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Brian Biro The breakthrough coach

144: Brian Biro: I’m no good because I’m never the best

Brian Biro Show Notes Page

Brian Biro was down on himself. He had a drive to be the best at whatever he did. He was very intense and was no fun to play with. That’s when he decided to change one word and it helped him to move onward and upward faster.

Brian is the author of 11 books including bestseller, Beyond Success!

Brian was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California along with his older sister Katlin.

His mother and father have been married for 65 years and live in Lake Tahoe.  His dad was in the LAPD and after retiring and moving to Tahoe has carved wooden signs for 40+ years.  His mom was the receptionist in a pediatrician’s office for 20 years and then became the curator of a little museum in Tahoe for another 20+ years.

Growing up his parents taught him about work ethic, honesty, and energy.  He was always involved in sports and swam competitively through school. In order to pay for his tuition to Stanford University, he began teaching and coaching swimming in the summers.

Brian absolutely loved teaching swimming and realized early on that he didn’t really coach swimming… he coached PEOPLE! That path led him to his greatest professional passion, which is helping others breakthrough fears, obstacles, habits, and beliefs that keep them from their potential.

Upon graduating from Stanford Brian returned to Southern California to become a swimming coach. He coached full-time for 8 years and had the joy of building one of the largest swim teams in America.

After coaching, Brian attended the UCLA Graduate School of Business. There he met his soon to be wife Carole during a summer internship in Seattle.

Brian was hired by the company for whom he had interned and rapidly rose to Vice President. He began teaching teambuilding programs in his company and generating record results.  More importantly, they broke through silos and became a terrific place to work.

Despite enormous success, Brian said to Carole…”Honey, we’re doing great! Let’s QUIT!  I want to speak and teach!” Carole is AMAZING and said, “Let’s do it!” He’s been a professional speaker now for 27 years, delivered more than 1,600 presentations worldwide, written 11 books, and loved every minute!

Brian and Carole now live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina! They have two grown daughters and one grandson.

Tweetable Quotes and Mentions

Listen to @bbiro to get over the hump on the @FastLeaderShow Click to Tweet

“Start to look at the possibility instead of the limit.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Enhance the value you get in every precious moment.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“You’ve got no idea what you’ve got inside of you.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Rarely do we rise to our actual level of potential.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“There are no overachievers, we’re all underachievers.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“You would not be who you are had you not seized the window of opportunity.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“You have to shape the future or you’re going to be behind” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“We should not be scared of differences, we should be excited.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Invite people to hear other voices and see other concepts, that’s when we grow.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“What you focus on is what you create.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“What can I learn from today to make it different and better tomorrow?” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“We are too focused on the need for approval.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“You should get the joy from what you’re doing.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Credit is something we should give, responsibility is something we should take.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Receiving is allowing people to feel the joy of giving.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“If you don’t receive well, you take away their joy.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“You’ll never really be a giver until you learn to receive.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“When you’re driven by the need for approval, you never have enough.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Everyone has their own potential.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“If you coach everybody the same you’re lazy and you’re not going to be as effective.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Coach everyone based on their unique qualities and differences.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“The meaning of my communication is the response I get.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Our energy is our example.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“The biggest sense of who you are comes from your energy.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“The quality of questions you ask yourself will determine the quality of your life.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“When you are hard to offend you open up the possibility to connect and communicate.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“Comfort zones almost immediately become confinement zones.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“My energy is my choice.” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

“When you give the answers, you stop people from discovering their own learning” -Brian Biro Click to Tweet 

Hump to Get Over

Brian Biro was down on himself. He had a drive to be the best at whatever he did. He was very intense and was no fun to play with. That’s when he decided to change one word and it helped him to move onward and upward faster.

Advice for others

Ask more then tell. When you give the answers, you stop people from discovering their own learning.

Holding him back from being an even better leader

Getting caught in comfort zones.

Best Leadership Advice

It’s amazing what’s accomplished when no one gets the credit.

Secret to Success

I love people and I believe in people. And my energy is my choice.

Best tools that helps in Business or Life

Being fully present.

