behind things. That’s where I really love to help bring people together and realize how to get along and how to win together.

 

Jim Rembach:   Lance Miller, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

 

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show, special offers and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster.

 

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