millennials Archives - Customer Experience Podcast

186: Danita Bye: This is not about complaining – it’s about doing

Danita Bye Show Notes Page

Danita Bye and her husband decided to buy a snowmobile sleigh manufacturing company. Then El Niño moved in and stayed for three years. Danita was angry at everyone. Then a mentor told her to stop playing the blame game. That’s when she developed the catalyst question.

Danita grew up on the TTT Ranch in northwestern North Dakota. 800 square foot house with no running water! This means that she used an outdoor biffy daily and a took a Finnish sauna weekly. The sauna was located about a football field away from their house. Great in the summer time. Not quite as fun in the winter time when it was 30 below and the wind was howling at 30MPH! FYI: Currently it’s offer one of the finest hunting preserves for pheasants in the nation!

Her parents have been married almost 60 years. She has one younger sister and two younger brothers.

Her parents continue to make a huge imprint on her life. They are entrepreneurs who figured out how to not only survive, but thrive in homestead country. So, Danita is an entrepreneur. They are intent on stewarding their gifts of encouragement and hospitality, especially to young adults. So, Danita is focused on building next gen leaders.

After completing a pre-med degree, she decided to shift directions and move into the business world. She started her career with Xerox Corporation in sales. After about a decade in the technology space, she became an angel investor and part of a turnaround management team in the medical device world.

Having sold that company, she analyzed what she got a kick out of doing. She decided she loved helping business owners in the STEM space (Software, Technology, Engineering, Manufacturing) get traction with the sales teams. So, she started her own sales development firm, Sales Growth Specialists.

Her current book, Millennials Matter: Proven Strategies for Building Your Next Gen Leader, is part of her legacy – to inspire and encourage senior leaders to STOP complaining about Millennials, and to START coaching and mentoring them. To inspire them to be intentional about the imprint of their Leadership Legacy.

After living for 30 years in Minneapolis, she moved back to the ranch in North Dakota about 4 years ago. She operates a global sales development and global leadership firm, overlooking the beauty of a pristine animal preserve.

She’s been married to Gordon for 33 years. Has 3 Millennial children. 2 delightful grandchildren…with one more on the way.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @DanitaBye to get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“They look mature, but they haven’t gone through all the trips, falls, and crashes that we have had in life.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“60% of business leaders express some concern with working with millennials in some way.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“It’s character that destroys a leader.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“If we want to be building good, strong, solid leaders for the future, we have to start coaching virtues.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“For long-term leadership success, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of no’s in life.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“What do you get out of bed and you just naturally do?” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“What is your core passion, what are you always thinking about.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“We can have a lot of discussion, but let’s put an action plan together.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“You’ve got too much talent, you’ve got too much opportunity, you’ve got too much brilliance – just shift into gear and get going.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“If you don’t create win alignment you’re not going to get the impact you want.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“You have your goal in place, you’re going to get obstacles, you’re going to get thrown off track and you just need to get back on track.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“Lack of accountability is a massive erodeer in our culture.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“If we will begin to look at what we can do differently, then that stimulates our own creative juices.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“Get active, get engaged in coaching and mentoring.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“Everything that you’ve been doing in life is preparing you to pass your leadership insight and wisdom and legacy onto the next generation.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“Don’t let excuses get in your way of making it happen.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“We don’t learn, we don’t serve, we don’t love by talking.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

“Everything we want comes from listening and caring about the people in our lives.” -Danita Bye Click to Tweet

Hump to Get Over

Resources and Show Mentions

Call Center Coach

An Even Better Place to Work

Show Transcript:

[expand title=”Click to access edited transcript”]

186: Danita Bye: This is not about complaining—it’s about doing

Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we uncover the leadership like hat that help you to experience, break out performance faster and rocket to success. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

Call center coach develops and unites the next generation of call center leaders. Through our e-learning and community individuals gain knowledge and skills in the six core competencies that is the blueprint that develops high-performing call center leaders. Successful supervisors do not just happen so go to callcentercoach.com to learn more about enrollment and download your copy of the Supervisor Success Path e-book now.

Jim Rembach: Okay, Fast Leader legion today I’m excited because I have somebody on the show today who’s opened up my eyes to several things and I think we’re going to have a great discussion that you’ll get some benefit from. Danita Bye grew up on the Triple T ranch in northwestern North Dakota 800 square foot house with no running water this means that she used an outdoor biffy daily and took a Finnish sauna weekly. The sauna was located about a football field away from their house, it was great in the summertime not so much fun in the wintertime when it was 30 below and the wind was howling at 30 miles an hour> Currently it offers one of the finest hunting preserves for pheasants in the nation. Her parents have been married almost 60 years. She has one younger sister and two younger brothers. Her parents continue to make a huge imprint on her life. They are entrepreneurs who figured out how to not only survive but thrive in homestead country, so Danita is an entrepreneur. They are intent on stewarding their gifts of encouragement and hospitality especially to young adults so Danita is focused on building next gen leaders.

After completing a pre-med degree she decided to shift directions and move into the business world. She started her career with Xerox Corporation in Sales. After about a decade in the technology space she became an angel investor and part of a turnaround management team in the medical device world. Having sold that company she analyzed what she got a kick out of doing she decided she loved helping business owners in the stem space that software technology engineering and manufacturing helping them to get traction with their sales teams. So she started her own sales development firm, Sales Growth Specialists. Her current book, Millennials Matter Proven Strategies for Building Your Next Gen Leader is part of her legacy to inspire and encourage senior leaders to stop complaining about millennials and to start coaching and mentoring them to inspire them to be intentional about the imprint of their leadership legacy.

After living for 30 years in Minnesota she moved back to the ranch in North Dakota about four years

Ago. She operates a global sales development and global leadership firm overlooking the beauty of a pristine animal preserve. She’s been married to Gordon for 33 years. Has three millennial children and two delightful grandchildren with one more on the way. Danita Bye, are you ready to help us get over the hump?

Danita Bye: We are ready let’s go let’s roll.

Jim Rembach: I’m glad you’re here. Now I’ve given my legion a little bit about you but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better?

Danita Bye: You know what, my current passion is really about energizing and equipping those senior leaders to get on track, stop complaining and to start coaching and mentoring and working with those next gen leaders. So I’ve got posters all over my office that relate to that I dream about that that’s what I’m working on.

Jim Rembach: Now there are several things in your book that kind of stood out to me that I’m looking forward to talking with you about and there’s one phrase that you use that I think senior leaders including myself have to be very, very mindful of and that is you call it artificial maturity.

Danita Bye: Well, that’s actually a concept by coined by Tim Elmore which is one of the people I follow, listen, and pay attention to. And where it comes is that with all the technology and information that’s at the fingertips for millennials if they can walk into any scenario and they look knowledgeable and confident and they look good but what business leaders are telling me is that when they trip and fall or they encounter something that they’re not finding on You Tube or Google that kind of confidence kind of cracks a little bit. And so it’s important for us as leaders and coaches to recognize that they look mature but they haven’t gone through all the trips and falls and crashes that we have had in life.

Jim Rembach: You know the reason I bring that up is because I just had this conversation the other day with somebody where I talked about the perception of arrogance and I said you know, oftentimes, when we perceive somebody as being arrogant really what it is it’s a mask. It’s a mask for insecurity that doubt that whole self-assurance issue and it manifests itself as that arrogance. And so sometimes we just need to stop and take pause and say, okay, I shouldn’t judge this as arrogance and therefore be offended or irritated or someone buy it but maybe try to seek out and discover what’s the underlying things that are going on here.

Danita Bye: Absolutely, absolutely. In the research that we did for the book sixty percent of business leaders express some concern in working with millennials in some way. And actually 53 percent of them cited what they call this know-it-all attitude and you’re absolutely right is to see it as a—you use the word mask I was going to say facade and it’s something for us as leaders to recognize and to push through and to keep asking questions and learning and asking questions and spending time in developing the relationship so that we could have an imprint on their lives. You’re absolutely right.

Jim Rembach: And I also love that with the acronym that you brought up in regards to helping really coach and mentor these folks in order to be able to build so that—you mentioned the word resilience and all that and it’s Dakota. Yes, not surprising, but tell us what Dakota means?

Danita Bye: Well, let me tell a little bit of the backstory on that so as we mentioned in the intro I grew up on this cattle ranch in Northwestern North Dakota I’d been living in Minneapolis for 30 years and then through a series of events felt that it was important to move back to North Dakota, that’s where my parents still live, and to get involved with the business. It was about at this same time that I had this wake-up call in a sense to start focusing on millennials. And began to think about what are the things that are important for leadership that are important for resiliency and many of those things tie to the homes, the character, qualities in the immigrants and the homesteaders that I grew up with. And so I began to develop this concept of Dakota which is really taking some of the ancient virtues, which is a word we just don’t use in modern time as virtues, but taking those ancient virtues and put it into modern language. So D stands for determination A for awareness K knowledge O optimism T trustworthy and A accountability. And that really is taking some of those ancient virtues that make for solid long-term leadership and then put them into language at least I could understand and I’m hoping that our readers can understand it too.