Recommended Reading

There Are No Overachievers: Seizing Your Windows of Opportunity to Do More Than You Thought Possible

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption

Man’s Search for Meaning

Contacting Brian Biro

Website: http://www.brianbiro.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbiro

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brian-biro-3b34776/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bbiro

Resources and Show Mentions

Developing a Better Place to Work

Increase Employee Engagement and Workplace Culture

Empathy Mapping

54 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Competencies List: Emotional Intelligence has proven to be the right kind of intelligence to have if you want to move onward and upward faster. Get your free list today.

 

Show Transcript: 

Click to access edited transcript

144: Brian Biro: I’m no good because I’m never the best

Intro:  Welcome to the Fast Leader podcast where we explore convenient yet effective shortcuts that will help you get ahead and move forward faster by becoming a better leader. And now here’s your host customer and employee engagement expert and certified emotional intelligence practitioner, Jim Rembach.

The number one thing that contributes to customer loyalty is emotions. So move onward and upward faster by gaining significantly deeper insight and understanding of your customer journey and personas with emotional intelligence. With your empathy mapping workshop you’ll learn how to evoke and influence the right customer emotions that generate improve customer loyalty and reduce your cost to operate. Get over your emotional hump now by going to empathymapping.com to learn more. 

Jim Rembach:   Okay Fast Little legion, today I’m excited because I get the opportunity to talk to somebody who’s going to teach me some new terminology as well as some ways to find new energy. Brian Biro is the author of books including the bestseller Beyond Success. Brian was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California along with his older sister Caitlin. His mother and father have been married for 65 years and live in Lake Tahoe. His dad was in the Los Angeles Peace Department and after retiring and moving to Tahoe has carved wooden signs for 40 years. His mom was the receptionist in a pediatrician’s office for 20 years and then became the curator of a little museum in Tahoe for another 20 years. Growing up his parents taught him about work ethic honesty and energy. He was always involved in sports and swam competitively through school. In order to pay for his tuition to Stanford University he began teaching and coaching swimming in the summertime. Brian absolutely loved teaching swimming and realized early on that he didn’t really coach swimming he coached people that path led him to his greatest professional passion which is helping others break through fears obstacles, habits and beliefs that keep them from their potential.

Upon graduating from Stanford, Brian returned to Southern California to become a swimming coach. He coached full-time for eight years and had the joy of building one of the largest swim teams in America. After coaching Brian attended the UCLA Graduate School of Business there he met his soon-to-be wife Carol during a summer internship in Seattle. Ryan was hired by the company for whom he had interned and rapidly rose to Vice-President. He began teaching team building programs in his company and generating record results more importantly they broke through silos and became a terrific place to work. Despite enormous success, Brian said to, “Carol, honey we’re doing great let’s quit I want to teach and speak.” Carol said, “Of course, let’s do it.” And he’s been a professional speaker for 27 years delivering more 1,600 than presentations worldwide, written 11 books and loved every minute. Brian and Carol now live in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina. They have two grown daughters and one grandson. Brian Biro, are you ready to help us get over the hump? 

Brian Biro:   I’m ready to rock n’ roll Jim. That’s great you had to deal with Brian Biro’s bio, you did a masterful job.

Jim Rembach:   Hey man, I’m glad you said that because I don’t think I could.

Brian Biro:   I can do it three times so just once this is it. 

Jim Rembach:   I’ve given our Legion a little bit about you can you tell us what your current passion is so that we get to know you even better?

Brian Biro:   Absolutely, I love helping people break through that’s really been the force of what I’ve done in every career but breaking through getting people to start to look at the possibility instead of the limit look beyond the obstacle. It was really about helping people make great choices that enhance their health, enhance their careers, enhance their families and enhance the value you get in every precious moment. 

Jim Rembach:   Well I hear you say that but then I got a little bit confused when I look at your latest title which is that there are no overachievers now either that’s brilliant marketing or something else, I mean to me I’m like, what do you mean there’s no overachievers?  I mean I’m sitting here trying to help my kids achieve and over achieve and exceed but you’re saying there aren’t any of those types of folks I don’t get it.

