limiting beliefs

011: Honoree Corder: You need to speak

Intro: Welcome to the Fast Leader Podcast, where we explore convenient yet effective shortcuts that will help you get ahead and move forward faster by becoming a better leader. And now here’s your host, customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligent practitioner, Jim Rembach.

Jim Rembach:     Thanks Kimberly. Alright Fast Leader legion, the person who I have on our show today is somebody has overcome a lot of obstacles in life and did not allow that to stop her from being the person that she is today and impacting so many others. Her name is Honoree Corder that has a French origin to it. It’s spelled like Honoree, however it’s Honoray so we want to make sure that we get that right for her when you reference her and tell other people about this awesome show that you’re getting ready to participate in today.

Honoree was on a farm near Salem Center, Ohio and in Albuquerque, New Mexico by traditionally educated yet very entrepreneurial parents. She was a foster kid and child home resident and attended four high schools which helped her become very good at meeting new people, adapting to new environments and learning to be extremely flexible. While she didn’t attend college she overcame her childhood challenges and became a successful entrepreneur by becoming a voracious reader and student of human behavior with an unstoppable positive attitude. Honoree has gone on to write several books and be a coach and inspiration to many. Honoree Corder, are you ready to help us get over the hump?

Honoree Corder:     You bet, absolutely.

Jim Rembach:      Fantastic. Now, I’ve given our listeners a brief introduction about you, but can you please tell us, what is your current passion so that we can get to know you better?

Honoree Corder:     Great.  My current passion is helping people to have a complete transformation and live the life that they thought was only possible but is actually really possible. 

Jim Rembach:     What does that really mean? A lot of times we look to others to have us—idea of what that would be for us and we often spend really a lifetime searching. So, what does that mean?

Honoree Corder:     My work with people is—as an executive and business coach, but that is not entirely accurate everyone wants a title, right? What I do is—my tagline is: “I double your income and triple your time off.” But actually, what I wanted to do is get my get grabby mitts on people and help them to see themselves as I see them with all of the potential and all the promise that their life holds. So I help them to make the most out of their business, I help them to make the most of their thought processes, out of their  physical body, their emotional intelligence all of those things. I work with people from sea level to 30,000 feet.

Jim Rembach:     As I listen to you talk there was a comment that I read by somebody who was an author of a leadership book. And he was referring to how certain responses are given or provided by others, the way that they behave, he was talking about a large number of people, and he said, some people are just so stupid. And I’m like, “Really, this came from an author of a leadership book”? So, you mentioned something about you seeing that in other people, is that something that can be seen and found in a lot of people or is it really just a small subset?

Honoree Corder:      I think everyone is born with the seeds of greatness within them. I think there’s one partner turn in one part nature and I think some people buy into the fact that they can be great and amazing and terrific and so they are. Some people buy into the message from whoever they get it from whether it’s their parents or their friends or their teachers that are not all that smart, they’re not all that capable and they live in to that and that breaks my heart. 

Jim Rembach:     You know, kind of funny having three smaller kids, I have a middle schooler and two elementary so it’s 11,9, & 6 talking about this—what we do as adults and molding what they think about themselves. First of all, we know that from a personality perspective, people are wired a certain way and then we accentuate that and sometimes not in the best ways.  And there is a fascinating book that I read many years ago and it has guided me in a lot of ways, it’s a book called Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. 

She talks about many of the things that you just mentioned. For example, and it’s so commonplace but we see that we do it often like you never should tell a child, ‘you’re smart’. Because what’s the opposite of that? So, if you’re not smart then that means you’re dumb. So, what we should talk to them about is the effort that they put it. We should talk to them about the details of their work and how you appreciate the fact that they really focused in on this and did a great job on that. And then that ultimately will result in you having greater knowledge, and things like that, and that will what makes you smart. But telling somebody directly—you’re smart—it may seem like a compliment but it’s the opposite that is really a bad thing.

Honoree Corder:     Interesting. I think that there’s the behavior in there as a person. Most of the times people are not their behavior. So, when I’m educating my daughter on behavior, I will say, “I love you and you’re wonderful and amazing just as you are.” The choice that you made, I’m not exactly excited about that choice that you made, but that doesn’t define who you are. Just as what someone does for a living is not who they are, that’s what they do, but a lot of people put stock in, “I am this as opposed to I do this.”