Jim Rembach: Well, and I think when I started looking at my kids and their education and I don’t think they get that type of clarity on building the virtues, of course we’re trying to give those things at home and I say a lot of these words a lot because of what I get exposed to and all the people who I’ve met and so I mean they’re getting that benefit but outside of that I don’t see that it’s really occurring it’s just kind of like you were saying it’s non-existent not just in our vernacular vocabulary but just in our practices.

Danita Bye: Just in our practices. When I first started researching and talking to colleagues about what I was working on millennials matter the pushback that I got from my colleagues and from business leaders when I mentioned the word character was, Danita, character that’s what you work on at home you don’t work on it in the business. And then there was a whole another set of colleagues, business leaders, who said character Danita that’s a little embarrassing to talk about in the workforce isn’t it? Yes, and we know when we look at all the headlines that it is character that destroys a leader that they can cover up the flaws but you know what? It’s that character flaw that will eventually undermine them. So if we want to be building good strong, solid leaders for the future we have to start talking about and coaching determination and trustworthiness and dealing with ethics and those virtues.

Jim Rembach: Well, I mean you’re right. Because the reality of where we are today, you can try to avoid it all you want but it’s not going to help, is that there isn’t a lot of that taught in the home. I’ve had the opportunity to coach baseball for past couple years with some kids and I’m just looking at some of these kids and saying how they don’t have that strength and fortitude the courage it’s just non-existent they haven’t overcome things because it’s always been so simple and easily hand it to them they haven’t had the guidance in the mentoring and the tough love but we need that we all need it. So what’s happening is now they’re getting in the workforce and guess what they haven’t had it so you got to do it.

Danita Bye: We got to do it, we got to do it. I was telling a story—I’m a pre-med student I shifted gears went to work with Xerox Corporation and in those days we had to make cold calls and our activity called for making 50 cold calls a day, excuse me 50 cold calls a week and of those 50 we would if we worked the numbers right we would get one yes. That means we got 49 no’s to deal with every week, ten a day. I would do pretty good the first time but you know, man, kind of thirdsy end of the day I actually had a rule that if I cried—this is when you just had like a tear well up if I had a tear well up three times a day I was still having a good day. And the fourth time I would call my boss Bob, who was a wonderful coach and a wonderful mentor, and I was telling this story and someone said, you know, Danita that’s the difference in today’s world people probably would quit and find a new job after the first no and what we know for long-term leadership success, man, you’re got to you’re going to have to deal with a lot of nose and life to get hold get traction so that is something that we as business leaders need to be acutely aware of and to begin nurturing that in our own teams and our own young leaders.

Jim Rembach: Without a doubt. And there’s one thing that you talked about too as well that I think could also be some of that fuel and foundation for some of that cure courage and you talked about knowing what your jazz is and I think we have to help younger people really do that I mean I think for many of us that are older that are supposed to be coaching and mentoring really don’t know what that is. I think everybody needs to find their own jazz.

Danita Bye: Well yeah, I think where I’ve gotten at is just looking at myself. You know there’s times for all of us that we all—I ‘m not doing well I’m not having fun this doesn’t feel like it fits it’s not purpose a whole host of question that we have to wrestle with at different times in life. What’s been insightful for me is to keep just a mini diary for about a week on I loved doing this and this was the energizing and we can do the same thing with people these people are fun these people, man, you know they just SAP energy from me. And so I’ve found when I’ve been coaching young leaders and people going through transition that it just it provides some helpful aha’s.

Jim Rembach: So when you start thinking about helping people find their jazz what it is that that you do or that you guide people or to direct people or tools that you give people in order to be able to do that.

Danita Bye: So I have a couple of tools that I like. One is a process called life’s core purpose. And in life’s core purpose you begin to look at what are you just naturally competent at what do you get out of bed and you just naturally do? So what’s your core competence and then what’s your core passion what are you always thinking about? I’ll use it an example for, I guess I’ll use for me, I am no matter what situation I am in I, I get things moving I get things moving off the dime. We can have lots of discussion but let’s put an action plan together no matter where I’m going about engaging so that’s a core competence. And then my core passion is about getting people launched on the growth path. To shift into gear for me it drives me nuts when people are status quo players. You’ve got too much talent you’ve got too much opportunity you’ve got too much brilliance shift into gear and get going. Once I was able to put words around that it was just helpful for me to be able to analyze activities and that’s one of the tools that I’d like to use.

Jim Rembach: So that’s interesting that you say that because with my son who’s 13 I’ve started asking him and I told him I’m got to ask it until he can actually help you know to formulate some ideas and thoughts around as I asked him I said what is that one thing when you go to bed that you have a hard time actually going to sleep you know because of it. And when you get up in the morning it’s actually top of mind and you’re like, I can’t wait to do this and be part of this and by the way, it can’t be a video game it has to be something that actually is got to better the world. So what is that thing that’s got to better the world that you really think about all the time?

Danita Bye: I love that.

Jim Rembach: Right now he’s like, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know. I said well I’m got to keep asking. I said, you’re got to have to start seeking it out. I said, and if you can’t figure it out on your own I said we’re got to sit down and figure it out together. I said, because you have to have something that is a target for you something that gives you that internal juice and something that really causes you to take that extra step instead of sit on your hining.

Danita Bye: Absolutely. There’s lots of different ways it’s just a whole—obviously with parenting there’s a whole host of ways that we can do that. Interestingly when I was hiring and building a sales team I actually asked that as part of my interview process. Remember there was one in particular I asked that too and he was at that time he was 23 24 25 and he was a little cheapy she didn’t know if he should answer that and he says, well, what I really want to do is I really want to own an auto dealership, which had nothing to do with the medical device company that I was involved in which is the reason he was a little nervous about telling me this. And I said, great, let’s talk about owning that car dealership and why is that. What are the sparks? What are the things that are interesting? And then what sort of skills do we need to be developing on a regular basis so that you’re ready to run that auto dealership? And every time we had a rhythm of doing a quarterly review where we would step back and look at a big picture we talked about it every single time.

Jim Rembach: That’s what we need to do some people talking about the status quo people they would say, well gosh I don’t want to hire this person because they don’t want to work here long they just want to auto dealership and they’re just not going to stay they’re not going to be motivated. That’s not what you should do what you should do is what you did is you take that and you use it as the way for you to actually get them to motivate themselves. There’s a saying that I heard a long time ago a Kirk Weisler who was actually a guest on my show, he said, don’t make the mistake. He goes, you don’t motivate anybody that’s not the way it works people motivate themselves your job as leader is to create the environment by which they will motivate themselves.

Danita Bye: Absolutely, absolutely. When typically my work is with sales organizations and getting them unstuck and moving forward and one of the very first things that I find that we have to do is to help each salesperson create alignment between their personal goals and their professional goals. Often to get alignment we have to look at what their personal goals are, which is where we talk about what jazzes them, and we have to look at what their professional goals are not what their managers goals are not what the company’s goals are but what their goals are. Then we take those and start to weave those together to create something that is inspirational, fun, energizing that they can get out of bed in the morning and have some hope and some direction for the future.

Jim Rembach: I think we’re a lot of leaders make a mistake is that they don’t realize that the manager meeting his sales numbers the company meeting their sales numbers and all that’s really an output that’s an output of all the things these other things that you were just talking about.

Danita Bye: Absolutely, absolutely. There’s at least three wins like a win, win, win strategy because no matter what you do it has to be the win for the salesperson employee it has to be a win for the company it has to be a win for the client it has to be—there are so many wins and unless you create that kind of win alignment you’re not going to get the engagement you’re not going to get the business growth you’re not going to get the impact that you want so it does all need to align and come together.

Jim Rembach: Without a doubt. One other thing that you expose me to and I actually had to reach out to a friend was something called the Sisu spirit, which has some Finnish origin so I reached out to my Finnish friend Yona she gave me some additional insights into Sisu, but tell us a little bit about the Sisu spirit.

Danita Bye: Well, growing up in the Finnish background, you mentioned it in the bio, this going to the sauna which was a football field away when you’re three years old and four years old and it’s 30 below and the wind is howling our parents never let us off the hook this is what we needed to do. So as I look at the growing up and leading that is that’s just what you do you have your goal in place you are going to get obstacles you’re going to get thrown off track and you just you need to get back on track. I pulled this out to make certain that I got my quote correctly. I was a young salesperson at Xerox, who as I’d mentioned got tears in my eyes like three times a day, but there was a quote that I blew up into a poster I know that you’ve heard it before but it goes like this—what you do when you don’t need to determines what you will be when you can’t help it. And isn’t that the Sisu spirit that there’s a whole host of things in life that we don’t want to do? In sales we maybe don’t want to make sales calls or we don’t want to talk to this person because they’re scary we don’t want to ask this other question cause really one with send people –there’s a whole host of things in life that make us uncomfortable or they don’t make us uncomfortable. And yet in doing those things it develops that resilience and that determination and that ability to keep going and I call that the Sisu spirit coming from my Finnish heritage.