Brian Biro:   Jim, that came from the actual sense there are no overachievers came from my mentor, my friend who wrote the foreword to my first book, who is the greatest college basketball coach of all time his name was John Wooden, coach Wooden coached the UCLA. He won ten national championships. He often said there are no overachievers and what he was saying is you have no idea what you’ve got inside of you. Rarely do we actually rise to our level or potential. So the purpose of that title is to kind of shake it up, I’m glad I shook you up a little bit to say, hey you know what? Maybe I can do things I didn’t know I could do, maybe I could get better physical health, maybe I could learn that new skill, maybe I could relate better to my teenager, which may be the biggest challenge of all, in other words what he’s saying is do have more potential and there’s more in us than we ever dreamed of there are no overachievers we’re all under achievers and with that viewpoint we never feel like we reached the end.

Jim Rembach:   That’s a really interesting positioning and different context that you put it into. When you added that other part saying that we’re all underachievers, to me that resonates and I get that. However, probably it wasn’t as good of attractive book title but— you also talk about “woo”, what the heck is “woo”?

Brian Biro:   First of all it’s fun to say isn’t it? Woo stands for window of opportunity. I want to suggest that everyone listening to the show has the same most important “woo” right now, window of opportunity, it’s every precious moment. In other words, you never know it’s the next person you’ll meet today, I meet you today for the first time, I never know if we may become lifelong friends as we didn’t know we met our lifelong friends. You never know if the next time you talk to your son, your daughter, your coworker, your friend, something you say in the next conversation may be so on target for what that other person didn’t see with their own eyes but you saw it and then when you said it you sees the will. And because of something you said to another person their life sets off on a better trajectory. I’ll bet you everyone listening to the show has had somebody in their life who sees the “woo” believed in them in a moment when they won’t believe in that much in themselves and it changed their lives. So, the question is not is there a “woo”? There is. The question you got to ask yourself to shake it up and to breakthrough is how many of those puppies have we missed? How many windows of opportunity we missed in the last month along with the people we love the most? Why do we miss them? A lot of this book is about helping people seize those windows of opportunity instead of miss them.

Jim Rembach:   It’s really interesting as you say that as you did I started thinking about for me oftentimes I say that I’m stirring the pot, I always stir the pot. Because for me I think I somewhat you know carry around a “woo” stick. Meaning that I see windows of opportunity for folks and I’m like, hey and I tap them with it. I’m like, don’t you see that this is a potential opportunity for you. 

Brian Biro:   The great way to look at it. One of my favorite quotes came from Think and Grow Rich classic book. It said “Within every adversity is planted the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” I’ll say it, within every adversity is planted the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. Now everyone on this show I bet you if you look back in your life and you think of the toughest things you went through no fun in the process could have been really tough. But if you made it to the other side and you look back now bet you say, it was from those tough things that I grew the most. So, in other words you never would not be who you are had you not seized that window of opportunity made the way through. So, I love the fact that you do that. One of the hottest terms in business world today and all my speaking is to disrupt the status quo. In other words that shaking that woo stick and touching people with it saying it and if you don’t you’re going to fall behind. You have to shape the future or you’re going to be behind.

Jim Rembach:   For me I think you just helped me also draw some clarity and to why I put so much effort into doing the Fast Leader show. We’re sitting here with close to 150 episodes at this point and I have several organizations that—our PR companies that have clients that are pitching me their clients to be on the show and it’s gaining a lot of traction and which is exciting and everything but I’m always up here having to put things together, coordinate and turn my extra hours in the day, and there’s none by the way, like why am I doing this? But I think you just kind of explained it to me. I enjoy in giving people the chance to see things within themselves and to obtain and achieve things within themselves otherwise wouldn’t see and that’s where I get some fulfillment.

Brian Biro:   That’s exactly the whole focus of the (8:27 inaudible) I want people to see you can do more than you thought you could it’s the basis of what I do in my seminars to get people—actually, I have people do things that when they walk away—I don’t know I could do that—what else could I do that I didn’t know I could do? Maybe I could start that business, maybe I could turn this corner and maybe I could patent that idea. That’s what you’re doing with this podcast by hoping people to really explore different ideas, hear different voices. We should not be scared of differences we should be excited about differences because we only see what we see when you when you invite people to hear other voices and see other concepts that’s when we can grow.