Jim Rembach:     That’s fantastic. I appreciate the dialogue that we’ve had there’s so much insight and we can probably make this in our show but we got a move forward. On the Fast Leader show we always talk about inspiration and things that can give us a reminding and a grounding rod, we talk a lot about leadership quotes. Is there a quote or two or maybe even a passage that stands out for you as something that always reminds you, to say, reset yourself or change your mindset so that you can move forward, can you share that with us, please?

Honoree Corder:     Sure. I’m a huge fan of Napoleon Hill and in both of my favorite books, [Laugh] that he has written, “Think and Grow Rich and the Law of Success,” he has something called the self- confidence formula. And  20 something years ago, when I read, Thinking Grow Rich for the first time, I memorize, at his suggestion, the self-confidence formula and said it over and over and over again. It is something that I’m including in a new book that I’m writing, I’m referencing that material because I think it’s so important for people to know that it’s there. 

It’s interesting because we live in a time where there’s a new great book available every minute. As I was telling someone yesterday, they’re the self-help classics, they’re the foundations to all of the work that all of us who write books refer to and defer to in our work and that book “Think and Grow Rich” and it’s also in the Law of Success as well that self-confidence formula those words that you’re saying to yourself, if not the passage it’s the idea that I can reset, I can go back and reference that and push the reset button and start back from that place of power, that’s my recommendation. 

Jim Rembach:    Was the passage in their as you we’re explaining to it? 

Honoree Corder:     It’s the self-confidence formula. I have the talent and skills and abilities to create anything that I desire but I have to be committed, I have to take the action is the gist of it, it’s a multi-paragraph formula, that whole entire passage is—I don’t know if you’ve seen it, it’s like five or six paragraphs that you commit to memory and then repeat aloud once a day until you embody that, and that’s the passage that I refer to.

Jim Rembach:     That’s perfect. What we can do is we can put that on our show notes page for those who have not had the opportunity to review that. And that show notes page are going to be at fastleader.net/Honoree Corder. So, we talked a little bit about mindset in overcoming a lot of obstacles in life and we talked about epiphanies and few other people say Aha’s, is there a moment in your life when you’ve had an epiphany or maybe something that occurred that later you had an epiphany about that has guided you as a person, to be the person you are and positively impact so many that you’ve impacted so far and are yet to impact, can you please share that story with us?

Honoree Corder:     Absolutely. I took a public speaking class in 1997 and my instructor was teaching us through a four week evening class, she was a friend of mine and profane 1995 cell glycolic out and start their life teaching after a four-week evening class—she was a friend of mine, she’s was a presentation coach—and she invited me to take her class and I took the class she would have us get out and give this presentations and then give us feedback. One of the things she said to me was’” Honoree you need to speak, if you don’t speak people are missing out. And I heard it but I didn’t hear. It wasn’t until years when I was asked to begin speaking and I started speaking more and more. People would say, “I really appreciated the thing you said about” or “I hear your voice in my head telling me I can do something when I didn’t think that I can do it.” My own voice in my head is telling me that I can do that and I realize that’s exactly the gift that she gave to me. So there’s something very powerful, the epiphany for me is that there is this opportunity that we all have to speak words to people and that you have to be very careful about what you say. You have to speak words, like I have to say to my daughter, “It’s what you did it’s not who you are.” And I tell my clients and my readers and people that I come into contact with that you are capable of anything you put your mind, here you have no limitations the only limitations you have are the ones that you hold on to and that you make up in your mind, that was my epiphany. Those words the people speak in to us, we may not even live in to that till years and years later. So things that I am saying now may no come to fruition until much later but I am so intentional and purposeful in what I say because I want to speak words of life and possibility and hope into people. 

Jim Rembach:    First of all, thank you for sharing that. You mentioned something about, it’s taking time for you to realize what you she was telling you. Sometimes it can take a lifetime for us to finally click, for some of us, at least me I should say—but if you we’re to  give a piece of advice to the Fast Leader legion about that particular story, what would you tell them about, not listening but really “listening”?