Jim Rembach: It’s definitely something that I want to research a little bit more and hopefully expose my kids to that because I’m always trying to give them things that will hopefully help them find stronger and more firm footing. Anxiety is a huge problem with a lot of youth today, quite frankly for everybody today, for a lot of different reasons.

Danita Bye: Yes. We live in an anxious, anxious ridden society.

Jim Rembach: Without a doubt. You shared that quote, thanks for doing that, and I’m sure too when you start thinking about—you talked about that sales experience and actually growing through that you talked about in your bio being an investor a lot of different things that you’ve done having this business the book, but I’m sure there’s humps that you’ve had to get over that have taught you a lot. Is there one of those stories that you can share so we can learn?

Danita Bye: So my life is filled with hopes it just seems like we’re always kind of working through. There’s one in particular that there was a mass of learning for me. I had been with technology business with Xerox Corporation for about ten years I had been in the medical device world for about a decade which I loved and then we were having some shifts and changes in our life and we decided that I would buy a snowmobile sleigh manufacturing company. Now in retrospect it was absolutely an idiot decision. Why would some—there were so many idiot decisions on this but anyway we did it. That was 1997, El Nino hit that winter there’s no snow. Most people don’t know this but the El Nino actually lasted for three years there’s no snow and I have a bit snowmobile sleigh manufacturing business. I was not happy. I was angry at my clients because they weren’t purchasing things. I was angry at my husband because he was the one who had kind of persuaded me that this would be a good idea and I was angry at God he’s the one who makes it snow, right?

As I was working with this I had a mentor who just really pushed in and said, Danita you’re playing the blame game and you are sapping your own creativity and energy and you need to shape up. Of course, I did not like that conversation I think I walked away angry from that conversation also. However, I guess I begin to process that and work with that I thought, okay, I’ve been sitting with this company that I hate for three years I’m just got to sit down and do a white boarding session and see what ideas I came up with. So, my husband and I sat down we came up with ten ideas. One idea was to sell the company and I thought that’s great because I don’t want to expand the company I want to sell it I hate it. We did everything we put all the paperwork together got the word on the street we had it sold in 45 days. And I sat and complained for three years and we sold it in 45 days? It was just a huge, huge lesson for me. Out of the experience and research developed a concept which I call the catalyst question. And there’s four things that I had to learn, one is, I can’t point the finger at anybody else I have to look at me. What might I do to get the results I want? And then number two is they use the word might. Might is a creativity question, so that’s what helped me to generate my options. What might I do, this is not about complaining this is about doing to get the results that I want? So that’s a key question that as I’m working with leaders that we start to integrate because lack of accountability is a massive eroder in our culture.

Jim Rembach: And that word has always kind of played a little bit of an irritation for me. Because for me I need to hold myself accountable. But I as a leader I need to create the environment by which people take ownership as well as convey that as an expectation because I think lazy leaders use accountability in the wrong way and they say, I’m going to hold you accountable and it becomes a control issue and I think it’s just totally misapplied in so many different ways.

Danita Bye: what a lazy leader will do. In my work with sales organizations we have actually researched over a million salespeople sales professionals and our statistics show that 60% of people within sales or the revenue generation side of a business have a tendency to point their fingers at someone else for not achieving an objective. They’re going to blame the economy they’re going to blame the competitor they’re going to blame the boss they’re going to blame the marketing department they’re going to blame someone and yes there are realities that we deal with. The reality is that if we will begin to look at what we might be able to do differently that kind of stimulates our own creative juices and helps us to reach out to the right people it helps us to ask a better set of questions. Again that’s an area where we as leaders we don’t hold people accountable we help to develop that culture of ownership.

Jim Rembach: I really like the book and I highly recommend it and we’re going to actually put it on your show notes page. So for me when I start thinking about where you’re going with this and how things are progressing and you look at all these goals that you can have for your business and everything else what is one of those goals?

Danita Bye: Well, one of the goals is the message. The message of—get activated get engaged in coaching and mentoring. We baby boomers across the nation are retiring at record speed and many of them are at this time of searching for purpose. Some are afraid to retire because they don’t know what they’re going to be doing others are wrestling with feelings of relevance or it could be a really confusing time. One of my messages is that everything that you’ve been doing in life is preparing you to pass your leadership insight and wisdom and legacy on to the next generation. And I believe that this generation is calling out to us as senior leaders and that we as senior leaders need to respond and recognize that that that is a huge leadership legacy and responsibility that we can step up to.

Jim Rembach: And the Fast Leader legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on let’s get a quick word from our sponsor.

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Jim Rembach: Alright here we go Fast Leader legion it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay, Danita, the Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us a robust yet rapid response that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Danita Bye, are you ready to hoedown?

Danita Bye: I think so, I don’t know.

Jim Rembach: What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today?

Danita Bye: Focus.

Jim Rembach: What is the best leadership advice you have ever received?

Danita Bye: Listen and ask more questions.

Jim Rembach: What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

Danita Bye: Prosperity mindset don’t let excuses get in your way of making it happen.

Jim Rembach: What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

Danita Bye: One of my best tools it’s called a life map. And it outlines my goals and three areas of my life and I go back to that on a monthly basis just to recalibrate and make certain I’m on track.

Jim Rembach: What would be one book that you’d recommend to our listeners that could be from any genre? Of course we’re got to put a link to Millennials Matter, on your show page as well.

Danita Bye: Yes, the book that we need to read is the Bible and specifically Jesus. Jesus is this phenomenal leader that we can learn a lot from.

Jim Rembach: Okay, Fast Leader legion you can find links to that another bonus information from today’s show by going to fastleader.net/danitabye. Okay, Danita, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 25 and you’ve been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything back you can only choose one. So what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

Danita Bye: It’s the ability to ask insightful deep questions so that you can also listen well. The reason behind that is one of my assets in life is to talk but the problem is we don’t learn we don’t serve we don’t love by talking everything we want comes from listening and caring about the people in our lives.

Jim Rembach: Danita, it was an honor to spend time with you today, can you please share with the Fast Leader legion how they can connect with you?

Danita Bye: I am at danitabye.com

Jim Rembach: Danita Bye, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show special offers and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster.

END OF AUDIO

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098: Michael Teoh: I thought I could motivate my staff

Michael Teoh Show Notes

Michael Teoh was working on growing his business and he was getting results. Michael kept pressing forward thinking he could motivate his staff to meet client demands. But his staff pushed back. That’s when Michael learned a valuable lesson.

Michael was born in the northern state of Malaysia, known as Penang, a melting pot of cultures, ethnicities and even food delicacies, renowned for being one of the top tourist destinations in the world.

He was raised in a typical middle-income family, where Michael’s parents ran an education school, which provided academic support to the poorer students in the state. At a tender age of 4, Michael was brought up in a ‘Classroom-like’ setting where he recalls fondly, of the moment he picked up a chalk and started to sketch his stories for the amusements of teachers and the students.

Despite his humble beginnings, life did not ‘Spoil’ Michael, as he too had to struggle through his years in school, where he was bullied because he was weak in sports and that he hailed from a middle income family, who couldn’t afford much.

However, Michael learnt an invaluable lesson from his journey, growing up, and that is ‘We should Strive to Create Opportunities to Help Others, rather than to Wait for Others to Give Opportunities to Us!’

Today, Michael Teoh has surprised many of his ‘Naysayers’ who had once bullied him. He is the Founder of Thriving Talents, an award-winning ‘Millennials-focused’ talent development company who attracts, develops and retains young leaders for Fortune 500 companies across 39 countries – A business which Michael excitedly wakes up every day to reach out to clients like Microsoft, Intel, General Electric and more, to share his services to train up their talents! He has also been featured on CNN, BBC and the Malaysian Book of Records, while being recognized as a ‘National Youth Icon’ by the Malaysian Prime Minister.

Michael is also a serial investor with investments in properties, precious metals, commodities and had recently endeavoured into the food & beverages industry in South East Asia’s booming consumer market. He was also a Global Advisor with Microsoft’s Youth Spark initiative, SAP’s Millennials at Work campaign and a Board of Director of several companies & public entities in Malaysia, with his focus on Talent Development, Sales and Leadership.

He is the Co-Author of the Potential Matrix®, a book in which he has researched the world’s most celebrated young leaders and has been serving him, as the tool for him to inspire and guide other people to succeed in their lives and at work as well!