Jim Rembach:   You’re right. Talking about doing some things that you otherwise wouldn’t think you would be able to do or even possible of doing. There’s one of these little tricks that you like to do when you’re public speaking that really—is one of those things that does just that. Tell us what it is? 

Brian Biro:   I’m called America’s breakthrough because I’ve had more than half a million people breakthrough. I had people in my seminars breakthrough one-inch thick board karate style and it’s not just for the fun of it though it is the most fun thing you’ll ever do in a seminar it’s a metaphor and it’s a powerful one. I have everyone write on their board something they want to break through. Fear, obstacle, habit or doubt, could be a fear of public speaking, could be something to do with their physical health, could be a relationship so it’s the greatest individual breakthrough experience. Because they get clear about this thing that’s been holding me back, procrastination about this thing I always wanted to do. On the other side, of the board they write down, when I’ve broken through that fear or that obstacle, when I’ve lost that way, when I’ve written that book, when I’ve started that business, what am I going to do, feel, create, ** my life because I’m no longer held back by that fear? I’ve got people bring their families back together and people conquered cancer I got people lose 125 lbs. and then people do things they didn’t know they can do because they got so clear. The team part is equally powerful because you’ll never see people cheer like they do in this board-breaking experience. I’m going to be doing one next month for 4,000 people and I’m telling you I’m going to left the city of Atlanta off the ground with the cheering we want each other to breakthrough. And when—say Jim, you’re in the circle of ten people breaking your board but other people going Jim, Jim, Jim, cheering like crazy. During that time all those other nine people or ten people they’re only focused on you some people have never been cheered for in their life and when they’re in that circle all that unconditional support lifts them to a level that they’ve never experienced for some people that is the greatest breakthrough of all.  So I love this experience because—really you don’t know you can breakthrough until you do it and that’s the way it is with life. We don’t know we can lose the weight until we do it. We don’t know if we can start the business until we do it, so I give that real experience. Confucius said, “When we hear we forget. When we see we remember but when we do we understand.” And so I like to give them that real breakthrough experience. 

Jim Rembach:   For those who have had the opportunity I’ll make sure we link to it on the show notes page. You’ve videotaped a couple of these sessions and seeing people who don’t initially breakthrough the board and when they finally breakthrough the board they must get giddy?

Brian Biro:   It’s amazing. And people go crazy that’s really the kind of the crescendo because the last people who break the boards are those who didn’t break it after three tries. I often say to them, “You’re the lucky ones.” And they look at me like, what? I said because you get to figure out what you changed in you to break through and then apply it in your life it’s uncanny how often it’s the same thing. I hesitated the key moments I focused on the obstacle instead of the breakthrough and so it was the same person, it was the same board you could have broken it the first time but you changed something do it in your life exactly the same way and it’s unbelievable how accurate it is.

Jim Rembach:   I started thinking when you started saying that and talking about so many of the things that we’re now finally learning about the way that our brains work and how it will take just very simple things like that and learn how to apply it in that other scenario in other words we can transfer it. How many people come back to you and say, guess what? 

Brian Biro:   Oh, yeah, I guess that’s one of the greatest thing it’s one of the most fun things about social media’s I get people broke their boards 20 years ago writing me now and saying, I did it. I can’t believe it, I started that business I wanted to start and it’s been going for 20 years they fund they come across the board and that’s the other thing it stays with you. What you focus on is what you create the great experience of that board breaking is to understand how powerful it is. If you focus on the board you get the board. If you focus on the breakthrough you’re amazed at how you can fly right through it.

Jim Rembach:   You mentioned a moment ago about one of a quotes that you like from Napoleon Hill, this whole board-breaking thing that’s very Napoleon Hill-ish if that is a way to describe it.