Honoree Corder:     I think we get, and I have this deal with God, if you send me the feather, send me the feather again.” I think the message is come repeated messages that were supposed to get. At first they come quietly so it’s the feather, the brick the book and then the mock truck. [Laugh] So my request is: “Could you send the feather a few times so that I hear the message.” But I think that there’s something that to each person that’s listening there’s a recurring theme in your life, there’s a recurring message that is meant to get to you. And the sooner you listen then the sooner you get the message. The sooner you get action on it the better for you. Because playing small doesn’t serve the world not owning your greatness doesn’t serve the world, it doesn’t serve you, so that’s my advice. If there’s a recurring there, if there’s something you’ve heard over and over again, listen to that. The first person that said to me, “Your voice in my head telling me I can do it, I’ve chosen to listen to that and make it louder than the voice in my head telling me that I can’t do it.” And that was the moment where I recognize that I was able to speak words of possibility and help in encouragement into people and it was my job to do that. But it took me a long time to own that and to do it even though I started hearing that message in my early 20’s. It took me a long time to own that so we all have these messages that come us hear them sooner, that’s my advice. 

Jim Rembach:      There’s another keyword that you she said in there that I often repeat back to a lot of folks because here in the Fast Leader show we’re talking about redefining what leadership is, the fact is that, we all have to lead. If we don’t do a good job of leading ourselves there is no way possible in this world that we’ll be able to lead others. We’ll be even looked at to be someone who can lead others. I think for me, I’ve often looked at certain folks and say:” You know what, I would love to be on their team because I want to be on the team for that person so that they can lead me.” Ownership is a really critical part of our day-to-day life. And many of us just squander through. And many times, for me, through certain days, certain times of the day, certain weeks of the month, I don’t necessarily own things, right? And so I need to do better job of hunkering down, as they say and owning things more, thank you for that piece of advice. 

If you could, tell us a little bit about the current work that you’re doing, you mentioned about writing a book, what really excites you and gives you energy because you’ve given us broad scope of helping others, but what specifically is the thing that charges you?

Honoree Corder:     There are two things. One is when I’m working one-on-one with someone and they tell me that they have become a new person through our work together, that is just the coolest thing ever. And so maybe you want me to expand on that a little bit. What I do is speak words into people, give them permission to do the things that they want to do. It’s everything from the very simple—if you want to do business with someone, ask them. If you want to write a state plan, or you want to handle their legal matters, their M&A transactions, pick up the phone and say, “This is my area of genius, I am awesome at this, I would love to serve you in this way,” take ownership of your greatness in that way. In my work with people that is my focus, helping them to figure out the thing that gives them the juice and help them to do more of that. 

The other thing that happens now, every single day, which is super cool because it’s kind of my—I was listening to a podcast yesterday and someone said, ‘Reading books for you is like giving a heroin addict a pound of heroin.” And I thought, “Oh! That’s so me, I’m such a nerd for that. But because I have read in several books, I now get a message every single day from a reader who said, ‘I found your book just in the nick of time and it change the trajectory of my life.” I think that was so amazing and humbling, that the words that I write in isolation and I have this avatar of this person that I want to read my words and to feel better about their life and about their future, that is coming back to me through Facebook messages and e-mails. I got one in the mail yesterday, like someone actually sent me a letter with a stamp on it, and I was said, “Really, that’s awesome, I love that.

Jim Rembach:      That’s definitely going the extra mile to give you feedback these days.

Honoree Corder:     Absolutely.

Jim Rembach:     What goals do you have for the future? 

Honoree Corder:     Oh! Gosh. I have a few books to write this year on my-to-do list. My family—are goal is to go mobile by the middle of year next year. So, we’re going to be living mobile, travelling around, staying in different places and not having an actual home but being homeless on purpose, being virtual, so we’re working for that. 

Jim Rembach:     We might have to do a follow up show on that, that’s amazing thought. For me, I think we’d have to have 15 garage sales before we even…

Honoree Corder:     Actually, we have had the first several phases of that process, the process of going from the big house to the little place to live. And then looking through everything and saying, ‘Do I really need this thing that I held on to? It’s like, ‘Someone gave me this beautiful Waterford Crystal, actually they were Tiffany candle holders years ago, and I never put candles on then because they were from Tiffany’s I don’t want to get smut on them. I never light any candles in them, I just dusted them and carry them around— and them we’re heavy because they’re from Tiffany. And so I finally just said, ‘This need a new home, someone else needs to dust this and someone else who has a little less—whatever—anxiety about getting some soot on a candle. [Laugh] But we’ve gone through the layers of it and now everything we do is, ‘What is it that we need to do in order to live this life of abundance and travel and just running around and being free in finding all of that. 