Michael currently lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @michaelteoh to get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“If we want to see any positive change, we need to develop our skills and attitudes.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Why not give the best we can give in life?” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“As human beings we need that one turning point.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“The biggest pitfall for any human being is to just give up.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“If you want purpose, commit and do it to the best of your abilities.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“There is a time to have fun and there is a time for the bottom line.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Never wait for opportunities to come, instead create your own.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Have the heart to create opportunities for others.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Live with kings, walk with kings, but never lose that common touch.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Never forget how, and why, and where you started.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

“Always think about the people first, the results will follow.” -Michael Teoh Click to Tweet

Hump to Get Over

Advice for others

Create an environment of caring AND bottom line performance.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

Self-doubt.

Best Leadership Advice Received

Always think about the people first, the results will follow.

Best tools that helps in business or Life

My persistence to deliver excellence.

Contacting Michael

email: http://www.potentialmatrix.com

LinkedIn: https://my.linkedin.com/in/michaelteoh

Twitter: https://twitter.com/michaelteoh

Resources

54 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Competencies List: Emotional Intelligence has proven to be the right kind of intelligence to have if you want to move onward and upward faster. Get your free list today.

Show Transcript:

[expand title=”Click to access edited transcript”]

098: Michael Teoh: I thought I could motivate my staff

Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we explore convenient yet effective shortcuts that will help you get ahead and move forward faster by becoming a better leader. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

Need a powerful and entertaining way to ignite your next conference, retreat or team-building session? My keynote don’t include magic but they do have the power to help your attendees take a leap forward by putting emotional intelligence into their employee engagement, customer engagement and customer centric leadership practices. So bring the infotainment creativity the Fast Leader show to your next event and I’ll help your attendees get over the hump now. Go to beyondmorale.com/speaking to learn more.

Jim Rembach: Okay, Fast Leader Legion, when my good friend Karen Hurt, who’s on Episode 64 of the Fast Leader Show said that I needed to meet this person she was right, so I have him on the show. Michael Teoh was born in the northern state of Malaysia known as Penang, a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities even food delicacies renowned for being one of the top tourist destinations in the world. He was raised in a typical middle-income family were Michael’s parents ran an education school which provided academic support to the poor students in the state. At a tender age of four Michael was brought up in the classroom-like setting where he recalls fondly of the moment where he picked up a chalk and started to sketch his stories for the amusement of teachers and students.

Despite his humble beginnings life did not spoil Michael as he had to struggle through his years in school where he was bullied because he was weak in sports and that he hailed from a middle-income family who couldn’t afford much. However, Michael learned an invaluable lesson from his journey growing up and that is, that we should strive to create opportunities to help others rather than to wait for others to give opportunities to us. Michael Teoh has surprised many of his naysayers who had once bullied him. He is the founder of Thriving Talents an award-winning millennial’s-focused talent development company who attracts, develops, and retains young leaders for Fortune 500 companies across 39 countries.

He has also been featured on CNN, BBC and the Malaysian Book of Records while being recognized as a national youth icon by the Malaysian Prime Minister. Michael’s also a serial investor with investments and properties, precious metals, commodities and had recently endeavored into the food and beverage industry in Southeast Asia’s booming consumer market. He is also a global advisor with Microsoft’s youth spark initiative SAP’s Millennial’s at Work campaign and has been on the board for many organizations. He is also the co-author of the Potential Matrix a book in which he has researched the world’s most celebrated young leaders. Michael currently lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Michael are you ready to help us get over the hump?

Michael Teoh: Fantastic. Thank you so much Jim for having me here and hello to everyone tuning in right now. I’m very excited to be here.

Jim Rembach: I’ve given our listeners a little bit about—I’m glad you’re here too—but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better?

Michael Teoh: Well, my current passion is developing the human potential. Because I believe—who want to see any positive change to happen in our world today, even in our own lives the day she starts with us needing to develop our skills, having the right attitude and of course having that guiding hand just to guide us to weather through the stormy weathers and help us unleash our potentials. I’ve seen how some of my students who regularly attended my talk who have actually learned some of the strategy that to me years to learn have transformed their lives overtime. And the best thing I’m doing right now Jim, is that I’ve incorporated into running it into full time business, and that’s what I do in Thriving Talents.

Jim Rembach: You know, I’m really intrigued because of reading and learning a little bit more about you and talking about your growing up, how you were bullied, and really you had the opportunity to be someone who just melted away within society. How can you take the adversity that you went through and turn it into this whole potential thing that you’re talking about now?

Michael Teoh: I believe it all started with a self-realization. Realization that I’ve given all my best, I try to become the best athlete that I possibly could at school but I just couldn’t make the cut. And what happened was I thought we just live once, that’s my personal belief, and I just thought why not give the best that we can in life. And that was the time I start seeking out mentors and I was very glad that when I was in school I had teachers who actually gave me my first opportunity. Oftentimes I believe as a human being we need that one turning point, and that one turning point is essential and you need that comes in disguise as opportunities for us to make the best use of. So as for me, I started participating in business plan competitions. I started participating in conventions and seminars. I become a volunteer. I start to raise up my hand to take up responsibilities in life and in school. And without knowing it, I started to realize that, hey, I found a new niche in my life. I’m may not be good in sports at that time but at least I could be good at something, and for me at that time, I was running a business, it was inspiring lives at a tender age when I was just 16 to 17 years old and that was my turning point. And I think the biggest most fatal pitfall for any human being to make sense of the purpose in this life is to just give up and like you mention Jim, melt away with the flow. I believe all of us are put into this world for a destiny—for a purpose and I think we could actually find it. And once we found it we just have to make that opportunity the best that we can.

Jim Rembach: Okay so I have to know Michael because it’s just kind of one of those things that as a parent, I want to make sure that I’m doing the right thing. And I look at others and I’m like, “Okay, I’m not going to do that or I should do that.” When you started talking about those moments, when you came home and probably wept to your parents and talked about how mean they were at you, what did your parents do in order redirect you or in order to have you to have the outlook that you have now in being able to accomplish the things that you’ve accomplished?

Michael Teoh: You know, I’ll be honest with you, Jim, and for all of you who are coming from the parts of Asia, you will know that Asian parents were normally want their kids to excel very well in academic studies, at least during my time, where we just turn to the millennium it was the early 2000’s. But one thing I really appreciated what my parents did was they supported me in my pursuit of enhancing what we today know as sought skills. They knew that I was not so academically inclined because I was studying something that I didn’t like that was science subject, I didn’t like science subjects during that time, but one thing though when I had put in the effort to explore other side about me, oratory skills, public speaking, acting and drama, debating, business plan writing, one thing that

I really appreciated that my parents and my grandparents as well did, was that they supported me. And I’m not asking parents out there to give all their wealth to their kids to experiment on an idea, what I am asking is to all parents out there is to give that moral support. Because you cannot imagine how just a simple remark from your dad or from your mom encouraging you to pursue your dreams or find that purpose in life could lead that ordinary person to become an extraordinarily person in the future. And I think as for me personally, as the son, as the daughter or as the kid at that time, I believe there should be more conversations that should be held between ourselves and our parents to make or at least try to make them understand, I would say, about our perspective or the world of what we may not good at right now and what can we excel in and just have a win-win situation.

One of the things that I basically did with my parents was to form a wager in a sense where I was not so academically incline because I was studying science but I have proven to them that whenever I join competitions, whenever I commit myself to get involve in businesses I do it at 100% and I think if you really want success, if you really want purpose in your life, just convince the other party, your stakeholders that you are there to give your 100% commitment and just do it to the best of your ability and show them results.

Jim Rembach: There’s a study that I was reading in regards to the difference between Asian parents, cause you brought that up and just say American parents cause I’m here on the states, so when you started looking at some of the things that were associated with how your parents supported you, one of the things that they were talking about on the study was that American parents would do too much coddling they would actually—when you talk about support they would give support and say that they did well even if they didn’t do well. Whereas Asian parents, kind of cut to the chase and said, “Hey! You did bad in that. You did bad in that because you didn’t focus on and do these things. And so therefore, if you want to perform better at it you need to be no more diligent and show more effort to be able to have the performance.” And they talk about the difference between the coddling and the tough love. Did your parents coddle your or they give you tough love?

Michael Teoh: Well, I would say it’s a mix of both actually. I would imagine that my mom coddles me while my dad gave me tough love but I would imagine that it’s very important to have the best of both world. One of the things that really change my life was that, I was 16 years old and I was trying to find a purpose in my life and I remember my dad permitting me to go for a real estate conference. At the age of 16, I was there all alone by myself and I was attending a conference about real estate, what do I know about real estate? One of the thing that I did realize is that it opened my mind and it also, I would say broaden my horizons to see what are the opportunities out there and how all these riches assess with people manage to accomplish their dreams and how did they get to where they are today.