Brian Biro:   It really is. One of the things that I love to do Jim is—I’ve read a ton of biographies. People have accomplished great things in their lives that’s the basis of thinking getting rich incidentally that’s what he did he interviewed people who had great success they have some very powerful simple principles that are—who they become. One is they have extraordinary energy. Two is they’re optimist. They’re not unrealistic but they always feel that we can get better they always feel there’s more in them like there are no overachievers. And these could be people from widely different beliefs but those commonalities of energy of focusing on what you want more than what you don’t want and I’m absolutely positively coming from a place of we can we can grow we can do better. Those principles are really Napoleon Hill- ish but they’re basically the greatness that’s within us that allows us to move forward.

Jim Rembach:   One of the things I also found interesting is that a lot of those folks have also overcome some significant adversity so I guess you need to go out and create some adversities to get over in order—no, no, don’t do that—

Brian Biro:   You’ve got to do it anyways. But ** on Michael Jordan always talked about how he missed more game winning shots than he made and you learn from those things. And you just don’t stay stuck in the past and say, I didn’t do it yesterday I’ll never do it. No, what can I learn from yesterday to do it different and better tomorrow. 

Jim Rembach:   Yeah, and he also talks about getting cut from the basketball team and definitely didn’t let that keep him down that’s for sure. So, when you start thinking about—oh, gosh, I can only imagine you talked about reading a lot, the speaking and those speakers that you’ve met and all of the things that you’ve been exposed to there’s probably several quotes that you like but is there one that kind of stands out that you can share with us? 

 

Brian Biro:   Yeah. I love the quote from John Wooden it said, “It’s amazing what’s accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit.” We are too focused on a need for approval and what he was saying is you get the joy from what you’re doing, really Jim that’s why I love what I do speaking it’s not from the response and I get a ton of really neat response because it’s fun it’s emotional it touches your family and your work, but I love the way I feel when I’m doing it and I don’t need any credit for it I don’t need any approval. I appreciate it I’m thankful for all the kind things that people say but it’s not my purpose it’s not my driving force. My force is that I love what I’m doing and in the process of doing that I’m already fulfilled. I love that one because credit is something we should give responsibility is something we should take and too often that gets reversed. 

 

Jim Rembach:   I think that’s a great point. For me as you were saying that I started thinking to another thing that’s important to go with that because here’s where I’ve made some mistakes if sometimes when people give you that appreciation and give you that credit is that you discount it but you need to learn how to take it with grace.

 

Brian Biro:   Absolutely. In fact that’s a chapter in the book it’s about learning to receive. Because receiving is allowing people to feel the joy of giving. If you don’t receive well you take away their joy so receiving you’ll never really be a giver until you learn to receive and take it graciously. Thank you, take it in because that is allowing them to feel that joy that we all love that we feel when we give.

 

Jim Rembach:   Most definitely. Also when you start thinking about all of this learning and all of these things is that in order for us to get to these points and break the board and stuff it’s the overcoming humps that we talked about them on show. Is there a time where you’ve had to get over the hump, where you broke through the board and it made a difference for you?

 

Brian Biro:   bsolutely. When I graduated from Stanford, right before I graduated from college, I was just real down to myself because I was like a lot of people my age I had a dad who came from a kind of a different time and so he was not one who gave any praise he was not one who gave a compliment and so as a little kid I just wanted my dad to love me and to be proud of me. But he couldn’t say it he could never say, I love you son. He could never say you’re doing great. It just wasn’t in him and he just came from a different world. But it turned into this drive where I had to be the best at whatever I did and I was no fun to play with. If you’re playing a game with me you go, man this guy’s no fun he’s just like too intense, because I was trying to be something that was out of my control I was comparing myself to others. At that lowest point where I thought I’m no good because I’m never the best I realized that I wanted to shift one word in my approach to life. Instead of going to be the best my decision was I choose from this point forward to simply focus on being my best. The shift from the best to my best transformed my life because no longer did I evaluate what I was doing based upon what other people thought or comparing to others. I focused on what I put in more, my effort, my energy, my attitude, the things I actually control. I became fun to play sports with. I performed better because I wasn’t working against something that was unreachable. When you’re driven by the need for approval you’ll never have enough annual and you’ll never feel complete. So, that shift that epiphany from trying to be the best to simply go on after being my best was the big breakthrough for me.