Jim Rembach:     That’s awesome.  Hopefully somebody will buy those Tiffany candles and put them in their storage facility. [Laugh] Alright, the entire Fast Leader legion wishes you the very best on everything that you’re targeting for your future. Alright, gang, now it’s time to move on to the rapid pace part of our show and that’s the—Hump Day Hoedown. Alright, Fast Leader listeners this is the time where we ask Honoree several questions and she gives us fast answers so that we can move onward and upward faster. Honoree are you ready to hoedown?

Honoree Corder:     I’m ready, fast, quickly. 

Jim Rembach:   Spoken like a Texan, alright. What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today? 

Honoree Corder:     Limiting beliefs with everybody. I’m the same as everybody else, I have limiting beliefs and I’m working on getting rid of those and expanding my consciousness every single day. 

Jim Rembach:     What’s the best leadership advice you have every received?

Honoree Corder:     That being a leader of self is the best way to be a leader of others. 

Jim Rembach:     What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

Honoree Corder:     Extreme self-care.

Jim Rembach:     We may have to elaborate that on another show. What do you feel is one of your best resources that helps you lead in business or life?

Honoree Corder:     My network. I have a really great group of people that I rely on to help me to work through ideas and strategies and challenges and that’s your peer group, your relationships or the people that you rely on when you need move forward or get unstuck or whatever. 

Jim Rembach:     That sounds like a Napoleon Hill influence at well. What would be one book that you would recommend to our listeners? Other than your own.

Honoree Corder:     Oh! Gosh. I listen to your other podcasts and I thought to myself, and each time, how can you recommend only one book. So, I’m going to go with ‘The Miracle Morning”. Because I already mentioned my other two favorites. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, life changer—I don’t know if you of that book or you know about Hal but that is a favorite book. And then, I’m just going to say that on my website I have my favorite books. So, if you want to know the rest of them, they’re not even all on there but it’s a good start. 

Jim Rembach:     Alright, Fast Leader listeners, you can find links to that book and many others again on our show notes page and that’s going to be at fastleader.net/Honoree Corder. And Honoree you even have a special gift for our listeners, don’t you? Tell us a little bit about that.

Honoree Corder:     I have not one but two gifts, cause that’s how I roll.  

Jim Rembach:     Awesome. 

Honoree Corder:      So, if you go to honoreecorder/podcast you can get a free copy of my first book that went to get croissant and antiviral they’ll actually go to and honor rate quarter/pod cast eating that are actually/podcast you can actually get a free copy of my first book, Tall Order. And you can also get two free chapters of my book Vision to Reality. 

Jim Rembach:     Fantastic. We appreciate those gifts and we look forward to reading those and more coming from you in the future. So, now to last question of the Hump Day Hoedown: Imagine you  woke up tomorrow morning and you were 25 years old all over again but you are blessed you have the opportunity to keep everything that you know today with you. You are given the responsibility to manage a team that’s underperforming and disengage. Your job is to turn these folks around. Now, you get up in the morning you realize what happened you head out to work, what do you do now?

 Honoree Corder:     First of all, I’m a little offended that you don’t think that I’m 25, but we’ll just going to skip right over that. [Laugh] I am going to find out each of my teams ‘whys’. Why are they coming to work? What did they want most in the world? And if where they need to be is on that team and moving forward, I’m going to help them to live into their potential and take ownership of their greatness and come up with a plan and a vision and move themselves forward. And if they don’t need to be there, then I’m going to help them find their right path and have a transformation because that’s what I do. 

Jim Rembach:     That’s awesome. Honoree, it was an honor to spend time with you today, please share with the Fast Leader legion how that they can connect with you?

Honoree Corder:     honoreecorder.com. 

Jim Rembach:     Perfect. Honoree, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for helping us get over the hump. Woot, Woot!

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show, special offers and access to download and surprise, if you haven’t already, head on over to the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster. 

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