So I think, as much as you ask the question, Jim about whether it’s coddling or tough love, I think parents would also require some assistance from the outside that is why it’s very important one thing I would suggest to parents is get yourself involve with associations. I understand that there’s some organizations or NGO’s out there like the Rotary Clubs or the Lion Clubs or Leo Clubs which parents could bring their kids to expose them to some early childhood dose of market reality and then the parents coming in to become a coach for the kids. I believe the time has passed when last time we could see parents often seen as dictators. They would often dictate what the kids should do, what the child should do at least from Asian perspective. But I think right now the parents should be a coach in the sense, do not dictate but at the same time have a chat with the kid, with the child, and help them to find their purpose in life.

Jim Rembach: The reason I’m bringing this up is because we’re finding this same thing really in the workplace. This whole coddling/tough love, this parenting/coaching it’s what has to happen in the workplace these days. It is no longer a situation where you can just say, “Here’s your job, here’s the expectations go to it and I’m going to put you through this evaluation process in order to develop you or terminate you.” That just doesn’t work anymore.

Michael Teoh: Right. It’s so interesting that you mention that because this is one of the things I want to share right now. Leaving my childhood days, let’s talk about business, let’s talk about leadership and I manage a team of 12 full time talents at the moment, very passionate talent, and I am the dinosaur in the company at the age of 29, the rest of my directors, my middle management, my executives, they’re all in their mid-20’s to early 20’s. And managing the millennials group, as they say it, can be quite an interesting challenge at the same time when do you push them, when you bring them back and coddle them, as you would say. And I just recently found out was that there’s actually two types of environment that you need to create in your office space. Number one, all the millennials in the world because they are influenced by Facebook, by Google, by Apple, they were influenced by the [inaudible 12:34] cultures, so in their mind they are thinking it’s all about fun, fun, fun it’s all about colors, it’s all about having the perks at work.

Now, being a startup or running a company like myself, we need to adapt. We know that the millennials are influenced by the cultures of this companies so we need to follow suit. So one of the thing that I do is, I do appear to be become a coach to my other employees. I ask them questions like my favorite question is, Jim, how can I help you? How can I make your job easier? Or your current task? What can I do to help you with it? When you ask this golden questions, your staff your employees will open up and in their mind you would appear more as a coach than a boss. Now, that is the first environment you want to create. You want to create your coddling, love thing environment so that you could stimulate your motivation.

However, there are also some scenarios because we are running a business web the bottom line is important ensuring that we deliver a high quality of services to our client is of utmost importance. We also have a second environment that we have created, we call it the key performance indicator hour. Now during that hour our staff or employees when they come in to our office they know that if they have not been performing we are going to question them. We are going to share with them what has gone wrong? What can we do? What are some of the policies that we may need to amend and change? So what happened is when you create both of those environment your employees will know that there is a time for them to have fun, there is a time where they know you’re going to be there as their coach, the coach there to maximize their potentials but there is also a time for seriousness, there’s also a time when you’re there to talk about the bottom line with them. So, I believe this is a very synergistic relationship that we have built in the office and it has definitely helped us to retain and motivate our staff forward. And I need to share this with you, Jim, Thriving Talents we are angel-invested, so we have two angel investors who back us up. We work with Fortune 500 companies, a lot of people tend to say, Wow! You’re so great. But to be honest our stress level is always in an all-time high. You work with Fortune 500 clients, they expect the best from you they benchmark you across all the global best practices, you have investors who are always chasing you for the bottom line performance. So, we need to be upfront with our employees, without staff just like how I am doing with my team. So that would be my take point.

Jim Rembach: Thanks for sharing that. I think the whole dynamic piece is something that is going to be difficult for organizations if they’ve already been operating in a certain way and a certain manner, is to bring that dynamic in to prepare themselves for the next generation of workers that’s going to be the largest group of workers that we’ve ever had throughout human history. So, I also know that—you’re high energy, you talked about all these research that you’re doing, I know you have so much inspiration and places that you seek inspiration, and we like quotes on the show to help us with that. Is there a quote or two that you like that you can share?

Michael Teoh: There are two quotes that have guided me throughout my life. And one of the quote, you’ve actually mentioned it just now but I’m going to repeat it again because it really resonates that is, “Never wait for opportunities to come, instead create your own opportunities”. And I also believe once you’re able to create your own opportunities have the heart to create opportunities for other people as well, help them out. Because that will make your life much more meaningful and much more purposeful as well. The second quote that I like to share is, “Live with the kings. Walk with the kings but never lose that common touch.” I’m always a believer as a human being all of us are blessed with the ability to speak. We are blessed with our appearances right now. We need to make the best use of it to make a positive impact to the world. But never, ever forget how and why and where you started. Because I believe for every great leader in the world they would always remember and reflect the lessons they’ve learned throughout their journeys since the day they started.

Jim Rembach: There’s definitely a lot of journeys that we have to go through and there’s a lot of humps along the way. Is there a time where you’ve got to get over a hump where it’s made a difference for you?

Michael Teoh: Definitely. And I must say this has just happened just last week. My staff came up to me and said, “Michael, we are over worked you are taking too many projects. We have too many high profile clients, we can’t take it anymore.” I can share with you all the previous humps I’ve gone through but this has just occurred to me just last week. I couldn’t believe it and I thought I was this energetic entrepreneur, I was this energetic speakers speaking with thousands of people around the world, working with the biggest companies ever, and here I am thinking that I could motivate my staff and that my staff they are motivated, my employees are great but they find it they’re now overworked.

So, one of the things that I realized is that, being the entrepreneur we have to pace ourselves as much as we can inspire, as much as we can motivate people I think it is also very important for us to reflect on how our employees, how our staff or team working with us, catching up with us. And I was reminded over lunch with a billionaire entrepreneur in Malaysia, whom I just met, and he just created a great company it’s one of the biggest low cost airline and he shared this to me. He said, “Michael, a lot of businesses say we put customers first.” And he said, “That’s wrong. In fact you should put employees first. Because once you put your employees as your number one priority and they’re well taken care of the customers they will take good care of them.”

So I thought that that was a very powerful lesson that I want to share with you. And I think how did I overcome that hump of motivating my overworked employees or staff? I have conversation with them. I let them off on certain days and I bring them for retreats but most importantly I believe, constant conversation is very important. Have weekly meetings with your staff and just be genuine and honest with them. In a sense where just ask them in all honesty, how can I help you? How are you feeling in your job? What are some of the things that we could together? That’s what I would recommend.

Jim Rembach: I think that’s a good point. For me I find myself that I need to say no more often to certain things so that I can focus on the items and the elements and the people that will allow me to go forward even faster. I know you have a lot of things going on. You’re talking about all of your clients of course and all that work. But if you were to look at all of the things that you have in front you, what is one of your main goals?

Michael Teoh: One of my main goals would be to inspire and to develop as many lives as I can. But the lives that I would wanted to develop are not limited to people who are just attending my workshops or seminar or reading my book and getting inspired and changing their lives. I would want to start developing people who could then speak who could then use their own stories to inspire. Because I believe in scaling, I believe in replication, I believe in sustainability and I think as much as your own voice could move the world. I believe if you have a hundred, a thousand, a million other voices who are united with that same common goal—and we’re not talking about the sophisticated goal, we’re talking about the goal of just sharing an advice, sharing an idea with the person next to you on how they could better themselves. I believe not only we can change the world, we can change the entire universe. We could change the way how people see their lives. We could change the way how people perceived [inaudible 20:50]. So that would be my main goal. I don’t know how I’m going to achieve it yet, but at least now I know I’m achieving it through one life training of one person at a time.

Jim Rembach: And the Fast Leader Legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on, let’s get a quick word from our sponsor.

An even better place to work is an easiest solution that gives you a continuous diagnostic on employee engagement along with integrated activities that will improve employee engagement and leadership skills in everyone. Using this award winning solution guaranteed to create motivated productive and loyal employees who have great work relationships with their colleagues and your customers. To learn more about an even better place to work, visit beyondmorale.com/better.

Jim Rembach: Alright, here we go Fast Leader Legion it’s time for the Hump day Hoedown. Okay, Michael, the Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. So, I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Michael Teoh, are you ready to hoedown?

Michael Teoh: Wish me luck. Alright let’s do it.

Jim Rembach: What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today?

Michael Teoh: I believe what’s holding me back is sometimes self-doubt. Self-doubt in the sense either am I really leading my team to the best of their capabilities? Am I maximizing the potential of my business Thriving Talents to impact more lives? Am I taking more risk?

Jim Rembach: What is the best leadership advice you have received?

Michael Teoh: Always think about the people first the results will follow.

Jim Rembach: What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

Michael Teoh: My persistence to deliver excellence and my persistence to reach out to as many companies, as many organizations, inspiring as many lives as possible.

Jim Rembach: What would be one book, it could be from any genre that you’d recommend to our listeners?