 

Jim Rembach:   Gosh, I can only imagine coming out of school and you were teaching swimming at the time and all of that I mean how did you prevent translating or transposing that type of mindset and drive on to your students?

 

Brian Biro:   Well, you focus on each one individually. Everyone has their different potential in terms of their physical potential. I realized that I have many athletes, and one of my favorite stories I have to tell you this is a long, it’s about an athlete I coached for eight years and I coached her backwards, her name was Allison. She always fell apart at the ends of a race, she had quick speed but she died at the ends of races. I kept saying to her year after year, one of these days you’re not going to die, Allison, she kept dying because she thought about was not dying. One day I said to her, focus on finishing your race this time like you just did your warm-up sprint, because she did a great warm-up sprint, and she blew away my expectation she broke through in a way, as I think about it I’m getting chills just talking about it again and I realized how often we coach backwards or we compare them to others we don’t have to do that. We don’t have to say, “Why don’t you act more like your sister” No. Why don’t you do this outside of your sister leave your sister out it instead work on them individually focus on their strengths and their potential. So that’s really the concept, I wanted each one to rise as far as they could rise and also to never overestimate to never think I knew their limit. One like Allison show me you can do better than you ever dreamed of. She blew away my absolute, wildest dreams for her and it was all in that moment of shifting from what we don’t want to what we do want. 

 

Jim Rembach:   I think that’s a great story. When you’re talking about that I started thinking about something that a good mentor of mine Dr. Shama Kannan talks about—it’s called difference management. And we have to understand the differences of folks in order to be able to manage the situation, the relationship in a way that’s unique and important to that not to a particular group or stereotype.

Brian Biro:   Every great coach, teacher, leader understands you don’t coach everybody the same because everybody’s not the same. Some people need a pat on the back some people need a pointed cat call your toe and their (21:01 inaudible). Some people need space you need to let them go and that’s to them says, you believe in me because you’re not standing hovering over me. If you coach everybody the same you’re lazy and you’re not going to be as effective. Look for people’s opportunities, their strengths coach everyone based upon their unique qualities and differences and you help them get the most out of who they are.

Jim Rembach:   Well you can’t rely on your own devices in order to do that. For me I have to—what I do is that I create a dossier. And I have to keep referring back to it because oftentimes I forget that particular person I have to be different in that way in order to connect with them. So, I will take notes and I’ll put it in LinkedIn or something like that and create separate forms in order for me to keep track of it because otherwise I just go back to my norm of what I have habits in. 

Brian Biro:   See what it does for you too is whatever you seek to enrich another person’s experience you can’t help it enrich your own it makes you better because it means you have to be more alert you have to pay attention you have to learn from when you mess up, this didn’t work right. A great way to look at it is the meaning of my communication is the in. In other words if I’m communicating something, even if I think I’m a good communicator, and that other person doesn’t get it if you go come from the place that says the meaning of my communication is the response I get that says I got to change me I got to be a better coach better teacher. Bear Bryant, the great Alabama coach once said, “I’m just an old country (22:33 inaudible) but if I’ve learned one thing if you want to get a team’s heart to beat us one when things go great they did it. Things go pretty good we did it. Things go bad I did it.” In other words, I’m going to take responsibility and so by doing that by really coaching those differences looking for those ways that we need to treat people differently what happens is it makes us be more alert, more aware, more creative and a better leader.

Jim Rembach:   That’s for sure. Doing all that definitely requires a lot of energy, so one of the things that stood out in your book was that you talked about having a new kind of energy that allows you to go from three to ten, what is that? 

Brian Biro:   Well first thing, everyone we touch our energy is our example. People don’t remember that much of what we say but we remember their energy. We get their energy over the phone we never seen their face. So it’s important to understand that the biggest sense of who you are comes from your energy. Energy is a choice that’s what I want people to learn from that, In other words, a lot of people think about their energy kind of the way they think about the weather—hope the weather is good this weekend for the family picnic, that’s what we think about our energy, hope I’ll make it through this week—but energy is a choice. I like to put it on the ten-point scale because it’s just really simple and simple to me is actionable. 

On a ten-point energy scale one is comatose, ten is a child on Christmas morning. Ten is the way my people feel in my events when they break their board. So the pivotal question in life is, where are you living on that ten-point scale? Man that’s a great question. And then suppose you said I’m living at the seven, which is pretty high in this world. How do we change our energy by choice? And I talked about it in the book. To make it real quick first change the way you move. Our energy is created by the way that we move. You can instantly change your energy by sitting up, opening your eyes bright or smiling and immediately you’ll feel a higher level on that ten-point scale. The most constant source of energy though is purpose. When you’re filled with purpose energies no problem. When you’re doing what you love to do doesn’t matter how much sleep you have you’re feeling great. Constantly remembering to focus, what’s my purpose here? What’s my most desired outcome? That will immediately change your energy. 

Jim Rembach:   The last thing is ask better questions that can elevate your energy. The questions you ask yourself will determine the quality of your life. Instead of why can’t I do this, how can I do this how can I do this? How can I do this better? Start to create constructive, enabling, uplifting, empowering questions. 

Brian Biro:   As you’re talking I started thinking a whole lot about building of resilience. And you also talked about being easy to impress and hard to offend.

Jim Rembach:   Yeah, I love that. That to me is one of the really great breakthrough principles and in the new book there are no overachievers. Most people are easy to offend and when you’re easy to offend you immediately go into the defense mode and in the defense mode nothing ever gets done. When you’re easy to impress what that means is you’re interested in people. That’s why you do this show Jim, you’re interested in people you want to learn from all kinds of people have fun with them and learn those little pearls that might be different than maybe you’ve thought about before that allows you to grow a little bit. I tell the story about being hard to offend difficult to offend of Jack Nicklaus, the great golfer. When he came up, people don’t forget this now, he was the bad guy because he has beaten Arnold Palmer and everybody loved Arnie. And Jack Nicklaus was heavier and he had a butch haircut and he had the audacity to beat the king, to beat Arnold Palmer, but he is a great example of being hard to ascend. He was gracious in defeat, he was gracious in victory he always had a kind word to say about everyone. Gradually that changed the perception of Jack Nicklaus, till today he’s revered because he was hard to offend he stayed to the things he controlled and he never took it personal and that’s really what it’s about. I love to ask this question whenever I start to feel a defense thing come up inside of me, inside my own head I’ll ask, what else could this mean? And immediately it makes me think, “Well, maybe it’s not about—maybe they’re having a bad day, maybe I didn’t communicate very clearly I need to do a better job of communicating, maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with this they just found out some bad news in their family.” When you come from being hard to offend you open up the possibility to connect and communicate rather than to get defensive.

Jim Rembach:   That’s so true. Now I know you have a lot of things going on. Your daughter’s working with you.

Brian Biro:   Yeah, I love it, I love it. It really helps me hook up with—also you are kind of force some activity with us seeing my ten month old grandson, Auggie, and I’m telling you that’s the greatest thing in the world. People always joke about grand parenting, you love it because you can play with them and then drop them off, that’s not it. I’ll tell you what it is, Jim, is that, when you have your own children you’re trying to figure out your life and so you’re not present a lot of the time when you’re there. You’re thinking about the meeting you had to do tomorrow you’re thinking about this and that you’re not present you’re not there. By the time you have grandchildren you realize none of that stuff was nearly as important as these precious moments I have with you. And so when you’re with them you’re really with them that’s why a grandparent though it’s harder to get down to the ground they’ll stay on the ground with that grandchild for an hour instead of getting—because it’s so precious and you’re fully present. That’s the most important thing we say to people in our lives, is by being fully present. We say to them you’re important, I’m loving it. My daughter is bringing fresh ideas she’s much more tech-savvy than I am she’s forcing the old dad to grow a little bit, I love it. 

Jim Rembach:   Thanks for sharing that and that perspective that’s something I really needed to hear. When you start looking at all these things and the additional work that she’s actually creating for you, I’m sure there’s another book already in works, when you look at all of those things what’s one of your goals?