Michael Teoh: Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.

Jim Rembach: Okay, Fast Leader Legion, you can find links to that and other bonus information from today’s show by going to fastleader.net/Michael Teoh. Okay, Michael, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 21 and you have been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything back you can only choose one, what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

Michael Teoh: My absolute focus. Just focus on the developing a business that I am excited to wake up every morning to do and that is the training, speaking, and talent development business—growing Thriving Talents.

Jim Rembach: Michael, it was an honor to spend time with you today, can you please share with the Fast Leader listeners how they can connect with you?

Michael Teoh: Great. Guys, thank you so much Jim, and thank for all of you again for listening to my views. Do get in touch with me at www.potentialmatrix.com, website for my book. And I would really encourage all of you have a look about it, you can reach out to me there and I look forward to connect with you on Facebook. Just look me up on Facebook, LinkedIn, just introduce yourself first and I’ll be more than happy to see how I could add value to your life. Thank you again Jim for having me.

Jim Rembach: Michael Teoh, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom, the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump.

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show, special offers and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster.

END OF AUDIO

[/expand]

093: Mark Nathan: I was leaving part of me behind

Mark Nathan Show Notes

Mark Nathan built his young career as an actor and being in the film world. As he entered into the entrepreneur world it was difficult for him to let the film work go. That’s when Mark found a new perspective that helped him to move onward and upward.

Mark Nathan is on a mission to fit 3 lifetimes into 1. The child of Burmese and Filipino immigrants, along with his Brother who is a break dancing catholic priest and a younger sister who is a nurse and married to a Chicago firefighter. They all grew up with a great appreciation for the American dream.

But Mark didn’t quite know how to find the life he hoped for. From a young age, he had a creative streak, with an ambition to tackle large projects, and loved working with people.

He assumed education and a good career was the path to his dream life, but after watching some major job struggles in his family he knew that was not the path for him.

Mark found a talent and love for acting pursued a degree and career in theatre and film, which is how he paid his way through college. He took the drive and discipline he learned as an actor and launched a successful film festival at the age of twenty-one.

After college, he spent a few years in the corporate world as a recruiter, but also built a successful direct sales business on his free time, which allowed him to be financially free at 27 years old.

Mark and his co-author David Anderson are authors of The Delusion of Passion: Why Millennials Struggle to Find Success, which helps leaders to effectively lead the Millennial Generation.

Mark continues to grow multiple entrepreneurial endeavors and looks forward to rejoining the film world as a director/producer soon.

Mark is a proud Chicagoan and lives in the South Loop with his wife Meredith. They are expecting their first child this fall.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to (Mark Nathan) @27_N_RTIRD and get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“Instead of trying to find passion, create a life you are passionate about.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Create a life that you’re really excited about living.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“There’s so many opportunities that it creates stagnation.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“You have an opportunity to grow at the job you have right now.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“You’ve just got to kill what’s in front of you.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Do the best you can with what you’ve got and where you’re at.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Find a way to add value as much as humanly possible to your current situation.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“It’s really about a series of lessons you learn and skills you develop.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Write your future; it’s in your control.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“You’re in the passenger seat in your own life if you’re waiting for things to develop.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“You’re fully 1000% in control of how your story plays out.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“If you see your own life as a story then you’re fully in control.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Open-mindedness, respect and love apply whether or not you agree with someone.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“If you abandoned things because you don’t have a choice that’s when you have regret.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Whatever chapter of life you’re in, focus and give it everything you’ve got.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“It’s good to know that my life is constantly developing.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Earn the next level of mentorship.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“Whatever you want you have to be willing to give it away.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

“A mantle of leadership is an opportunity to serve more people.” -Mark Nathan Click to Tweet

Hump to Get Over

Advice for others

Look at your life as chapters and give each chapter all you’ve got.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

Wanting to move on too fast.

Best Leadership Advice Received

Earn the next level of mentorship.

Secret to Success

Whatever you want you have to be willing to give it away.

Best tools that helps in business or Life

Convergence. Being able to take learning from one arena and use it in another.

Contacting Mark

Website: https://about.me/marknathan

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-nathan-1a71492

Twitter: https://twitter.com/27_N_RTIRD

Resources

Show Transcript:

[expand title=”Click to access edited transcript”]

093: Mark Nathan: I was leaving part of me behind

Okay, Fast Leader Legion, today I’m excited because we have a rising star that helps others teach how to lead the younger generation and he himself is one of them. Mark Nathan is on a mission to fit three lifetimes into one. The child of Burmese and Filipino immigrants along with his brother who is a break dancing Catholic priest and a younger sister who is a nurse and married to a Chicago firefighter, they all grew up with a great appreciation for the American dream but Mark didn’t quite know how to find the life he hoped for. At a young age, he had creative streak with an ambition to tackle large projects and love working with people. He assumed education and a good career was the path to his dream life but after watching some jobs struggles in his family he knew that that was not the path for him.

Mark found a talent and love for acting, pursue a degree in career in theater and film which is how he paid his way to college. He took the drive and discipline that he learned as an actor and launched a successful film festival at the age of 21. After college he spend a few years in the corporate world as a recruiter but also built a successful direct sales business in his free time which allowed him to be financially free at 27 years old. Mark and his co-author David Anderson of The Delusion of Passion: Why Millennial Struggle to Find Success teaches others how to effectively manage the millennial generation.

Mark also continues to grow multiple entrepreneurial endeavors and looks forward to joining the film world as a director and producer soon. Mark is a proud Chicagoan and live in the South Loop with his wife Meredith. They are expecting their first child in this fall. Mark are you ready to help us get over the hump?

Mark Nathan: Rock and roll, thanks for having me on Jim.

Jim Rembach: I appreciate having you. Now I’ve given our listeners a little bit about you, but can you tell us what your current passion is so that we can get to know you even better.

Mark Nathan: Absolutely. I think you mentioned it right at the very beginning you’re talking about fitting three lifetimes in to one, and that is absolutely something I am so passionate about and so jacked about. I grew up with this mentality that I don’t even know if it’s a generational thing or an immigrant thing but I grew up with this idea that when you find the right job or career path that’s really supposed to be where you find your identity, and so I grew up with, go to school, get a good education, get a good job and it kind of find the career path that allows you to be who you are. Okay, well, I’m good at math, so maybe I should do this, I’m good at this maybe I should find this go down this career path and I’m kind of find myself in a spot where I just didn’t want to be limited to one thing the rest of my life. I feel like I had lot of things that I wanted to develop inside of me, the creative side, and business side, the growing leader and working with people and so instead of trying to find my passion or discover my passion I started creating a life was passionate about and that happens with every decision that you make, every action that you take.

And so, that’s what I’ve been jacked about, I’ve been very excited about recently because we’ve seen a lot of people especially with this book. This book just came out not too long ago, The Delusion of Passion: My Millennial Struggle to find Success, there’s so many people in our generation that have been dealing with the same thing they’re trying to find a life they’re passionate about like it’s hiding behind the corner of something or it’s behind the next promotion and really it’s about creating a life that you’re really excited about living. So, that’s what we been focused on more recently, the book and sharing the love from some of that and it’s opened up a lot of great doors and started a really great conversation, so we’re very blessed.

Jim Rembach: So, I’m a Gen X’er right? My kids are known 13, 11, 8 I don’t get exposure to a lot of that millennials type of thinking, type of perspective and outlook and I had the opportunity to watch you and David on a recorded webcast. There was a couple of things that stood out to me and when you started talking about your drive and desire and things like that, there’s a really something that’s missing from that whole helping people to understand their direction piece, what motivates them, what their drives are, because people of my generation and before me we don’t have as nowhere near as many choices as the younger generation has. Finding that passion and understand what motivates and drives you is hard.

Mark Nathan: Absolutely. And one of the things that we’ve seen when you’re talking about how many options there are, it creates almost a little bit of the stagnancy. Like well, I’m not really jacked about what I’m doing right I’m sure I’ll find something later. If you’re smart and you’re talented, you’re want to work at least a little bit hard there’s a world of possibilities out there. And so, it almost create a little bit the stagnation while you’re waiting for the next thing. I’m sure I’ll find something better, I’m not going to really do something about this, Oh, I’m at a placeholder job right now but I’m sure things will get better, and meanwhile you have an opportunity to grow at the job you’re at right now or you’ve got this opportunity over here just potential start something with a friend. And you almost pass up on these opportunities because you just assumed that there’s—well, there’s going to be something better I’m sure.