Brian Biro:   I think my greatest goal is I want to reach as many people as I can with the concept that if one breakthrough. You break through from fear to love, that’s it. Fear has a lot of names. It can be anger it can be animosity it could be hiding. Love has a lot of names, joy, possibility, courage. When I help people break through whether it be in my books or in my seminars and I start to recognize that every time you choose the fear side you feel it you feel heavy it feels like a thousand pounds. And every time you choose the love side you feel light, your eyes open wide you feel like hey I can. So my real goal in life is to help people start to recognize it’s already in you. It’s already in you to focus more on what you want than what you don’t want. It’s already in you to affect your own health by the decisions you make. It’s already in you to get along with people who you maybe didn’t get along with before but you got to change you, If things are to change I must change. 

Jim Rembach:   Stop underachieving, right?

Brian Biro:   That’s it. 

Jim Rembach:   The Fast Leader legion wishes you the very best. Now before we move on let’s get a quick word from our sponsor.

 

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Alright here we go Fast Leader legion it’s time for the Hump Day Hoedown. Okay, Brian the Hump day Hoedown is a part of our show where you give us good insights fast. So I’m going to ask you several questions and your job is to give us a robust get rapid responses that are going to help us move onward and upward faster. Brian Biro, are you ready to hoedown?

 

Brian Biro:   I’m ready to hoedown, let’s do it. 

 

Jim Rembach:    What do you think is holding you back from being an even better leader today?

 

Brian Biro:   Getting caught in comfort zones. Comfort zones almost immediately become confinement zones. So, disrupt your status quo and challenge yourself to try to learn something new every day.

Jim Rembach:   What is the best leadership advice you have ever received?

Brian Biro:   It’s really from Coach John Wooden and that is, it’s amazing what’s accomplished when no one cares and gets the credit. Give the credit take responsibility. 

Jim Rembach:   What is one of your secrets that you believe contributes to your success?

Brian Biro:   I think number one is, I love people and I believe in people and I think when you come from that place you bring it out.  Secondly, is to understand that my energy is my choice. Every day I would seek to live with as much energy as I can. Use up that gas from that day so it’s empty and you fill up the tank during the night start again.

Jim Rembach:   What do you feel is one of your best tools that helps you lead in business or life?

Brian Biro:   Being fully present. Telling people through your actions that when you’re with them you’re a hundred percent with the mind, body and spirit.

Jim Rembach:   What would be one book that you’d recommend to our listeners, it could be from any genre, of course we’re going to put a link to, There are No Overachievers, on your show notes page as well.

Brian Biro:   I would choose two books. One is called, Unbroken. It’s a book by Laura Hillenbrand, she wrote Seabiscuit as well. It’s an incredible story, people read that book they will never complain in their life again. It’s about a guy named Louie Zamperini. The second one is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It’s a story that ultimately gets to the power of purpose.

Jim Rembach:   Okay, Fast Leader listeners you can find links to that and other bonus information from today’s show by going to fastleader.net/BrianBiro. Okay Brian, this is my last Hump Day Hoedown question: Imagine you were given the opportunity to go back to the age of 25 and you’ve been given the opportunity to take the knowledge and skills that you have now back with you but you can’t take everything back you can only choose one. What skill or piece of knowledge would you take back with you and why?

Brian Biro:   I would ask more than tell. Leaders think they’re supposed to have the answers but when you give the answers you stop people from discovering their own learning. I would ask more than tell. It’s no coincidence we have two ears and one mouth we need to have that proportion. Great leaders want to create more leaders you only do that by getting people to think. The way to get people to think is to ask more to tell.

Jim Rembach:   Brian, it was an honor to spend time with you today, can you please share with the Fast Leader legion how they can connect with you? 

Brian Biro:   Sure will. Thanks so much. On my website, brianbiro.com, it’s got all information on my speaking, my books. Love to hear from you, it has all the hooks up to the social media as well. Thanks a million for having me Jim it’s been a blast.

Jim Rembach:   Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom the Fast Leader legion honors you and thanks you for Fast Leader helping us get over the hump. Woot! Woot!

Thank you for joining me on the Fast Leader show today. For recaps, links from every show, special offers and access to download and subscribe, if you haven’t already, head on over the fastleader.net so we can help you move onward and upward faster. 

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