When I find the right path for me, maybe there’s going to be fireworks or maybe some magical thing will happen I’ll just know but the reality of the situation is we talked about in the book you just going to kill what’s in front of you. And really life is just about this chapters and this opportunities if you’ve got an amazing opportunity with your job or with working with a friend and marching some—whatever it is, do the best you can with what you’ve got and where you’re at. Find the way add value as much as humanly possible to your current situation and what you’re going to learn from that and the people you’re going to meet, the skills you’re going to develop that’s going to unlock doors for the next opportunity and that’s going to unlock the next opportunity. Person’s that’s grown their career, yourself, anyone that you study it’s really just this kind of series of lessons you’ve learned and skills that you’ve developed and they all just going to build on each other. So, when you’re talking about so many options, it’s so many options that people almost stay still and stagnate themselves while they “evaluating their options.”

Jim Rembach: What you just said right there from my perspective, I think that’s happening across every single generation because I’ve spoken to some of my friends who are sitting at retirement age and their saying, “I don’t know what I wanted to do. I want to do something I know I don’t want to do what I’ve been doing exactly I want to try something else but they don’t know what and there’s just like overwhelmed with all these different choices and don’t know how to take and identify internally what really gives them or what has given in passion and that how they can thrive in that next opportunity wherever it may be. A lot of time I don’t think that people realize that you going to have to shuffle sidestep sometimes in order to find that opportunity to go forward. It’s kind of like the Frogger game, generating—putting myself in there but you’ve got to move a little left in order to go forward and then maybe you have to go back to and go a little bit right but ultimately you’re keeping your eyes forward and you keep trying to go in that direction.

Mark Nathan: Absolutely. And that was one of the biggest, I think, struggles for me, I got started with this idea, I’m the child of Asian immigrants, so were basically brainwashed from the womb to be a doctor, okay, you’re going to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer those are the options you got. And so, I grew up doing that and actually even when I was applying for colleges I was applying as pre-med for the most part. And I remember just thinking, “Men, this is just not going to get me—while I like the idea of financial security of being a doctor, you know things like that, I just knew that that wasn’t really going to be for me so when we’re talking about taking sidestep, man, I remember that was the biggest think to let go off. For the last handful of years I’ve been thinking, “Well, here’s how my life is going to progress.” But if that’s not leading you down the path that you want, well you got to take a side step a little bit and see, “Okay, what path could this be?” and what path do this open up?

And so, the idea of taking a step to the side and evaluating other options I think is good as long as there’s still forward movement. A lot of people they don’t really side step they just kind of side look but they don’t actually do anything about it. So, taking an actual step into another venue or another direction that’s when I transition into the art world and pay my way to school being an actor and direct and producing short independent films. But then even when I was transitioning into business I founded a film festival when I was 21 and that kind of open the entrepreneur door. I remembered transitioning a little bit more in to business, I was really excited about starting things and the film festival (9:42 inaudible) but I didn’t have a lot of traditional business experience, I don’t understand the business world. So, I figured, okay well—and some advice I got, well, why don’t you work in the business world for a little break, get some experience and get exposure. I was an actor, I use to make fun of the corporate guys. I would make fun of my roommate that would wake up at seven o’clock in the morning putting on his shoes and giving on the awe with everyone else, I make fun of that guy and then a year later I am that guy. But I just realized, okay, well if starting something and developing this entrepreneurial business muscle is something that I want, well then yeah, let’s take a side step and develop my skills in that arena but that means that I have to let go of this in order to develop this new path and….yeah, it’s scary.

Jim Rembach: It is but I can tell you…I have the opportunity to have a couple conversations with you and we’d exchange e-mails, I had an opportunity to preview the book. You’re a person of inspiration in lot of ways and so that means for me I know that you’re seeking it too and then you just share a lot of that and how you go about seeking it. And so we look at quotes to help inspire us, is are quote or two that you can share with us that inspires you?

Mark Nathan: Yeah. I love the quote real simple but I just love the simple quote, “Write the future.” And it’s really something that’s in your control. I think everyone thinks the future is something that is out of your control and it’s something that dwells long as this happens or maybe if this happens and if the company is doing well, or maybe if I get this this raise, maybe if this happens and it just puts you in the passenger seat in your own life, you’re constantly waiting for other things to happen so that your life can now begin, you’re waiting for other things to develop so then you can finally move forward. And really you’re fully a thousand percent in control of how your story plays out. And maybe it was just the film background and theatre background and just seeing stories unfold that’s what you do when you’re in that world you’re telling stories that’s what it is. But you see stories develop and if you’re just seeing your own life and your own story and your own career, your own path as a story, we’ll your fully in control. So that means what you’re doing right now is a chapter that sets up the next chapter and when I really started understanding that and really thinking about life, like the story that I’m writing it took me out of the passenger seat and put me in the driver seat of my own life.

Jim Rembach: That’s a great perspective. You and I had the opportunity to talk a little bit and you’re mentioning something about your presidential aspirations and even your brother, the Catholic priest, learning multiple language and what his aspiration is. And you shared something with your father and he had a reply but I think you…share with the audience.

Mark Nathan: Oh, yeah, my dad’s fine. My dad’s a Burmese immigrant and just super blunt and all this kind of things but my brother, who’s a Catholic priest, was a breakdancing Catholic priest, and he was pretty excellent if you’re looking for a good way to entertain yourself for a few minutes. If you search YouTube for probably great breakdancing priest or something—awe were on Family Feud as a family, me and my brother, my sister, my wife and all that kind of stuff. And so we were on Family Feud and my brother is literally dancing circles around Steve Harvey and he’s got the whole priest garb the whole deal. He’s developing—he’s on his, third-fourth—moving on fifth language now and I call it his Pope training because in my head he’s going to be Pope. That’s not his goal and his aspiration, he’s on God’s plan so am I quite honestly. But he doesn’t have ambitions to be Pope necessarily but he’s learning a bunch of languages so in my head that’s what you do when you’re a Pope, you have to be able to speak 70 languages and so I’m running for president in 2040, I appreciate your vote if your listening, obviously there’s a couple of more chapters between now and then. But with that I told my dad, “Dad you realize at some point you may have a son, one son that’s Pope, and one some that’s President. Do you understand that Dad?” My dad just replies, “Mark you are sick. You are mentally unstable.” That may be true dad. But as Jim was saying now, the great ones are.

Jim Rembach: It is true. We often, especially from a posthumous perspective we only hear about the greatness of some of this folks. But the fact is if you look at their day and age they were considered loonies.

Mark Nathan: They may have been. Yeah, there’s a lot of people they just way have a curve one thing to talk about in the book. David in one of his chapters, he just talks about how many people hated Martin Luther King, just the percentages while he was alive, it was 60% -70% disapproval rate no one like the guy. If you look back now it’s kind of what you’re talking about.

Jim Rembach: Yeah. And I heard a perspective on kind of what you’re talking about with Martin Luther King and those people who were pushing the norm and what the societal mindset is at that time and they’re referring about Colin Kaepernick sitting down during the national anthem and during the NFL games. It opened up my eyes to something that I didn’t see because initially I saw somebody who was totally disrespecting our country and it really calls me to step back and say hmmm maybe there’s something different here. And I think what you just said about Martin Luther King is a great point. Is it ahead of the curve and getting labelled as looney and then everybody else jumping on that band wagon? Is that keeping us from moving forward it’s not just side stepping it’s back stepping, re-back stepping too much when we do those types of things? I really appreciate you sharing that and giving me the opportunity to share that about Colin Kaepernick because when I first saw it, I was upset. I was really upset and heard that different perspective and even talking about how there’s a verse of the Star Spangled Banner which we don’t sing which talks about the killing of slaves in D.C. So, there’s just a lot of things we don’t know about because they’ve kind of been lost in history that really we shouldn’t just to conclusion, so thanks.

Mark Nathan: And I think the biggest thing that people have to remember about respect or open mindedness is that that’s not limited to one specific point of view respect is respect, open-mindedness is open-mindedness. It’s so funny there’s a lot of people that constantly are just yelling at other people for not being open-minded but their yelling at people mainly because they don’t agree with that. it’s like, oh, what I believe is open-minded and if you don’t believe that your close minded—well open-mindedness means that you can believe what you believe absolutely but that also means that that person has the right to believe what they believe and you don’t have to agree but you don’t have to be offensive while you’re doing it. You don’t have to agree but accepting that they can believe what they believe is important to the dialog. While I don’t necessarily agree with how Colin Kaepernick has been handling all of it, as if I’m going to yell at him about being respectful, well, I should also respect him and the choices that his making as well. And people turn things really personal, really fast and this ideas of open-mindedness and respect and love these are ideas that are important to apply no matter whether or not you agree with someone or agree with them wholeheartedly or not. You don’t have to agree with them but accepting them is important.

Jim Rembach: I think it’s a great point. I know that when you start referring to the side stepping, taking different pass, making decisions when you first had done the pre-med and saying, “hey, that’s not the path going to the theatre…all of these different things, there’s humps that we need to get over and it causes us to ultimately move forward, if we make that choice and you’ve done that in a lot of way. First of all you already have my vote, I appreciate it. But can you share a story about the time when you’ve had to get over the hump and it really helped you move forward faster?

Mark Nathan: Yeah, sure. There’s 17 million but I remember getting—when I was transitioning into focusing a lot more of my time on business versus the arts. It was really difficult because when you’re not just doing something for work it becomes who you are, it becomes part of your identity, it becomes how you introduce yourself and how people know you and especially with the world of social media how people know people know who you are very quickly they can search back for years and months and know who you are and you been up to this point. And so when I built my young career as an actor and being in the film world and that was something I was really, really excited about doing and then when I started moving more into the entrepreneurial world it was a little difficult to let that go.

And it was more than just, what are you doing for work, it’s almost like you feel like you’re leaving part of you behind. Or you feel like, what if I never come back to that? You hear about all these stories about people that had dreams and then they started doing other things and then in 50 years later they’re just this the little flicker of a dream alongside of them wishing they would’ve done wishing they would have done that. And I just didn’t want to be that person I don’t want to be the person full of regrets of a lot of things that I wish I would’ve done or wished I would’ve stuck with. But what gave me a lot of solace and especially now looking back on it, you know if you abandon things or you leave things because you don’t have a plan or it’s just based on your life circumstances or whatever that’s when you have regret. You regret things when you leave things but it’s not a real choice, it’s not your choice someone else’s choice or whatever. And when I started looking at my life like there’s just this chapters, there’s this chapter of my life that I’m focused on. There’s a chapter of my life that called best, there’s a chapter in life I’m learning this skills and developing this part of me. We’ll that also doesn’t mean that you can’t, later on in another traffic come back to it. Now that I’m a lot more financially stable, I got a couple of more business goals that I’m trying to accomplish for some of the products that I’m working on but I’m really excited about getting back into the directing and producing world.

But now I’m going to able to do it with a lot of more financial stability, a lot more security. And being able to tell the stories I want, but you know, a couple of chapter’s later, right? And so a lot of people they leave chapters of their life behind but you know it’s a couple chapters later right and so a lot of people the lease chapters of your life behind or what not but they don’t really have a plan in which to get to it if that’s something that’s really important to them. And I think it was really helpful to just see my life as okay there’s chapters and whatever chapter you’re in focus and give it everything you got. And you’ll learn as much you can while you’re in that chapter and ultimately there’s going to be another chapter. For me that gave me a lot of solace when I was transitioning, when I was moving from this to the other thing. It was good to know that my life is constantly developing still.

Jim Rembach: That’s a good perspective, the put it on chapters. And so when you start talking about the things that you’re looking at doing—film industry, becoming a father—that’s awesome.

Mark Nathan: My wife’s a redhead, so I’m hoping for little brown babies with red afros, that’s what I’m hoping for.

Jim Rembach: I’m praying for that for you my friend. Okay, when you start looking at all of those future chapters it goes back to what we were mentioning a moment ago—options you’ve got a tone of options, so if you were to start thinking about one goal, how do you chunk this down? What would be one goal in those future chapters?

Mark Nathan: One goal in those future chapter—we’ll looking back on it the chapter I was really focused on a couple of chapters ago, the one major thing for me was being financially stable, being financially free to be able to make the choices that I wanted. Because I knew that was going to unlock a lot of the other sets, right? And so, that’s why when I left the acting world and I left the artistic world, I enjoy doing it but I didn’t really enjoy auditioning for some random commercial holding some random product that’s not why I was an actor, I was an actor because I enjoy telling stories that I cared about, and so really I wanted to be financially stable so I could have a lot more control over the things that I did. And with the business chapter of my life here we’ve been able to meet a lot of great people and accomplish some pretty cool things so far, but we’re totally not done, we’re completely excited about continuing to develop a lot of this entrepreneurial muscles so that as we move in to the film world there’s just a lot more independence, there’s a lot more solvency, you know you have to depend on everyone to do everything for you. So, this next couple of chapters are obviously fatherhood’s really excited as well, and I’m really excited about that. But financial freedom was really important and this previous chapters and right now kind of wrapping up and developing this business savvy, cause everything politics there’s a lot of business that are running the country if that’s the path we end up going on. There’s a—you know, when you understand how you run it like a business, an effective business and a business that takes care of it’s people and its constituents and its clients, it’s going to work out well for you. So, to me wrapping up this chapter well and continuing to develop that muscle is really important to me.

Jim Rembach: And the Fast Leader Legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on, let’s get a quick word from our sponsor:

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Jim Rembach: Alright, here we go Fast Leader Legion, it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay Mark, the Hump Day Hoedown is the part of our show where you give us good insights fast. So, I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us robust yet rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Mark Nathan are you ready to hoedown?

Mark Nathan: Let’s hoedown.

Jim Rembach: Alright. What do you think is holding you back from being even better today?

Mark Nathan: Without a doubt wanting to move on too fast. I think after you start seeing some of the rewards in anything you doing you try to move on to the next stage or the next chapter and how this types of things you stop doing the thing that got you there. So whatever it is your industry if it’s just grinding, if it’s serving people whatever the work is to getting things built the wanting to move on past that, too fast has been a struggle for sure.

Jim Rembach: What is the best leadership advice you have ever received?

Mark Nathan: Earn the next level of mentorship. And the keywords is earn. Everyone would love to be mentored by Michael Jordan playing basketball but even if you got that level you wouldn’t even know how to take advantage of the time. There’s no way you’ll be able to (25:44 inaudible) all of the things he brings to the table so just knowing that earning the next level mentorship—the mentors have gotten my life for now, there’s things I can learn once I master those things doors are going to open up, opportunities are going to open up and I can earn the next level of mentorship.

Jim Rembach: What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

Mark Nathan: Whatever you want you have to be willing to give it away. And if you want more time in your life—I can’t remember I move you once but I think maybe it was—heaven almighty whatever Bruce Almighty, but they talk about—if you want to be a more patient person be ready for someone to show up in your life that will test your patience. Whatever you want you got to have an opportunity to prove that. And so, whatever you’re wanting in life, if it’s more money, we’ll you going to have an opportunity to invest your money in something. If you want time you’re going to be willing to invest your time people so that they can take things over for you so you can have the time you want. Whatever you want you’ve got to be willing to give it away. And it also separates from the love of it too something you haven’t doesn’t ruin you.

Jim Rembach: What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

Mark Nathan: I think for me it’s this idea of convergence. So, if you just think about your eyes, you have two eyes so it’s focus on the thing, but just having two eyes focus on a thing gives you so much more depth, it give you so much clarity, it gives you broader spectrum and so what I think I’ve always been good at is the multiple things at are on our play whether it’s relationships here, this project over here, being able to take things I learn from one arena and apply the same principles or apply the intangibles or whatever I learn over here, I apply into the other arena and I apply this over hear and I learn this lesson over here where I learn in a completely different context. But how can I benefit this project from other things that I been doing.

Jim Rembach: Okay Mark, what would be one book that you’d recommend to our listeners, and it could be from any genre?

Mark Nathan: There’s a book called “Bringing out the Best in People” that I think was pretty huge and helpful because as an actor you get very self-focused, as a leader and someone that’s very much an organizer and driver and maximizer all those types of things it’s very much about—I tended to default to being very self-focused. And if I’m working with a group they tended to be—a way that I can accomplish the things I want. But really if you’re going to lead that’s bringing out the best in all the people that around you and not focused unbelievably helpful.

Jim Rembach: Okay, Fast Leader Legion you could find links to that and other bonus information from today show by going to fastleader.net/Mark Nathan and we will also put a link to, Delusion of Passion: Why Millennial Struggle to Find Success. Okay Mark, this is my last hump day hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 19 and you have been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything you can only choose one, what skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

Mark Nathan: For me I would bring back the balancing skills, I think everyone got something they’re good at but then there’s something that could be a good balance if they develop. My wife she is like all heart. So, when she developed the pragmatic business sense of her, she became a pretty huge force. When you got friends that are great team players but then they have to learn to develop the ownership and the expertise to really be able to lead. For me, was always want to work hard, I have a lot of drive and a lot of big plans but with just the humility and the servitude that you have to go through the grind of just giving and serving and taking care of the people around you—you know a mantle of leadership as an opportunity serve more people, period case close. That’s something I learn over five, ten, fiftieth years plus and if I could bring something back with me it would be that because for me that was the balancing skill set that kind of rounded out Mark Nathan.

Jim Rembach: Mark it was an honor to spend time with you today. Can you please share with the Fast Leader Legion how they can connect with you?

Mark Nathan: Absolutely. If you want to connect with me, you can find me at marknathan.me or you can check out the book at thedelusionofpassion.com and we available on Amazon and e-book and audio book in every way possible on the planet, you can find us there and I appreciate your support. Thanks for having me on, Jim.

Jim Rembach: Mark Nathan, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom, the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

END OF AUDIO

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